笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

中英笑话互译(英汉互译笑话)

本文目录一览:

英语笑话及中文翻译大全?

民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事型别,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我分享英语笑话及中文翻译,希望可以帮助大家!

英语笑话及中文翻译:Now I have two skunks in there

"We have a skunk***臭鼬*** in the basement," shrieked***尖叫*** the caller to the policedispatcher***排程员***. "How can we get it out?"

"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."

Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.

"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"

“我们的地下室里有一只臭鼬,”打电话的人对警察排程员尖叫道。“我们怎样才能把它弄出来?”

“弄一些面包屑,”排程员说;“从地下室往外铺一条小道直到后院。然后将地下室的门开启。”

一段时间后,那人又打电话打了回来。“你们将它弄出来了吗?”排程员问他。

“没有,”打电话的人答道,“现在那儿有两只臭鼬了。”

英语笑话及中文翻译:Whose plate it is 谁的盘子

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

客人:“为什么你的狗狗坐在那儿老是看着我吃东西呢?”

旅馆主人:“我不敢想象,除非是因为你拿了它经常用来吃东西的盘子了。”

英语笑话及中文翻译:I want to know you 我想认识你

Boy: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"

Girl: "It's in the phone book."

Boy: "But I don't know your name."

Girl: "That's in the phone book too."

男:我想给你打电话。你的电话号码是多少?

女:在电话本上呢。

男:可是我不知道你的名字呀。

女:也在电话本上呢。

英语笑话及中文翻译:He's shaving you 他正在给你刮胡须

Stopping in an unfamiliar barber shop for a shave, a young playboy took a fancy to themanicure***修指甲*** gril and suggested dinner and a show that evening.

The girl demurred***反对,抗辩***," I don't think I ought to, I'm married."

"Why don't you ask your hu *** and," the playboy suggested." I'm sure he wouldn't object."

"You can ask him yourself ," the girl srugged, "He's shaving you."

一位年轻的 *** 在一家不熟悉的理发店里刮胡须,他很喜欢修指甲的女郎,于是提议哪天晚上去吃晚餐和看表演。

女郎犹豫着说:“我觉得我不应该去,我结过婚了。”

“你何不问问你先生,” *** 建议说:“我确定他不会反对的。”

“你可以自己问他,”女郎耸耸肩道,“他正在替你刮胡须。”

英语笑话及中文翻译:A Stubborn Horse 倔强的马

The great novelist had gone mad, but now there seemed to be some hope for his recovery. For six months, he had been sitting at his typewriter pounding out a novel. Finally, he pronounced it pleted and brought the book to his psychiatrist, who eagerly began reading it aloud:

General Jackson leaped upon his faithful horse and yelled, 'Giddyap, giddyap, giddyap, giddyap' The doctor thumbed through the rest of the manuscript. There's nothing here but 500 pages of giddyaps! he exclaimed.

Stubborn horse, explained the writer.

大作家疯了,但现在似乎还有恢复的希望。六个月以来,他都坐在打字机旁用力地敲一部小说。终于,他宣称书已写好并把它拿到精神病医生那里。医生急切地大声朗读起来:

“杰克逊将军跨上他的忠实的马,喊道:‘驾,驾,驾,驾……’”医生翻了翻剩下的手稿。“五百页纸竟全是‘驾,驾’!”他惊奇地说。

“是匹倔强的马,”作家解释道。

中英笑话互译(英汉互译笑话)插图

翻译笑话(汉译英)

intellectual deficiency

Bob: Doctor, how to tell a guy has intellectual deficiency who seems normal?

Doctor: It's very easy. You can ask him a question. He must be have intellectual deficiency if he can't answer.

Bob: what's the question?

Doctor: Captain Hook had travled world 3 times and he died in one time, which time?

Bob: Excuse me? Do you have another questions? I have to admit that I don't familar with the history

Asking for help

One day a police station get a call from a very nerves girl.

"Sir! Help! Help!"

"Miss, please calm down, what's wrong?"

