笑话哦本文目录一览：
急需个英文笑话，长一些，最好有翻译，没有也无所谓，但一定要搞笑，满意的加分啊~~
I'm Phil, and today we will learn a new story. "".
One morning, a boy named Tony was getting dressed in his
bedroompreparing to go to school. His mother called out
from the living room, "Remember to put on a pair of new
socks!" Tony answered, "Yes, mom,
I will put on a pair of new socks." His mother emphasized, "
I mean that you should wear a new pair of socks every day!"
Tony again answered,"Yes, mom, I will put on a new pair
of socks every day."
A week later, he came out of the bedroom and said to his
mother, "Mom,I cannot get my feet into my shoes anymore."
每日一袜
早晨，汤尼穿好衣服要上学时，他妈妈从客厅对着卧室跟他说：‘记
得要穿一双新袜子喔！’汤尼说：‘好的，妈咪，我会穿一双新袜子
。’然后他妈妈又说：‘我是说每天要穿一双新袜子喔！’汤尼回
答：‘好的，妈咪，我每天会穿一双新袜子。’一个礼拜以后，他从
卧室走出来跟妈妈说：‘妈咪，我的脚再也塞不进鞋子里了！’
I'm Phil, and today we will learn a new story. "".
Good News and Bad News
The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and
tired. One day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news
and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?"
"The good news!" they all shouted.
"OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving
a complete change of clothing."
"Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers.
"And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you
will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert ....
好消息和坏消息
士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。一天，将军宣布：
“士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？”
“好消息！”他们嚷道。
“好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身
衣服。”
“乌拉！”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。
“现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆
换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”
I'm Phil, and today we will learn a new story. "".
There were two men who went out to eat together.
They ordered fish. So on the table there were two fish.
Normally not all the fish are alike in size, so there
was one small, and one big. The first man just took
the big one for himself without asking and feeling
ashamed, or anything; and ate it. The other friend
felt very disturbed and annoyed, he didn't know what
to say. So he thought for a while, and then he said,
" If it were me," I would have taken the smaller one
first." So the other guy said," See! I knew that!
That's why I took the big one."
我就知道
有两个人一起出去吃饭，结果点了两条鱼，不久之后，
鱼就上桌了，但是通常鱼的大小都不太一样，所以送来
的鱼也是一条大一条小。结果第一个人问也不问，就把
比较大的那条鱼夹起来吃，一点都没有不好意思的样子。
另一个人看了心里很不高兴，但是也不知道该说什么才好。
他想了一会儿，终于开口说：「如果是我的话，我一定
会先拿那条小鱼。」另一个人就接口说：「看吧！我就
知道，所以我刚刚才拿大鱼。」
I'm Phil, and today we will learn a new story. "".
Two women were sitting on a train. It was a long ride so
they started talking about family business and their
family members. And the older of the two women said,
"Oh! My God, it's so terrible to have children. There's so
much to worry about; they always make trouble for you.
My son, he's only 20 years old, but he already smokes
and drinks, and he always changes girlfriends. It's really
terrible. I wish he could be better, but no such luck. I've
been praying every day." She then asked the other
woman, "And how about you? Do you have any children?
How about your son?" So the younger woman said,
"Oh, my son is no problem! He never smokes, he never
drinks and he doesn't have a girlfriend. He doesn't even
utter one word about bad things." So the older woman
said, "Really? Fantastic! You're so blessed. How old is
he?" And the younger woman said, "Five months."
乖小孩
两位女士坐在火车上，因为旅途很长，她们就开始聊起家人和家里
的事。年纪较大的女士说：「天啊！有小孩真是伤脑筋！有那么多
事要操心，还老是惹麻烦给你。我儿子才二十岁，就已经会抽烟、
喝酒，而且一直换女朋友，真是糟透了！我希望他改好一点，他也
不改，只好天天求老天保佑。」接着，她问另外一位女士：「那你
呢？ 有小孩吗？ 儿子怎样？」那位女士回答：「噢！我儿子没问
题，他从不抽烟、不喝酒，也没有女朋友，甚至没讲过什么不好的
话。」那位较年长的女士说：「真的吗？太好了！ 真有福气！你儿
子多大了？」比较年轻的女士回答：「五个月大。」
proper的用法和短语例句
大家认识proper这个单词吗?proper有合适的、正当的和真正的等意思，那么你知道proper的用法吗?相关知识又有哪些呢?下面是我给大家带来的proper的用法和 短语 _proper的用法及例句，以供大家参考，我们一起来看看吧!
