笑话哦本文目录一览：
求英语搞笑话剧剧本。（6人，带翻译更高。）
六人的英语搞笑话剧：《 荆珂刺秦王》
旁白（Aside ）/介绍（Introduction）：
Long ago there was a crazy country, in this crazy country there were some crazy people, trying to show the crazy history by crazy ways.
Mr Jingke was the most famous swordsman and was sent to kill king of Qing, “Yingzheng”.But finally he failed. Do you want to know what happened at that time?
很久以前有一个疯狂的国家，在这个疯狂的国家里有一些疯狂的人，试图用疯狂的方式展示疯狂的历史。荆轲先生是最有名的剑客，他被派去杀清王“嬴政”。但最后他失败了。你想知道当时发生了什么吗？
Action I（第一幕）
太子丹（上，掏出镜子梳头，做自恋状）：Mirror, mirror, tell me, who is the most pretty man in the world? （镜子，镜子，告诉我，谁是世界上最漂亮的男人）
（画外音：It's you, Prince Dan! 太子丹高兴状）Thank you mirror! （面对观众）
I'm Prince Dan, the magic mirror said I am the most attractive man in the world.
But Ying Zheng is a jealous guy, I feel he will kill me if mirror told him the truth. So what can I do? Where is my minister?
（我是丹王子，魔镜说我是世界上最有魅力的男人。但是嬴政是个嫉妒心很强的人，我觉得如果镜子告诉他真相，他会杀了我的。那我该怎么办？我的部长在哪里？）
阿三（毕恭毕敬） : Honey, I am coming.（殿下，我来了）
太子丹：I've told you again and again that you should call me: "my most beautiful、graceful 、handsome、charming、cute、smart and dearest Prince Dan."
（我一再告诉你，你应该叫我：“我最美丽、最优雅、最英俊、最迷人、最可爱、最聪明、最亲爱的丹王子。）
阿三：Sure, honey! I have a good idea. We can find a hero to kill YingZheng.（作杀状）
（好的，殿下。我有一个好主意。我们可以找一个人去杀了嬴政）
太子：Oh yeah. What is the most expensive commodity in this century? Talent!（二十一世纪最需要的是什么，人才！然后拍阿三肩膀，做赞许状） Good idea! But who is the right candidate?
阿三：After screening I have two promising persons on hand. One is Miss LiMoChou, the other is Mr JinKe. Tomorrow they will PK for the NO1 killer of the world.
（经过筛选，我手头上有两个有前途的人。一个是李莫愁小姐，另一个是荆轲先生。明天他们将为世界头号杀手PK。）
太子：Well, show me the winner as soon as possible, OK?
（好吧，尽快给我看看赢家，好吗？）
阿三：Yes.（好的。）
Action II（第二幕）
（《十面埋伏》中刘德华金成武决斗时的音乐）
荆轲：Are you Li mochou?（你是李莫愁？）
李莫愁：Yes.（是的。）
荆轲：OK. I'm Jingke, you know, I will let you know I am the king of the killers' world.
（好啊。我是荆轲，你知道，我会让你知道我是杀手世界之王。）
李莫愁：Are you challenging me?（你在挑战我吗？）
荆轲：Off course!（ 耸耸肩表示同意）
李莫愁：Come on!
音乐起，两人冲上前来，“人在江湖漂啊，哪有不挨刀啊，一刀砍死你啊，两刀砍死你啊。”
李莫愁倒地，荆轲大笑。
李莫愁痛苦状：What happened? Why aren't you hurt?
（发生了什么？为什么你不会受伤？）
荆轲: We don't need any reason to win a person. Don't we? Do we? （赢一个人需要理由么,不需要么，需要么?）
李莫愁：Momma always said: "Life is like a box of chocolates, Mochou. You never know what you're gonna get." I got it, Momma is right.
（妈妈总是说：“人生就像一盒巧克力，莫愁。你永远不知道你会得到什么。“我知道了，妈妈是对的。）
荆轲再次大笑
太子丹上（抱拳）：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and you?
太子丹：Oh my God! Could you give me an innovative answer to “How are you？”
荆柯：Sure!
太子丹：How are you?
荆柯：Fine, thank you, and your wife?
太子丹晕倒
荆柯：Hey, man, I’m kidding!
太子丹：Oh, I’m kidding too!（毕恭毕敬）May I have your name card, please?