"There is a cat coming in my room

"oh, I think it's not a big deal for a cat's coming"

"No, no this cat is very dengerous, the cat is dengerous"

"Miss, the cat is really not dengerous"

"Sir, are you police station? Please come to help me after I called you if you are a police. The cat is here now. It's dengerous"

"Miss, Who heil are you?"

"I'm a parrot, I'm a parrot"

the hedgehogs on the road

two hedgehog came to the road and they want to cross the road on the zebra crossing

one of the hedgehog said:"Don't do this!"

another one asked:"Why not?"

first one said:"You will know after you see the accedent that happened to the zebra"

the polar bear family

A little polar bear asked his mom a question

little polar bear: "Mom, are you sure I am a polar bear? not a cola or a brown bear"

Momy:"Yes you are, my boy."

and the little polar bear went to ask his dady

little polar bear:"Dady, are you sure I am a polar bear? not a cola or a brown bear"

Dady: "Yes you are, boy"

Latter the little polar bear went to ask his grandpa.

little polar bear:"Grandpa, are you sure I am a polar bear? not a cola or a brown bear"

grandpa: "Yes you are, boy, why you ask like this?"

little polar bear:"because I feel cold"

英语短笑话带翻译

民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!

英语短笑话带翻译篇1

Liar,Liar

骗子,骗子

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.

老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。

The policeman asked her for a description.

警察要求,她形容一下。

She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."

她说:“他三十五岁,六尺四寸,黑眼睛,波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮,体重185磅,说话很轻,而且对小孩子很好。”

The next-door neighbor protested,

隔壁邻居期提出反驳说:

"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."

“你老公五尺四寸,胖嘟嘟 的,秃头,有一个太嘴巴,而且对你的小孩很刻薄。”

The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"

老婆回答说:“你说对了,可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?”

英语短笑话带翻译篇2

A Henpecked Husband

怕老婆的老公

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.

有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。

"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."

他说:“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。”

The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"

这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家,用力啪答一声关上门,在他老婆的面前:挥舞着拳头,并且大声咆哮说:

From now on you are talking orders from me.

“从现在起,你得乖乖听我的命令。

I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.

我现在就要吃晚餐,当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候,到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。

Tonight I am going out with my friends.

今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出,

You are going to stay at home where you belong.

你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。

Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"

另外还有一件事情,你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?”

I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."

老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。”

英语短笑话带翻译篇3

向你的烦恼说再见

A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。

Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "

那位犹太人对圣彼得说:“坦白讲,能到这里让我蛮惊讶的,我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”

"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."

“我们实在感到非常遗憾,”圣彼得说,“但我们这里没有那样的偏见,这里每个人都完全平等,只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”

the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"

那名犹太人正确地拼出God后,被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得,我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击,而且只能住在居留地内,我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”

"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "

“小兄弟,你的烦恼已经结束了,只要拼出God这个词,你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”

The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.

印第安人照着做,不久也被引入天堂。

Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"

接着那名黑人跨步向前,“圣彼得,”他说道,“一辈子人们都瞧不起我,不公平对待我,在这里那些事不会发生吧!”

"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "

“当然不会,我的弟兄,我们不会做那样的事,只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词,天堂之国就是你的了!”

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医生幽默笑话中英文翻译

有关医生幽默笑话中英文翻译

The doctor lives downstairs

医生住在楼下

"Doctor,"she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me.”

”医生“她冲进屋后大声说道。"我想让你坦率地告诉我,我到底得了什么病。"

He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam,”he said at length, “l've just three things to telf you. First,your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, l'm an artist,the doctor lives downstairs."

他从头到脚打量了她,然后大声说:“太太,我有三件事要对你说。第一,您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二,如您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红,您的相貌将会变美。第三,我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

英语幽默笑话:死于肝癌

那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事

Wife:you see. According to the statistics on the paper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.

妻子:你看这张报纸,据统计,死于肝癌的人80%都是喝酒的。

Husband: lt's okay. To my investigation,all these people eat meals.

