笑话哦本文目录一览：
- 1、英语幽默小对话
- 2、英语笑话简短对话摘抄？
- 3、英语搞笑的对话 十万火急!
- 4、英语短篇对话笑话
英语幽默小对话
下面是我整理的英语幽默小对话，欢迎大家阅读!
英语幽默小对话1：
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl?
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why? What did he do to you?
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this? (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: That's no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this? (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, that's what he did.
Preacher: That's still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this? (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, that's what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, that's still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
英语幽默小对话2：
A: You really like my stupid jokes?
B: Yes, they just tear me up! You have such a dry sense of humor and you keep such a straight face that it takes minutes for the joke to dawn on me.
A: Yes, well such jokes aren’t funny if the wisecracker laughs. My father was a great jokester. It sometimes took hours for me and my brother to get the joke.
A: 你真的喜欢我讲的这些愚蠢的笑话吗?
B: 是的，它们都快让我肚皮笑破了!你还真能装，板着个脸，我是过了一会儿才领悟你的笑话的。
A: 讲俏皮话的人自己先笑了，就没意思了。我爸可会讲笑话了，有的时候我和我哥得花上半天功夫才能明白过来。
英语幽默小对话3：
男: This seat empty?(这个座位是空的吧?)
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。)【我立马走人】
男：Haven''t I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)
女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)【我不想和你有任何交集】
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)
女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼)【^_^头疼也是可以预约的】
男：Can I have your name?(我能知道你的名字吗?)
女：Why? Don''t you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)
男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)
女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)【长的真丑】
男：I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。)
女：Why? Are you leaving?(是吗?你是说你要离开?)【你能离开就是对我的仁慈】
英语笑话简短对话摘抄？
劳动人民喜欢说笑话,各个地区的笑话都有不同的特点。下面我整理了简短对话的英语笑话 ，希望大家喜欢!
简短对话的英语笑话摘抄
感觉很好***中英***
Farmer Joe was suing a trucking pany for injuries sustained in an accident. In court, the pany's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe.
农夫乔起诉一家货运公司在一场交通事故中给他带来了接连的病痛。在法庭上，公司的律师询问乔。
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident,’ I' m fine?”’ asked the lawyer.
“在事故现场，你不是说你感觉很好吗?”律师问。
Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I’11 tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the. . .”
乔回答说:“那我就告诉你事情的经过，我刚把我心爱的骡子贝西赶进……
"I didn't ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, `I' m fine'?”
“我没有问你细节。”律师打断了乔，“请回答我的问题，在事故现场，你不是说你感觉很好吗?”
Farmer Joe continued, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road. . .”
乔接着说:“对，我把贝西赶进拖车里，驾着车在路上走……”
The lawyer interrupted again and said，"Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman said that he was just fine. Now, several months after the accident, he is suing my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”
律师再一次打断他说:“法官，我要的是事实，在事故现场，这个人告诉巡警他感觉很好，可是现在事故发生几个月了，他却起诉我的当事人。我认为他是在骗人，请您让他简练地回答问题。”
But the judge was interested in Farmer Joe's story and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his mule,! Bessie.”，
可是法官却对乔的故事很感兴趣，他对律师说:“我很想听听他讲那条骡子贝西的事。”
Joe thanked the judge and proceeded. "Well，as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie，my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi一truck and trailer ran the stop sign and *** acked my truck right in the side.
“乔向法官表示感谢，接着讲，“正如我刚才所说，我把我的骡子—贝西赶进了拖车，驾着车行驶在高速公路上，这时一辆挂著拖车的大型卡车闯过了红灯，把我的小卡车撞到了一旁。
"I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear Bessie was moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.”
我被甩到了一个水沟里，贝西被甩进了另一个水沟里，我全身痛得不能动，这时我听到了贝西在低声的叫，我从它的叫声听出它的情况很糟糕。
"Shortly after the accident, a highway patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said: `Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”’
“事故发生后不一会儿，高速公路巡警便赶到了现场，警察听见贝西的叫声，朝它走过去，他看贝西，掏出了***，朝它的两眼间射了一枪，警察举著枪过马路向我走来，他说:你的骡子的情况很糟，所以我射死了它，那么你现在“感觉如何呢?”