荆轲从兜里掏出一卷纸,上面写着：To be or not to be, that's a question.
（生存还是毁灭，这是个问题。）
阿三：Hero,we need your help.（好汉，我们需要你的帮助。）
荆柯：I am busy now!（我忙着呢！）
太子丹：You can get a lot of money.（你可以得到很多钱。）
荆柯：I am very busy now!（我现在非常的忙。）
阿三：IC, ID, IQ card?
荆柯：I am very very busy now!（我真的真的非常忙。）
阿三（手指上场的美女,激动状）: Look! She is the most beautiful girl in the world. If you say O.K., she is yours.（你看，那是世界上最美丽的女子，如果你答应了，她就是你的了。）
荆柯（流口水）：I have to say she is a very sexy and beautiful girl, but TCM is my only love!
（我不得不说她是个性感又美丽的女人，但TCM才是我唯一的爱人。）
阿三：What? What's the TCM?
荆柯; Hey, guy! You look so smart but why you didn't know TCM? Any of them can give you the answer.（小子，看你挺聪明却不知道TCM。让我来告诉你吧。）
阿三：Excuse me? What’s the TCM?
观众甲：TCM - Traditional Chinese MM .
太子丹：I must show you the trump card. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Lipton Slimming tea. It is a brand new product of Unilever China.
（我必须给你看王牌。女士们先生们，这是利普顿减肥茶。是联合利华中国的一个全新产品。）
荆柯（激动）：Slimming tea! I have dreamed of it for thousands of times. My wife always threatens to leave me if I couldn't reduce my weight.
（减肥茶！我已经梦想了几千次了。我妻子总是威胁说如果我不能减肥就离开我。）
阿三：You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent? Why are you looking at me? Although your eyes are full of sincerity, I'm very glad, you still have to speak up. Take it! Do you really like? Really?
（你想要什么？如果你愿意，就大声说！你为什么保持沉默？你为什么看着我？虽然你的眼睛充满了诚意，但我很高兴，你还是得大声说。拿着它！你真的喜欢吗？真的？）
荆柯(诚恳状) Just tell me what should I do? I will do anything for you.
（告诉我该怎么办？我愿意为你做任何事。）
太子丹与阿三（撞胯，击掌）：Yeah!
全剧终
拍英语话剧的注意事项
1、首先，组员要熟悉理解剧本，能够充分理解剧本的内容，然后进行表情和细节性的标注，这样会有助于现场的拍摄，同样进行一幕一幕的划分，这样不会使组员太过紧张忘词。
2、其次就是准备道具，一定要全，老师会很在意我们在细节方面的用心程度，倘若我们精心地准备了道具的话，会给老师留下一个不错的印象，很容易得高分。
3、然后就是角色的分配，一定要合理，要根据人们在现实生活中的性格进行分配，这样有助于增加话剧的真实性，从而更生动，同时也要考虑到不同组员的英语水，要考虑周全。
4、然后最最最重要的便是背台词，一定要理解，切记，当我们感觉一句话念不通的时候，可以用简单句进行改写，便于背诵也便于理解，不一定一字不差的照着剧本背，这样也违背了我们学英语的初衷。
5、然后便是拍摄，注意的是情感的投入尤其是表情，还有就是拍摄的角度一定要合理，符合当时情景。进行一幕一幕地拍摄，中途有适当的休息。然后就是尽量多个角度进行切镜头，这样效果会好很多。
6、然后就是后期制作，这一点尤为重要，主要分为四部分，一、片头和片尾的制作，二、视频的剪辑，三、片头和片尾音乐的挑选，四、字幕的制作。
6人英语话剧剧本励志
你是不是在找英语剧本呢？下面是我给大家整理的6人英语话剧剧本励志，供大家参阅!
6人英语话剧剧本励志：《逃课》
Skipping Class
Cast
Anita: Never understands why students like to skip classes
Kevin: Treats “skipping classes” as the principle of university life
Ken: Eager to skip classes but dares not to do it
Jason: Always commits himself not to skip classes
Steven: Always gives himself a good excuse for skipping class
Rita: A professional class skipper
Scene I
(Anita, Kevin, Ken, Jason, Steven, and Rita are all Tunghai University students. They are good friends. One day, Ken and Jason meet on the way to the classroom.)