▼ 目 录 ▼
★ proper的意 思 ★
★ proper的用 法 ★
★ proper的近 义 词 ★
★ proper的常 用短 语 ★
★ proper的用 法例 句 ★
▼ proper的意思
adj.真正的;合适的;适当的;恰当的;专属于… 的;为…所特有的;原色的;漂亮的;好看的;真的;正常的
adv.满意地;正确地;彻底地;完全地
n.特定季节的礼仪
复数： propers
▼ proper的用法
proper的用法1：proper的基本意思是“适当的,恰当的”,指事物合乎逻辑、惯例或情理; 也可指“正当的,正常的,正确的”, proper作此解时没有比较级和最高级。作“严格意义的,本身的”“真正的”解时,置于所修饰的名词之后。
proper的用法2：proper也可以表示“特有的”“固有的”“专门的”“独特的”,是正式用语,其后常接介词to引起的短语,作表语或后置定语。
proper的用法3：proper还可表示“合乎体统的,正经的,高尚的”,多用于修饰人。
proper的用法4：proper还可表示“本身的”和“严格意义上的”“真正的”,在句中作后置定语。
proper的用法5：proper在口语中还可用来加强语气,表示“完全的”“彻底的”,常用在贬义词或不愉快意义的名词前。proper用于此意时,没有比较级和最高级。
▼ proper的 近义词
adj.
suitableappropriateadequatetypicalbecoming
adv.
totallyentirelycompletelyabsolutelythoroughlystrictlyfully
▼ proper的常用短语
用作形容词 (adj.)
in one's proper person
亲自,亲身
▼ proper的用法例句
1. He denied that he'd failed to keep a proper lookout that night.
他否认当晚守望不力。
2. Catherine demonstrated the proper way to cleanse the face.
凯瑟琳演示了洁面的正确 方法 。
3. Britain imposed fines on airlines which bring in passengers without properpapers.
英国会对运载证件不齐全的乘客进入国内的航空公司课以罚款。
4. We tend to imagine that the Victorians were very prim and proper.
我们倾向于把维多利亚时代的人想象得非常古板、中规中矩。
5. Carol managed a few proper snivels for the sake of appearance.
为了做做样子，卡萝尔适时地抽了几下鼻子。
6. We often neglect to make proper use of our bodies.
我们经常忘记该合理地使用我们的身体。
7. In twenty years of mar-riage he has only taken two proper vacations.
结婚二十年里，他只像样地度过两次假。
8. It's a proper Christmas dinner, with turkey and bread sauce.
这是顿像样的圣诞大餐，有火鸡和牛奶沙司。
9. There were no proper toilets, but only an outdoor latrine.
没有正规的厕所，只有一个位于室外的茅坑。
10. The offender made proper restitution to the victim's kindred.
违法者对受害人亲属给予了适当的补偿。
11. A distinction must be made between archaeology proper and science-based archaeology.
必须区分考古学本身和以科学为基础的考古学。
12. It is right and proper to do this.
这么做很得体。
13. I always cook a proper evening meal.
我总是把晚餐做得很丰盛。
14. You must have felt a proper charlie!
你一定觉得自己是个十足的笨蛋!
15. You can't tell her that joke—she's much too prim and proper .
你可别跟她讲那个笑话，她这个人古板正经得要命。
proper的用法和短语例句相关 文章 ：
★ proper的用法和短语例句
★ terrify的用法和短语例句
★ appearance的用法和短语例句
★ proper的短语有哪些
★ tend的用法和短语例句
★ resist的用法和短语例句
★ power的用和短语例句
★ proper的同义词
★ advocate的用法和短语例句
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要英语笑话!!
Father's Things
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily, "Isn't that one of my ties, Tom?"
"Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom.
"And that shirt's mine too."
"Yes, that's yours too," answered Tom.
"And you're wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard.
"Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You don't want your trousers to fall down, do you?"
父亲的东西
汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候，长得和父亲一样高了，于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时，就开始借父亲的衣服穿。
霍德华先生可不喜欢这样，当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时，总是非常生气。
一天晚上，汤姆下楼准备出去，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细打量着汤姆的穿着。
然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”
汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”
“还有那衬衫也是我的。”
“是的，衬衫也是你的。”汤姆回答说。
“还有呢，你连皮带也用我的。”霍德华先生说。
“是的，父亲，”汤姆回答说，“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧？”
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招
由于生意方面的事，罗宾逊先生得出趟门。因为有点紧急，他决定坐飞机。乘机旅行时，他喜欢靠窗坐，故而一登机，他就寻找一个靠窗的座位。他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着。在那空座位边坐着一名士兵。令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是，这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置。罗宾逊先生不管那些，他马上径直朝那个空座位走去。
然而，等到了那儿，他看见座位上有则启事，是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡，特预设该位置，谢谢合作。”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事。不过，他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品，于是他找了个不靠窗的位置。
又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他们看到那则启事就走开了。当快满座时，一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱。一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事。士兵用这种办法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
I work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
Five Hundred Times 五百遍
In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judge's eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write 'I went through a red light' five hundred times."
在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里，一位年轻女士被带到法官面前，她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释，她是一名学校老师，请求法官马上处理她的案子，以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠，说道：“你是学校的老师，对吗？女士，我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下，写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍。”（这个不错吧，哈哈，刚开始还没完全懂呢）
