笑话哦本文目录一览：
- 1、短英文笑话（五年级）
- 2、五年级英语短篇笑话 带翻译
- 3、英语笑话，五年级，
- 4、五年级英语笑话
短英文笑话（五年级）
TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim. What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all myself," said Tim.
你爸爸帮你了吗？
一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都做对了，怎么回事？你爸爸帮你做了吗？"
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"
五年级英语短篇笑话 带翻译
Good News And Bad News
"There's good news and bad news," the divorce lawyer told his client.
"I could sure use some good news," sighed the client. "What's it?"
"Your wife isn't demanding that your future inheritances be included in the settlement."
"And the bad news?"
"After the divorce, she's marrying your father."
好消息和坏消息
“有好消息，也有坏消息，”离婚律师告诉他的当事人。
“我总能听到一些好消息吧，”当事人叹了口气说，“是什么好消息？”
“你妻子没有要求将你未来的继承财产也划入裁决的范围。”
“那么坏消息呢？”
“离婚以后，她将与你父亲结婚。”
The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too..."
新老师
9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。
“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？” 妈妈问。
“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”
Lost Purse
A lady lost her handbag. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm... That's funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
中文：
一个女人丢了手提包，有一个诚实的小孩捡到后交还给了她。她看了看钱包，说：“嗯，这么有趣，我丢的时候里面是一张20美元，现在成了20张一美元。”
“没错，夫人。”小男孩立刻回答道，“上次我捡到钱包时，那位夫人没有零钱奖赏给我。”
英语小笑话
TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校---慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD HELP YOU?
One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and
saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very
pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and
said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim.
What happened? Did your father help you?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it all
myself," said Tim.
你爸爸帮你了吗？
一天，蒂姆的数学老师看了他的作业，发现他全做对了。老师很高兴
，同时也十分惊讶。他把蒂姆叫到桌前说："蒂姆，你这次的作业全都
做对了，怎么回事？你爸爸帮你做了吗？"
"不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
英语笑话，五年级，
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I
gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But
why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“
昨天给你的钱干什么了？
”
“
我给了一个可怜的老太婆，
”
他回答说。
“
你真是个好孩子，
”
妈妈骄傲地说。
“
再
给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？
”
“
她是个卖糖果的。
”
Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a
bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "
Notes:
(1) inform v.
告诉
(2) nest n.
窝；巢
(3) description n.
描述
(4) encourage v.
鼓励
(5) resemble v.
相似；类似
18.
鸟窝与头发
我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外
的树上垒了
个窝。
“
是什么鸟呢？
”
我姐姐问她。
“
我没看到鸟儿，老师，只看到鸟窝。
”
那孩子回答说。
“
那么，你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗？
”
我姐姐鼓励她道。
“
哦，老师，就像你的头发一样。
”
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
Notes:
(1) poisonous adj.
有毒的
(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue
因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。
句中
Cause
是
Because
的缩略形式。
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“
我们有毒吗？
”
一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“
是的，亲爱的，
”
她回答说，
“
你问这个干什么？
”
“
因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。
”
A Woman Who Fell
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central
Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from
behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her
momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however,
she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said,
"Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
摔倒的女人
上下班高峰期，
我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。
接近门口，
一位肥胖
的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。
她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。
我正准备扶她，
她却自己爬了起来。
她镇定了一下，
对我挤了一下眉，说道：
“
总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗？
”
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。
但除此之
外呢，
那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，
而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。
这个答案很有意
思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，
他肯定会生气的；
而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡
眼，他会更生气。
Corn
既可以表示
“
玉米
/
谷物
”
，也有
“
鸡眼
”
的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为
snail
（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的
生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到
make faces
这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼
脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（
sleepwalker
）梦游（
walk in his sleep
）呢？最简单的方
法就是不让他睡觉。
虽然这不是治疗方法，
但如果让梦游者醒着呢，
他的确就不
会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
--
我叔叔下面有
1000
个人。
--
他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
--
墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her
daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her
daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully
to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the
money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。
在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：
“
相信我，先生，也请你相
信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。
”
英语笑话（四）
my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。
”
英语笑话（五）
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
--
服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
--
对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
--
哦，
那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话（六）
The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a
friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell
with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。
他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家
时说：
“
你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，
再用你的脚把门推开。
”
“
为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？
”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
五年级英语笑话
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.
加油哦↖(^ω^)↗