Ken: Why are you late? And, you just missed the last class. The teacher gave us the main topics for the mid-term examination.
Jason: Oh, shoot! I just missed it. Would you lend me your notes so I can make a copy?
Ken: Sure if you give me a good reason why you missed the class. You promised me that you would be in class on time today.
Jason: Believe me, I would like to keep my word. The problem is that I have the “Business Management” test today and I was up studying for it till three o’clock this morning. Then I fell asleep and woke up at ten o’clock this morning.
Ken: You studied until three o’clock this morning? Why? What did you do yesterday afternoon? I know you were free from four o’clock on yesterday.
Jason: Well, I met one of my very old friends on line and we just talked too long…
Ken: For God’s sake! Don’t you care about next week’s mid-term examination?
Scene II
(Anita, Steven and Kevin are talking to one another in front of a classroom. And, Anita is trying to prevent Steven and Kevin from cutting the next class.)
Anita: Hey, we’ll have the “Business Management” class in a few minutes. Where are you going? Don’t tell me that you are going to argue with Jason.
Steven: I will do anything for my good friend. Of course I am going to argue with the guy who gave my good friend a hard time.
Anita: You always like to get involved in someone else’s business. You’ll get yourself in trouble. Don’t you know it? ...
Kevin: Anita, don’t be upset with him. He will not listen to you. Just leave him alone. By the way, I am still waiting for your decision. Are you coming with me to the concert tomorrow?
Anita: Oh, I am sorry that I almost forgot it. What time tomorrow?
Kevin: Two o’clock. I cannot wait to see my adorable superstar – Jolin. Oh, how wonderful!
Anita: wait a minute. We have Calculus class tomorrow afternoon. Are you out of your mind?
Kevin: Well, I’m not. Yet I think we can just copy the notes from someone else.
Anita: No, this is a very important class. And you would never understand it without listening to the lecture.
Kevin: To me it makes no difference. Even if I were in the class I would never understand what the teacher is talking about. Besides, who likes to look at the old baldhead?
Scene III
(After Calculus class, Anita is on the way to the ST building. At the same time, Rita is walking to the ST building from the dorm. They meet in front of the laboratory.)
Rita: Here I am. Look, I did what I promised. I am a good girl, not skipping classes.
Anita: What are you talking about? This is the 5th class. You skipped the first four classes this morning. Yesterday you promised that you would not skip any class.
Rita: Did I? We don’t have any class in the morning but we’re packed in the afternoon on Wednesdays.
Anita: I beg your pardon? Today is Thursday and we have classes the whole day. Besides, didn’t you meet us this morning while we were going out to class?
Rita: I thought you were going to the library.
Anita: You are loopy now because you’ve skipped too, too many classes.
Rita: Why did you say so? I know that we will have the Computer Program test tomorrow.
Anita: You are incurable. The test was this morning!
Scene IV
(Ken and Rita are talking to each other. They are talking about how to skip a class. )
Ken: I wonder why your Calculus professor never takes attendance. Yet, every time I skipped class, my professor always knew I was absent. I think I am really unlucky.
Rita: well, you’ll appreciate what I’m going to tell you now, my three very good suggestions.
Ken: What are they?
Rita: Now lend me your ears – First of all, whether you skip the class or not, you’ll never pass the course.
Ken: How do you know that I will not pass?
Rita: Calculus is extremely difficult. I don’t believe you can pass it.
Ken: Maybe you are right. What else?
Rita: Before you skip the class you should treat everyone nicely. And after that, you should try to flatter your professor.
Ken: Why?
Rita: Well if you treat the classmates nicely, they will help you sign your name on the attendance sheet. And if you flatter your professor properly, you may ask the professor to pass you. Lastly – To skip the classes successfully you cannot skip too many classes or too few.
Ken: What do you mean? Not too many and not too few?
Rita: You need good weather for skipping classes so you can go out to fool around. And then you need good timing so you can go to the newly opened internet café that is on discount. Finally you need good relationships with the classmates so they can cover it up for you.
Ken: You are a genius.
Rita: I am just very professional.
Ken: I see now. I will try sometimes. Hah, Hah, Hah!!!
Scene V
(Ken meets Kevin at the parking lot.)
Kevin: It’s time for the English class. Why are you here?
Ken: I don’t want to go to English class. I want to cut the class.
Kevin: Why?
Ken: Because someone told me cutting classes can be fun.
