笑话哦本文目录一览：
急需：英语小笑话，简单短小，而且超级爆笑！谢了。
1.Is it a boy or a girl
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It's a girl. She's my daughter.
A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father.
B: I'm not. I'm her mother.
翻译：是男孩还是女孩？
A:看看那个留短发和蓝色牛仔裤的年轻人。是男孩还是女孩？
B：是个女孩。她是我的女儿。
A:哦，对不起，先生。我不知道你是她的父亲。
B：我不是。我是她的妈妈。
2.Pretty ugly
Mary: John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do you think, Peter?
Peter: I think you're pretty ugly..
翻译：非常丑陋的
玛丽：约翰说我很漂亮。安迪说我很丑。你觉得怎么样，彼得？
彼得：我觉得你很丑。
3.Silent fart
A man walks into the doctor's office with a serious problem.
"Doctor, I've had problems with silent gas emissions. At home, work, and even at church, I release tons of silent farts everywhere I go! As a matter of fact I've had three sitting here talking to you. What are we going to do?"
The doctor replies:
"The first thing we're going to do is check your hearing."
翻译：沉默的屁：沉默的屁
一个人走进医生的办公室，遇到了一个严重的问题。
“医生，我在无声气体排放方面有问题。在家里，工作，甚至在教堂，我放出无数的无声屁，无论我走到哪里！事实上，我坐在这里和你谈过三次。我们该怎么办？”
医生回答说：
“我们要做的第一件事就是检查你的听力。”
3.Pay tax with a smile
A: I hate paying my income tax.
B: You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile?
A: I'd like to but they insist on money!
翻译：A:我讨厌付所得税。
B：你应该是个好公民——你为什么不微笑着付钱呢？
A:我很愿意，但是他们坚持要钱！
4.Take his place
An attorney telephoned the governor just after midnight, insisting that he talk to him regarding a matter of utmost urgency. An aide eventually agreed to wake up the governor.
"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.
"Judge Garber has just died," said the attorney, "and I want to take his place."
Replied the governor, "Well, it's OK with me if it's OK with the undertaker."
翻译：代替他：取代他的位置
午夜过后，一位律师打电话给州长，坚持要他跟他谈一件非常紧急的事情。一个助手最终同意唤醒州长。
“那么，这是什么呢？”州长抱怨道。
“Garber法官刚刚去世，”律师说，“我想接替他的位置。”
州长回答说：“好吧，如果殡仪馆还好的话，我就可以了。”
5.I'm Sick
One day Hamid felt very sick and he went to the hospital.
Nurse: Hamid, the doctor is here to see you.
Hamid: Tell him, I can't see him. I'm sick.
翻译：我生病了
一天，哈米德感到很不舒服，他去了医院。
护士：哈米德，医生来见你。
哈米德：告诉他，我看不见他。我病了。
向姑姑道歉
爸爸：“儿子，你怎么称呼你的阿姨傻？”去跟她说声对不起。”
儿子：（走到姨妈跟前）“阿姨，对不起你是个笨蛋。”
6.Say sorry to aunt
Dad: "Son, how can you call your aunt stupid? Go and say sorry to her."
Son: (goes over to the aunt) "Aunt, I am sorry you are stupid."
6.Undying love
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes, dear.
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love.
翻译：永恒的爱：永恒的爱
女孩：你爱我吗？
男孩：是的，亲爱的。
女孩：你愿意为我而死吗？
男孩：不，我的爱是永恒的
扩展资料：
look at看; 审视; 评判; 接受
young person(14-17岁的)未成年人; 少年
short hair短头发
blue jeans蓝色斜纹布裤子，牛仔裤
do you你愿意吗
fart讳放屁; 讨厌的人; 令人厌烦的人; 蠢人
walks步态( walk的名词复数 ); 人行道; 步行的路径; 走，步行，散步( walk的第三人称单数 ); 出现; 陪伴…走; 徒步旅行
'vehave 的缩略形式
At home在家; 在国内; 在家接待客人; 精通
and even乃至
四则经典趣味英语笑话
下面是我整理的四则经典趣味 英语笑话 ，希望大家喜欢!
经典英语笑话：小孩子实在了不起
Mother got on the train with Little Johnny and Little Ronny.
妈妈和小强尼、小罗尼一起搭乘火车。
Little Johnny was full of questions, as usual: "What's an emergency brake, Mommy?"
小强尼一如往常问东问西，“妈咪，什么是紧急煞车?"
“Why did that policeman ask to see our tickets?"
“为什么那位警察叔叔要看我们的车票?"
"Why can't I lean out the window?" etc.
“为什么身体不能伸出窗外?"等等诸如此类问题。
His mother was becoming ever more exasperated.
妈妈实在忍不住要发脾气了。
Finally, Little Johnny asked, "What was that last station we stopped at, Mommy?"
最后小强尼又问：“妈咪，刚刚火车停靠的是哪一站?”
"I don't know, Johnny, and will you please stop pestering me? I'm trying to read. "
“我不知道，强尼，你可不可以不要烦我，我正在看书呢!”
