笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

吃药短笑话(吃药的搞笑段子)

本文目录一览:

有哪些非常短但又很好笑的笑话?

  短笑话不仅可以愉悦心情,还能消除烦闷和疲劳感。实乃常备之“良药”,也是很多男孩子哄女友开心的“小法宝”。发几则自己看过的小笑话共乐。

 一、 甲:“你斗地主总是输,是什么样的动力让你坚持不懈?”

    乙:“因为队友在不停的鼓励我。”

    甲:“如何鼓励?”

    乙:“你的牌打的也忒好了!”

    甲:“……”

二、最近交了个逗比女友,个子矮矮的很卡哇伊,和她一起出去玩。她特兴奋的说“最近我的手脚总是抽筋,是不是又要长个了?想想好兴奋”。 我答道“你这年龄不会长个了,但是有可能萎缩的”。

三、人们都说女儿以有男朋友,感觉是自己辛辛苦苦种的白菜被猪拱了。我自从有了女朋友,自己的家都不怎么回去,天天在岳母娘做家务做好吃的,乐不思蜀。后来我妈给我发来微信说“白菜有没有拱到还不知道,反正养了20多年的猪就这样一声不吭的丢了。”

四、某天儿子在床边上唾着了。突然儿子一个翻身从床上摔到了地上。小伙子脑袋清醒的这没吭声,而是爬到我面前啪给了我一个巴掌。说:“你是怎么看孩子的。”

五、 某校一个学生嫌气学校食堂的做饭难吃,怒火一冲跑去后厨把厨师打了一顿。结果被校长叫进办公室处分前问他,“你到底拿什么东西把他打成这了这鼻青脸肿的样?”学生内疚的答道:“他做的油条。”

六、家里孩子最近厌食,无论怎么哄都不吃饭。妙计心头,我抓起电话假装报警吓唬她:你好,警察叔叔吗?我家有个小朋友不好好吃饭,你们来把他带走关起来吧。儿子瞪大眼睛,认真的告诉我,妈,你还没拨号呢!

七、某天我一边吃冰淇淋一边坐在树荫下晃荡玩手机,突然感觉冰淇淋融化了滴了一滴在手上,于是毫不犹豫的舔了一下,仔细一瞧发现是鸟屎。

八、老爸在吃药,我凑过去看了下说是治疗周围神经病的。我说:“爸,你得神经病了吗?”我爸说,治疗周围神经病,我吃药,治疗的是你和你妈。

九、和一朋友去吃饭,服务员把菜单递过来后,服务员拿着点菜机在按我们所点什么菜。我那朋友憋不住说了句:我点菜时,你能不能别玩手机了……

十、宿舍一舍友拿着杀虫剂往身上乱喷一通,我奇怪地问道:“又没蚊虫,喷什么杀虫剂啊?”舍友幽怨的说:“出去约会,找不到香水了,拿杀虫剂先凑合一下。”我凌乱中。。。

吃药短笑话(吃药的搞笑段子)插图

第三章:那些关于吃药的冷笑话

我这人不会讲笑话,但自从成为长期吃药的一员以后,关于我和药的话总不经意成为身边的人的笑话……

场景一:某天,我跟室友们一起走出宿舍准备去上课,突然我一拍脑门说了句“忘记吃药了”,在我飞奔会宿舍的路上我听到了她们几个特别不厚道的笑出了声。热门网络用语害死人系列啊~

场景二:放假在家,我一边吃药一边跟我妈说话,等到把手里的药全吃完才发觉药的数量不对…好像有一种吃重另一种还没吃…….然后我苦着脸跟我妈说“我好像吃错药了”。谁料亲妈也不厚道的笑了……

场景三:周六晚上,一如既往地跟爸妈打电话,末了,老妈郑重地叮嘱我“要好好吃药啊”。我沉默良久,应了声“嗯”挂掉电话。对铺室友听到这对话,在我挂电话的一瞬间就笑成了狗。我能怎么办呢?我也很绝望啊(欲哭无泪状)~明明是再正常不过甚至还有点严肃的话题,我能说我妈说的时候我有点懵么?我能给她解释这话还有其他意思么?囧~

关于“关于生病时威胁孩子吃药”的笑话

请采纳我的问题

 1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指,但竟没有一个同学注意到,令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候,她突然站起来大声说:“哎呀,这里真热呀,我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她:“你是否怀孕了?”“是啊!”女佣回道。“亏你还说得出口,你还没有结婚,难道不觉得害羞吗?”女主人再次训。“我为什么要害羞,女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗?”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的!”女主人生气地反驳。“我也是啊!”女佣高兴地附和。3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服,就是把口子在后面扣上,可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶, 翻了,一头栽在路旁。警察赶到:警察甲:好严重的车祸。警察乙:是啊,脑袋都撞到后面去了。警察甲:嗯,还有呼吸,我们帮他把头转回来吧。警察乙:好.....一、二使劲,转回来了。警察甲:嗯,没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上,因为时常发生车祸,所以常常有一些鬼故事发生,有一天晚上,有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩,身着白衣的女人向他招手,因为这个司机没有见过鬼,所以大胆的停下来让她上车了,这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼,心里也毛毛的,所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人,开着开着,突然司机发现那个女人不见了!司机吓了一大跳,赶紧踩了一个刹车!只见那个女人满脸是血,表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了:“你会不会开车啊!我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个病人去看病,医生检查了他,皱着眉头说:“您病得太严重了,恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人:“求您告诉我我还能活多久?” 医生:“十……” 病人着急地问:“十什么?十年??十个月???十天?????” 医生:“十,九,八,七,六,五……”6、老师:“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗?”学生:“能,他们都死了。”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱,蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的,蚊子说:“护士,打针的。”蜣一拍大腿:“缘分呐,我是中药局搓药丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半,起火,不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多,光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼:“我的妈呀!都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快!”9、一个人想出国考察,但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示,老总给了他一张字条,上面写着:“Go ahead”。 那人想:“Go ahead=前进,老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。 一个同事见到了他问:“你在做什啊??”他说:“我准备出国考察,老总批准了,给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了:“咱们老总根本就没批准!!咱老总的英语水平你还不知道,他这是在说去个头!”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说:“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言,叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑,他试着喊了一声感谢上帝,那匹马立刻飞奔起来,越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然,马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气:“感谢上帝………”

我打了很久,请采纳

1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"

I played for a long time, please

求一个关于吃药的笑话

滞齿发炎,到医院开了点甲硝唑。

老早就听说甲硝唑对胃有刺激作用。

我胃不太好,每回也不敢多吃。

那天拿到药,打开看说明书,上面说成人的服用量“每日3至6片……”

我想,我体重轻应该少吃点呀,于是倒了三片就吞下去了。

刚吃完就发现说明书下面还有一行,“……分三次服用”。。。

劝人吃药的小笑话

去年穿越剧火热,一哥们也想穿越,

问其穿越后想要什么,回答:

“首先要有一处房产,

其次要有一份稳定有收入的工作,

然后有一个貌美如花的妻子,

最后一个出生入死武功高强的兄弟”。。

于是乎我脑海中浮现出一个画面!

美娇妻端着一个碗,

对哥们说道:“大郎,该起来吃药了

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