Kevin: That’s right. I will show you how much fun it is to cut classes.
Ken: Ok. Let’s go.
(Kevin and Ken cut the class and go out to have fun with girls. And both of them will fail the English class. Therefore next semester they will see Jean, their English teacher, again.)
6人英语话剧剧本励志：礼物
The Gifts
Mon.：Tomorrow will be Christmas. But Della feels very sad. Because she has no money to buy a present for her husband , Jim . She has only one dollar and eighty-seven cents . They have only 20 dollars a week, it doesn’t leave much for saving.
In fact, Della and Jim have two possessions in which they both take very great pride. One is Jim’s gold watch, which has been his father’s and his grandfather’s. The other is Della’s long beautiful hair.
D: Life is so hard for me. Though I saved the money for many months , I still have only one dollar and eighty seven cents.
D: I---- I---- I have to have my hair cut and sold it . In that way I can get some money and I can buy a beautiful present for Jim.
(At the shop—“Madame Sofronie. We Buy Hair Goods of All Kinds”)
D: Will you buy my hair?
M: Yes, I buy all kinds of hair. Sit down, please. Take your hat off and let me have a look. Oh, very beautiful. Very good! Twenty dollars , OK?
D: All right. But please give it to me quickly.
M: Here you are. Twenty dollars.
D: Thank you. Bye.
M: Bye.
Mon.：Della spent two hours in the streets. Then she stopped at a Gold Shop and bought a gold watch chain. Now ,Della is at home.
D: Oh, what a beautiful gold watch chain. I think it must match Jim's watch. When he sees it he must be very happy .
(Suddenly the door opened and in came Jim . )
J: You-----?
D: Jim. Don’t look at me that way. I had my hair cut off and sold it because I couldn’t have lived through Christmas without giving you a present. Jim, it will grow quickly. You don’t mind, do you ? I just had to do it. My hair grows very fast, you know. Say “Merry Christmas!” Jim, and let’s be happy.
J: You’ve cut off your hair?
D: I’ve cut it off and sold it. It’s sold. I tell you -sold and gone, too. It’s Christmas Eve , Jim. Be good to me, for it went for you.
J: Well , Della. Don’t make any mistake about me. I don’t think there’s anything about a hair cut that could make me love you any less. I know, it went for me. Look at this package .
D: What ?
J: Look at it yourself. You 'll see.
D:Ah! The combs. They were in the shop windows for many months!
J:Yes, the beautiful combs, pure tortoiseshell, with jewelry rims--just the color to wear in your beautiful, hair.
D: But , Jim. They are expensive combs. I know, my heart had longed for them without the least hope of possession. Now they are mine. Thank you Jim.
J; Now, you will see why I was upset at first.
D: Jim, you don’t know what a nice –what a beautiful , nice gift I’ve got for you. Can you guess?
J: I'm sorry. I won't guess.
D: Look. A gold watch chain. Isn’t it lovely ,Jim? I hunted all over the town to find it. You’ll have to look at the time a hundred times a day now. Give me your watch. I want to see how it looks on it .
J: Della, Let’s put our Christmas gifts away and keep them a while. They’re too nice to use just at present. I sold the watch to get the money. And I bought the combs. Now, Let’s have our supper.
6人英语话剧剧本励志：阿甘正传的片断
FORREST (voice-over) That Momma, she sure was right.
It's funny how things work out.
EXT. BAYOU LA BATRE/BUBBA'S MOM'S HOUSE - DAY
Forrest walks up to a shack on the edge of the Bayou. A group of black kids play in the front yard.
FORREST (voice-over)
I didn't stay home for long, because I'd made a
promise to Bubba. And I always try to keep my promise.
So I went on down to Bayou La Batre to meet Bubba's
family and make their introduction.
Bubba's mother named MRS. BLUE and her other children look at Forrest.
MRS. BLUE Are you crazy, or just plain stupid?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, Mrs. Blue.
MRS. BLUE I guess.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE - DAY
Forrest steps over to Bubba's tombstone.
FORREST (voice-over)
And of course, I paid my respect to Bubba himself.
FORREST Hey, Bubba, it's me, Forrest Gump. I remember
everything you said, and I got it all figured out.
Forrest pulls out notes from his pocket.
FORREST I'm taking the twenty-four thousand, five hundred
and six-two dollars and forty-seven cents that I got...