丈夫:那有什么?据我调查,死于肝癌的人100%都吃饭的。

英语幽默笑话:你精神正常吗?

那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事

Are you a normal person?

你精神正常吗?

During a visit to the mental asylum,a visitor asked the director, "What is the criterion that defines a patient to be institutionalized?""Well..."said the director, "we fill up a bathtub,and we offer a teaspoon, a teacup,and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."Oh,I understand,n said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket as it is larger than the spoon or the teacup."Noooooooo! n answered the director. "A normal person would pull the plug."

一个参观者在参观一所精神病院的时候问院长,”你们是用什么标准来决定一个人是否应该进精神病院呢?””哦……¨院长说,“是这样,我们先给一个浴缸放满水,然后我们给病人一个茶匙,一个茶杯和一个水桶去把浴缸里面的水放清。“哦,我明白了¨,参观者说,”正常人会选择水桶,因为水桶比茶匙和茶杯的容积大。””错了”,院长回答道,正常人会把浴缸塞子拔掉。

北京会是下一个雾都吗?Will Beijing Be the Next Foggy City?

On December, 1952, London was surrounded by the poisonous foggy for at least 4 days. Due to the poisonous air, the hospitals in London were crowed with patients, more than 4000 people died because of the foggy. In the next two month, 8000 people passed away. London, who used to proud of her fast growing economic, at this moment, she had to swallow the heavy price. After this incident, London had made up her mind that she must get rid of the poisonous foggy, and brought the city back to life again. After twenty years of hard working, London had made a balance between economic and environment. The win-win outcome had inspired the whole world.

1952年12月,伦敦被毒雾笼罩了至少4天。因为毒雾,伦敦的医院挤满了病人,超过4000人死亡。在随后的两个月,又有8000人去世。伦敦,这个曾经以快速增长的经济而骄傲的城市,在这一刻,付出了沉重的代价。这次事故后,伦敦狠下心要摆脱掉“雾都”的帽子,让城市重获新生。在通过20年的不懈努力之后,伦敦在经济发展和环境治理中找到了平衡。这个双赢的结果对世界有很大的启发。

Beijing, the second biggest city in China, has faced the same situation, the foggy. Getting into winter, the air in Beijing was extremely bad;?the foggy is surrounding the city for days. Thanks to today’s advanced health service;?people can use various ways to protect themselves from the poisonous foggy. However, this isn’t the right way to fix the problems. The children dare not play outside;?the traffic light cannot be seen because of the thick foggy, this will increase the possibility of traffic accidents;?people have to wear breathing mask if they need to go outside. The clean air cannot make people to live forever, but at least it can make sure people are not suffering from coughing. However, we’re just too blind to see. If everybody plants a tree, the air will be clean someday. But the ironic part is the governments still chase the rapid growth of GDP, and play deaf and dumb to the environment. Do we really have to walk the same path just like old London?

北京,这个中国第二大的`城市,现如今面临着同样的问题:毒雾。进入冬季以来,北京的空气变得特别的差。迷雾笼罩城市,迟迟不肯散去。感谢如今先进的医疗服务,人们可以用多种方法来抵制毒雾。但这也是治标不治本。小孩子不能外出游玩,交通灯看不见,增大了车祸的风险;如果一定要出门,那就得带口罩。干净的空气不能使人长生不老,但是至少让人们远离咳嗽之苦。然而,我们却视而不见。如果每个人种一棵树,空气就会变干净一些。但讽刺的是政府部门却在一味的追求GDP的增长,对环境问题装聋作哑。难道我们真的要走上旧时伦敦的老路么?

I don’t want Beijing or any other cities in China to be the next foggy city. This is so scary. I hope we can return to our offspring a clean sky and fresh air.

我不希望北京或者是中国的任何一个城市变成下一个“雾都”。这太可怕了。我希望我们能还给我们的子孙后代一个干净的蓝天和新鲜的空气。

编辑 angel

英语笑话 谁是傻子

那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事

Who is nuts ?