简短对话的英语笑话鉴赏
关于技术支援的真实故事***中英***
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows?"
一位女士给佳能服务部门打电话说她的印表机出了些问题，技术人员说:“你是在视窗***指视窗作业系统***下执行的吗?”
The woman then responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window，and his is working fine.”
女士回答说:“不，我的桌子在门的旁边，不过你说的对，坐在我旁边隔间的那个男的是在窗户下面，他的印表机工作得很正常。”
Tech Support; "How much free space do you have on your hard drive?"
技术支援:“您的硬碟还有多大的空间?”
Customer: "Well, my wife likes to get up there on that Internet, and she downloaded ten hours of free space. Is that enough?"
顾客:“我的太太很喜欢上英特网，她下载了10个小时的空白空间，这够了吗?”
简短对话的英语笑话赏析
找妻子***中英***
A man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked,” You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
在超市里，一个男的朝一个非常漂亮的女士走过去，并对他说:“你知道吗?我和我的妻子在超市走散了，你能和我说几分钟话吗?”
“why?”
“为什么?”
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
“因为每当我和漂亮女士说话的时候，我太太就会不知从哪儿钻了出来。”
英语搞笑的对话 十万火急!
英语笑话（一）
老师在黑板上写了一句：Time is money.并让同学们翻译.有名学生答道：“汤姆是玛丽.”
小明上英文课时跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下来.过了一会儿,小明又跟老师说：May I go to the toilet?
老师说：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下来.他旁边的同学于是忍不住问：你不是跟老师说要上厕所吗?怎么不去?
小明说：你没听老师说「去你个头」啊!
英语短篇对话笑话
有一天，俺商店里来了个外国人买西餐料。他选好一样东西，俺就在计算器上摁出价钱给他看。当然俺有点不好意思了，而且俺还会句英语。
于是 ，俺就对他说：
“I am sorry”。
“I am sorry， too” 外国人回答。
“I am sorry three” 我道。
“What are you sorry for?” 外国人问。
“I am sorry five” 我说……
男：Can I buy you a drink?（我可以为你买一杯饮料吗？）
女：Actually I''d rather have the money.（不必，我我宁愿留下那些钱。
）
经典对话二：
this seat empty?（直译：这个座位是空的吧？）
女：Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.（是的，如果你坐下，我的座位就是空的。）
经典对话五：
男：Haven''t I seen you some place before?（我好像以前在什么地方见过你？）
女：Yes. That''s why I don''t go there anymore.（是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。）
经典对话六：
男：Will you go out with me this Saturday?（这个星期六你想跟我出去吗？）
女：Sorry. I''m having a headache this weekend.（抱歉。这个周末我头疼。）
男：Can I have your name?（直译：我能有你的名字吗？）
女：Why? Don''t you already have one? （为什么？你不是已经有一个了吗？）
经典对话三：
男：I''m a photographer. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
女：I''m a plastic surgeon. I''ve been looking for a face like yours.（我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。）
经典对话四：
经典对话七：
男：I think I could make you very happy.（我想我能让你非常快乐。）
女：Why? Are you leaving?（是吗？你是说你要离开？）
1. TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
2. TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. We always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
3. TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
CLASS: Big hands!
4. TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours.
5. TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-feet snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
1．Do You Know My Work？
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes．
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire．
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money． People don't think of money when they're afraid． When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it． So I took all the bills that I could find．No one will be poorer because I took them．”
“You don't know my work，” said the other．
“What is your work？”
“I'm a policeman．
“Oh！” cried the first man． He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“No，”said the policeman．
“I'm a writer． I'm always telling stories about things that never happened．”
译文：（自己简单翻译）
你知道我是干什么的吗？
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”
“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。
“你是干什么的？”
“我是警察。”
“噢！”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的？”“不知道。”警察说。
“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”