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest walks across a yard where men are cleaning shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
... well, that's left after a new hair cut and a
new suit and I took Momma out to real fancy dinner
and I bought a bus ticket and three Doctor Peppers.
Forrest walks along a wooden pier. Forrest pays an old black shrimper a large wad of cash.
OLD SHRIMPER Tell me something. Are you stupid or something?
FORREST Stupid is as stupid does, sir.
EXT. BUBBA'S GRAVE
Forrest stands at the grave.
FORREST Well, that's what's left after me saying, "When I was
in China on the All-America Ping-Pong Team, I just
loved playing ping-pong with my Flex-O-Ping-Pong Paddle."
Which everybody knows it isn't true, but Momma says
it's just a little white lie so it wouldn't hurt nobody.
So, anyway, I'm putting all that on gas, ropes and new
nets and a brand-new shrimpin' boat.
EXT. BAYOU - DAY
Forrest steers his shrimping boat. The boat is old and rusty. Forrest unleashes his nets as his catch of the day drops to the deck. It is a bunch of garbage and shells. Forrest picks up one shrimp.
FORREST (voice-over)
Now, Bubba had told me everything he knows about shrimpin',
but you know what I found out? Shrimpin' is tough.
EXT. DOCKS
Forrest pulls a couple of shrimp out of a bucket.
FORREST I only caught five.
OLD SHRIMPER A couple of more, you can have yourself a cocktail.
The old shrimper begins to walk away, then stops and looks at Forrest.
OLD SHRIMPER Hey, you ever think about namin' this old boat?
FORREST (voice-over) I'd never named a boat before,
but there was only one I could think of.
Forrest paints a name on the side of his boat. The name is "Jenny."
FORREST (voice-over)
The most beautiful name in the wide world.
搞笑英语话剧剧本
我们班刚演过 ，获得了系里一等奖(孔雀东南飞 英语搞笑剧本) 虽然人物多了一个，可以有群众演员嘛
焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)
刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)
焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)
刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)
太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)
强盗burglars(abandc)
prologue 序幕
(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)
j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my
wife is wusong.
译：人人都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。
(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!
译：我才不怕你呢！
(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is braver than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！
(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)
my god! who can help me?(下)
译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？
act1 第一幕
(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)
jm(拄拐棍上):i can!
(对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you?
l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum?
jm:i have told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.
l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
jm:since you married my son you have be havedso badly.you have been so rude, so brusque,so
lazy……
l:but……
jm:never interrupt me!
l:never interrupt me! since i married your son, that terrible johnny,i have been working hard all
daylong,cooking and washing. i have raised tens of thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken
and……
jm:but all those you have done arenot asvaluable as a grandson!
l(生气地挥动着锅铲):oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)go and ask your son. i’m leaving!(扯下围裙,扔在jm的脸上,下)
act2
(lm坐在台上打毛线,l拿着锅铲上)
l:mum, i’m back!
lm:you are back?why?what happened?
l:i was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
lm(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):see! i have already told you! when you insisted on
marrying that terrible johnny, i told you that he is ugly tupid and poor, but you did not listen
to me. look at yourself……
l:but,mum……
lm:never interrupt me!
l:mum,i’m not interrupting you. i just want to tell you that you are always right ok? and
i’ll marry whomever you want me to.
lm(大喜):nice girl! just now, i met the mayor’s son in the market.he said:“if your daughter
haven’t been married,i really really want to marry her!”now you are free again, i ’ll go
and tell him.(下)
l(惊愕):what? the mayor’s son?the most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood? (手中的锅
铲掉在地上)what a silly thing i have done!(下)
act3
(j睡眼惺忪上)
j(边走边道):lunch! lunch! where are mysocks?
(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)here they are!(闻一下) er! how smelly! they are still dirty!
(突然想起)lunch has gone! i have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)oh,i’m so hungry! but there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围
裙)this is what lunch always wears! i miss her so much, and her excellent cooking skill! now
she has gone.i have to cook for my mother and myself.
jm(上):where’s my breakfast? where’slunch?hasn’t she got up yet?
j:mum, can’t you remember?lunch has gone!
jm(沉吟片刻):well, to tell you the truth johnny, a son without a wife is suseless. lunch is an ice
girl,go and take her back!
j(立正敬礼):yes madam!
act4
(j开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)
a:hey you!stop and listen to us!
the road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)
b:and i planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)
c:if you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了a的脚)
abc:give us all your money!
j(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):is 1mao enough?