谁是傻子?

In a hospital for mentally disturbed people, when the doctor walked into the room of a patient, he saw him dangling from the ceiling. Being frightened, he called the nurse to come and pull him down for fear that the man might fall to his death. The nurse said;"Doctor, every day this patient thinks that he is a lamp, therefore, he often hangs from the ceiling!"The doctor said;“No,you have to pull him down at once;otherwise, he'll die if he falls down."

一家精神病院里,医生走进一个病人的房间,发现病人正吊在天花板上晃来晃去。医生吓坏了,担心病人摔下来一命呜呼,赶紧叫护士把病人拉下来。护士说:¨医生,这个病人每天都认为自己是一盏灯,所以常常把自己吊在天花板上。“医生说:¨不行,你 还是得马上把他拉下来,免得他摔死。

After a pause,the nurse answered: "But the light will go out after I pull him down!"

护士停顿了一下,说:¨可是,如果我把他拉下来,灯不就熄了吗?

英语笑话:三只猩猩

那些妙趣横生的英语幽默故事

Three gorillas fell out of a tree one by one.

有三只猩猩一个接一个地从树上掉下来。

the first one was sick,the Second was being a copycat and the third gave in to peer pressure.

第一只生病了,第二只盲目模仿,第三只屈服于同僚压力

;

精典的英语笑话(中英文互译)

分类: 娱乐休闲 幽默滑稽

问题描述:

圣诞节快到了,我们每个人都要表演节目。我排的是讲英语笑话,但是有的观众英语程度不是很好,而我希望一篇简单易理解的精典笑话故事(不能太短了,而且要中英文互译,因为我讲完一遍英文,还要用中文翻一遍给大家听,所以要中英文版听起来都能让人发笑!~) 谢谢!

解析:

One day a visitor from the city came to a *** all rural area to drive around the country roads, see how the farms looked, and perhaps to see how farmers earned their living. The city man saw a farmer in his yard, holding a pig up in his hands, and lifting it so that the pig could eat apples from an apple tree. The city man said to the farmer," I see that your pig likes apples, but isn"t that quite a waste of time?" The farmer replied," What"s time to a pig?"

一天,有一个城市里的游客来到一个小乡村,在乡间路上开着车,想看看农庄是什么样子,也想看看农夫怎样种田过日子。这位城里人看见一位农夫在宅后的草地上,手中抱着一头猪,并把它举得高高的,好让它能够吃到树上的苹果。城里人对农夫说,"我看你的猪挺喜欢吃苹果的,但是,这不是很浪费时间吗?"那位农夫回答说,"时间对猪有什么意义?"

A Useful Lesson

In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar.

Mr. Thompson used to go to a bar near his house quite often,but he never took his son,Tom,because he was too young. Then when Tom had his eighteenth birthday, Mr.Thompson took him to his usual bar for the first time.They drank for half an hour, and then Mr.Thompson said to his son,“Now, Tom,I want to teach you a useful lesson.You must always be careful not to drink too much. And how do you know when you've had enough? Well, I'll tell you.Do you see those o lights at the end of the bar? When they seem to have bee four,you've had enough and should go home.”

“But, Dad,” said Tom,“I can only see one light at the end of the bar.”

有益的教训

在英国,十八岁以下的人不准进酒吧喝酒。

汤普森先生以前常常去他家附近的一个酒吧喝酒,但他从来不带他的儿子汤姆去,因为他年纪太小。后来,当汤姆年满十八岁的时候,汤普森先生第一次带他去他常去的那家酒吧。他们喝了半个小时,而后,汤普森先生对他儿子说:“汤姆,现在我要告诉你一个有益的教训。你必须时时小心不要喝得太多。你怎么知道你喝够了呢?好,我来告诉你。你看见酒吧那头有两盏灯吗?当那两盏灯看起来变成四盏的时候,你就喝够了,应该回家了。

“可是,爸爸。”汤姆说:“在酒吧那头我只能看见一盏灯。”

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