A few minutes of silence passed. Then Johnny said, "It's too bad you don't know what station that was, 'cause that's where Little Ronny got off. "
一阵安静后，强尼说：“真糟糕，你竟然不知道罗尼下车的那个车站。"
经典英语笑话：哲学课一则
Really, you have only two things.to worry about-either you are sick or you are well.
真的，你只有两件事要担心，你不是会生病就是身体健康。
If you are well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你身体健康，那么就没什么好担心的。
and if you are sick, you have only two things to worry about-either you get well or you die.
如果生病的话，只要担忧两件事，你不是康复就是死亡。
If you get well, you have nothing to worry about,
如果你康复的话，什么也不必担心。
and if you die, you have only two things to worry about-either you go to heaven or you go to hell.
如果不幸死亡的话，你只要担心两件事，你不是上天堂就是下地狱。
If you go to heaven, you have nothing to worry about,
如果上天堂，什么也不需要你担忧。
and if you go to hell.you'll be so busy shaking hands with old friends, you won't have time to worry !
要是下地狱的话，你会忙着和老朋友握手寒暄，连担忧事情的时间都没有!
经典英语笑话：那可真是大的吓人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender put a big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What,s this?" asked the tourist.
“这是什么呢?，’观光客问道。
"Why, it,s a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。”
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.
“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom
他问哪里有洗手间，
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告诉他下楼后右转，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但观光客却向左转，跌落在酒店的 游泳 池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保听到水声跑出去看个究竟，
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don,t flush the toilet ! "
刚把头伸进门就听到观光客大叫，“不要按动马桶冲水哟!
经典英语笑话：不费吹灰之力
There were four passengers in the small aircraftas it sputtered over the Andes; a businessman, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.
一架正飞越安第斯山脉的小飞机上坐着四名乘客：一名商人，一名发明家，一位神父和一个靠预算过日子、看起来懒懒散散的旅行者。
Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane is going down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "
突然，驾驶员走进舱告诉他们可怕的消息：“各位先生，这架飞机正失控下降中，我要设法迫降，但你们必须先跳下飞机。”
Naturally, the men were horrified。and even more so when they discovered that there were only three parachutes.
当然，那几个人都吓得目瞪口呆，尤其是当他们发现只有三个降落伞可以使用时，更是心惊胆战。
The businessman said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on a parachute and leaped.
那名商人说道：“各位先生，我雇用好几千名员工，他们都要靠我养家活口，我想你们都同意我必须活着回去。”说着他便穿上一具降落伞跳出飞机去。
The inventor rose, already adjusting the straps. "I'm the smartest man in the world. My inventions have transformed the lives of millions. There’s no telling how much good I may yet do. Goodbye. " And he, too, jumped from the plane.
接着发明家站了起来，调整了肩带说道：“我是世界上最聪明的人，我的发明改变了成千上万人的生活。我还会对大众造多少福难以估计。再见了，各位!”他也跟着跳出机舱。
The priest was se.rene, and interrupted his prayers to speak to the traveller. "I am a rnan of God, my son; I have no fear of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "
神父心平气和，中断祷告，对旅行者说道：“小伙子，我是信奉上帝的人，我对死并不畏惧，剩下的降落伞你就拿去用，逃命去吧!”
"Hey, it,s cool, Father. There’ re still two parachutes left. The smartest man in tne world just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack. "
“嘿，神父，真是太棒了!我们还有两个降落伞。那个自称世界上最聪明的人背了我的背包跳出去了。”
英语笑话 两个人在在旅行中帐篷被偷
Difference "I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I , 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down." 区 别 “研究生和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。” Too Long The travel editor of a newspaper called, ing she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I I've held a story too long." 太久 一家纸的旅行版编辑打开，说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定，”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是否还健在。每次发现作者已经不在人世了，我才知道我将文章压得太久了。” The Ass and the Grasshopper 驴子与蚱蜢 AN ASS having heard some Grasshoppers crping, was ghly enchanted; and, desiring to possess the same charms of melody, demanded what sort of food they lived on to give them such beautiful voices. They replied, "The dew." The Ass resolved that he would live only upon dew, and in a short time died of hunger. 驴子听见蚱蜢唱歌，被美妙动听的歌声所打动，自己也想能发出同样悦耳动听的声音，便 羡慕地问他们吃些什么，才能发出如此美妙的声音来。哦 顺便一提 我现在学的ABC天卞英语中心的老师要我明白，就是要掌握好英语是轻松的。一定需要个适合的学习空间与闇练口语对象 这取决于外教资质 标准口音才是最好 坚决天天口语学习 1v1家教式辅导才能够有非常.好.的进步效率。课程结束后还要重复温习课程录音音频，好巩固知识点；然后要是真的没有人可以指导的环境，可以到 VOA或爱思拿到课外教材研习 多问多听迅速的语境会进步许多 学习效果是必定快速显着的。蚱蜢答道：“吃露水。”驴子便也只吃露水，没多久就饿死了。·All tngs in their being are good for sometng. · 天生我才必有用 · Difficult circumstances serve as a textbook of life for people. · 困难坎坷是人们的生活教科书 · Failure is the mother of success. -- Thomas Paine · 失败乃成功之母 · For man is man and master of s fate. · 人就是人，是自己命运的主人 · The unexamined life is not worth living. -- Socrates · 混混噩噩的生活不值得过 -- 苏拉底