(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)
a:what bad luck! this guy is broken!
b:if we cannot robany money today,we will havenot thing to eat tonight!
c:i heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry miss liulanzhi next month.we can go and
rob the wedding!
ab:good idea!
j(惊讶):what? what? lunch is going to get married? it’s impossible!
abc:why? a pretty girl and a richman,what a good couple!
j:but lunch is my wife! we haven’t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)i’ve got an idea!you are going to rob the wedding, don’tyou? i’ll go
with you. you take the money and i take the bride.
b:have you got any experience?
j:no. but i’ve got this!(j脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)
act5
(转眼已到了婚礼之期．ms意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，j盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)
(j和三强盗跃至台中)
abcj:hey you! stop and listen to us!
a:the road is built by me!
b:and i planted one tree.
c:if you want to go by this street---
j:give us all your money!
(l听到j的声音，掀起了盖头)
l(惊喜万分):johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到j的身边并躲到了的身后)
(ms大怒，挥拳向j打来．j矮身一躲，ms打中了j身后的l，l晕倒)
j(火冒三丈):how dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向ms冲去）
(j与ms混战，jm上，以拐杖击晕ms)
(j将ms胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)
j(扶起l，关切地问):honey, how are you?
l(哭状):i hurt a lot!
j:don’t cry baby.i’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
l(起身去追):wait for me! (跑下)
英语话剧,附带中文.要励志一点的.
守株待兔（英语短剧） 剧本
你可以自己调节角色~
（因为是搞笑,所以不必太拘谨.普通台词意思对即可.）
旁白：Today we will have a role play named “to stand by a tree stump waiting for a hare”. I’m the voice-over. They are the rabbits. She is the farmer and she is the tree. [begin]
[Chapter 1]
旁白：Now we are in a village. It is a warm morning. There is a farmer living in this village. Look! Here comes him. Isn’t he modern?
[开始.树上台安静地屹立到舞台较后方.]
[农夫冷酷地上.]
农夫：I’m a farmer.（稍停顿）[走两步]A modern farmer.（掏出墨镜戴上）
[冷酷地走两步,突然被绊了一跤,回头生气地踢了下绊自己的石头,继续保持冷酷]When I was young, I studied in Shuren International School![掏出胸卡骄傲地展示给观众看,收起]
So I’m rich now![开始展示名牌,边说边掏]Look!
This is my modern mobile——Motorola WC 250!This is my Swatch! This my MP5!This is my shoes——ADI~DAS!
This is… [不经意地掏出一个苹果]Oh, sorry. And look at this![从怀里掏出痒痒挠]
Do U know what’s this? A rabble? No no no~~It’s my modern —— hoe~![看下表]It’s time to do some farming![开始弯下腰做出锄地的动作,锄了两下,突然] Oh yes! I think farming should be combined with music![掏出MP3戴上,开始很有激情地边锄地边唱]
Farming farming, I’m farming! Farming should be combined with music~! Farming farming, I’m farming! Farming will be funny and easy~![边唱边锄边慢慢下台,把没用的道具拿走,把有用的道具准备在口袋里] [树走上前台]
[Chapter 2]
旁白：Oh~ What a funny farmer he is! And what about this tree? Is she crazy too?
树：I’m a tree! I can do many things! I can sing![做出疯狂摇滚歌手的动作,边做边唱：哼哼哈西!]
I can dance![跳四小天鹅]I’m tall! And I’m Strong! If you hit me, you will die!
Oh? There comes a rabbit! [引导观众看兔子A.树站回后台]
[兔子A上]
兔子A（一开始不知道状况.以为自己扮演周杰伦,所以很热情地上场跟观众打招呼）：Hey everybody, I’m Jay! I love U!I love Nanjing![展示新专辑《十一月的肖邦》]Now let me sing one of my new songs to U!The name of the song is 《BLABLA~~》![清清嗓子正要唱,这时候导演（旁白）上]
导演（旁白）：[微笑着]Hello! I’m the film director. [拿手中纸筒狠狠打了下兔子A的头]What are U doing?! Now U are a rabbit, understand?![兔子A：Sorry sorry sorry]
[导演边说边夺过《十一月的肖邦》.导演下台之前,看了下《十》] What’s this?[看了看,惊喜地]Oh! It’s mine!（很兴奋地拿着下场）
旁白：Now she is a rabbit. What will she do?
兔子A：OK, now I’m a rabbit. I just had my breakfast. Now I’m just walking around here. I think walking after meals is good for my health. [在场上转圈,悠闲散步]
[农夫继续锄地,边锄边上场,突然看见前面有个兔子]
旁白: Suddenly, the farmer sees the rabbit…
农夫：（惊喜地）Lunch![扔掉痒痒挠]I will catch it! [偷偷摸摸地跟到兔子后面走]
旁白：But …How can he catch the rabbit? With the gun?
[农夫跟在兔子后面.两个人走啊走.兔子突然回头.农夫假装看手表.两人继续走.兔子回头.农夫假装看天气.两人继续走.兔子回头.农夫假装打手机.两人继续走,兔子回头.这次农夫冷酷地把枪口对准了兔子.]
兔子A：Wahhhh~!（吓一跳）What’s this!
农夫：Hnnnn…!I will kill U for lunch!
兔子A：But your gun… [帮农夫把枪头调转过来（农夫一开始把枪对着自己）]
农夫：Thank you!
兔子A：My pleasure. （突然想起来农夫要杀自己） Wah~~~~~~ [兔子跑,躲到树后面,农夫追到树前]
农夫：Where~ to go? Haha!
[农夫开了一枪“砰”.兔子在树后惊慌躲闪,没被打到.树做出受伤中弹状. 农夫又开枪,同上.农夫开始加快频率,火力密集地开枪.（旁白：当当当当——|拟枪声|）兔子开始时惊慌躲闪,躲着躲着跳起舞来.树（树：Oh, my god ! ）继续痛苦中弹状.]
兔子A[自我陶醉中,边跳边说]You didn’t hurt me! You didn’t hurt me!
树：[痛苦万分地]But…U…Hurt me….[痛苦地慢慢挪动到兔子背后]
[兔子继续兴奋地跳舞.农夫停止开枪,走到兔子面前,看着它. 兔子猛然抬头发现]
农夫：Ah ha~! Bye bye ! [举枪对准兔子,开枪,没声音,看看枪,示意没子弹了.兔子见状,非常兴奋地大笑起来]
兔子A：Ha ha ha ha! You can’t kill me now! [兴奋大笑,笑到抽筋,笑到后仰.突然头撞倒了后面的树] Wa ![兔子晕两下~~ “我倒!” 倒地]
农夫：OH! [很兴奋地过去两个手指提起兔子]My lunch , I caught you ! [想一下]
But I’m still full now.Let me tie it to the tree and have a sleep.I will eat it after sleeping.[把兔子绑到树上.倒地睡到树旁边]
[Chapter 3]
……
旁白：Look! The farmer is sleeping! And the rabbit was knocked down, so he is also sleeping now… Oh, no, no! The rabbit is awake! How is it going on then?
兔子A：[兔子很快醒了,看看四周,发现自己被绑了,很惊讶]Where am I? What happened?
树：[指着农夫]He caught you and wanted to eat you.
兔子A：What?! I must leave here! But how can I escape?[东张西望,看到农夫的手机]
[兔子不知不觉地把树杈移开,走到手机前看了看]咦?What’s this?[捡起来看]Oh,a mobile.[再看]It’s beautiful.[放回原处.又自觉地把自己绑在树上.突然想起来]A mobile!Maybe I can call someone to help me! [又不知不觉地把自己放出来,拿起手机] But how to use it?
旁白：I don’t know how to do… Who can tell him how to use it?!
树：[走上前]Let me tell U. Look, press this button![给兔子]
兔子A：Oh I see. [做出打电话的样子] Hello?
李咏（旁白）：[上台,激情澎湃地] Hello!This is lucky fifty-two![做出幸运52的手势]I’m Liyong!Now let’s start our first question!What’s the most probable relation between 康熙 and 雍正?
A. Husband and wife B.Teacher and student C.Waiter and costomer Answer me,please!
兔子A：（很冷漠地）Sorry, wrong number.[挂掉]
李咏（旁白）:Answer me! Answer me! En..? Hello?Hi, Hi?[很郁闷地下台]
兔子A：Now let me call again. [拨打] Hello?
兔子B：Hello.
兔子A：Hey Jackey!
兔子B：Hey tommy!
兔子A：How are you doing?
兔子B：Fine, thank you. And U?
兔子A：I’m fine too! How are your parents doing?
兔子B：They are fine, thank you. And U?
兔子A：They are fine, too! How is your uncle doing?
兔子B：He’s fine, thank you! And U?
兔子A：He’s fine , too!
兔子B：But why do you call me? If you want borrow some money from me…NO WAY!
兔子A：No no no! I’m in danger now! Come and help me!
兔子B：But where are you?
兔子A：I’m under a tree!
兔子B：[边打电话边在附近走,经过兔子A面前,两个人还没发现]What can you see around you?
兔子A：I see a rabbit , rather like you!
兔子B：A rabbit…rather like me… OK! I’ll soon come! Wait for me! I will help you! [匆匆离开]
旁白：[摇摇头]How lovely and funny they are !
兔子A 打完电话,小心翼翼地把手机放回农夫处,还很有礼貌地说了句“Thank you.” 然后又很自觉地把自己绑回了树上]
兔子A：Hahaha! My friend will come and save me, yeah! [兴奋过度,后仰,头又撞倒树上,昏眩中…“我晕!” 又晕了]
旁白：Look, the rabbit’s friend comes here. How will he save his friend?
[兔子B上]兔子B：I’m also a rabbit!I’m clever! I’m brave ! And I’m strong! [展示肌肉] OH!My friend is here! Let me help him out! [费力地想把树枝（双臂）挪开,使了几次劲,还是不行] It’s too tight! I must think of a good way! [看到农夫扔掉的痒痒挠] Let’s see,what’s this!A hoe![装作打高尔夫球,试了试锄头手感]Oh,it’s nice.[走到树面前,正要砍.旁白：What a poor tree it is!]
树：Stop!What will you do?
兔子B：I will cut you down to save my friend.
树：O. [突然醒悟] What?! Cut me down?! Teachers told us that we should protect the environment! Understand?!
兔子B：Oh yes!You are right! [扔掉锄头] I have to think of another idea! [想了想] Oh![灵感突来][看了看手表] Oh it’s time to do morning exercise !Come on! [开始带头做早操.做着做着对树说“Follow me!” （企图让树动起来,两只手松开,这样就可以救出兔子A）树也开始跟着做起早操. 兔子B轻轻上前,想救出兔子A.但是树的广播操动作恰好都是会挡住营救的.兔子B狂汗… -_-b 广播操毕.树继续绑着兔子A]
兔子B：Why?! Maybe I need another idea. Oh! I’ve got it!Music! [音响放起泰坦尼克号主题曲高潮前奏（旁白）. 兔子B抱住树,企图引导树像女主角一样张开双臂,放出兔子A.树渐渐陶醉,手缓缓松开.兔子B正要搭救同伴,突然兔子A两只手张开,成了女主角动作.树又抱住了兔子A的腰,成了男主角动作.树和A陶醉其中.B要唤醒A：“Wake up! Wake up!”
兔子A沉醉其中,完全不理它,还用脚踹走要救它的B：“Don’t disturb me!”继续陶醉.]
兔子B：（无奈ing…）Stop!（音乐停） （沮丧）I can’t save my friend…[掏出纸巾想要擦汗,带出10块钱,掉在地上]
树：Money![一个箭步冲上去捡起钱,回到原位并且对着太阳验钞.]
兔子A：[看四周] I’m free! Oh yes, I’m free! Thank you, Jackey! [慢动作深情扑向兔子B] Jackey~~~~ [突然兔子B低头系鞋带.兔子A控制不住一下子撞在树上,晕两下说：“暴头!”死翘.] [兔子B见状冲上去,深情地搂住A：“Tommy! Tommy!”[伤心地俯下身子,紧紧抱住A]
[这时睡觉中的农夫突然一个翻身,又把B压在了下面]
兔子B：I…can’t….breath……I’m dying! [也翘了]
[Chapter 4]
旁白：The rabbit B not only can’t save his friend, but also was suppressed by the farmer… Oh, the farmer is awake now!
农夫：[农夫这时候醒了.擦了下口水,看见两只兔子] En..?Two rabbits! I remember I have caught just one?! Oh, maybe I drank too much. [兴奋地一手提一只兔子,哼着小曲下场]
树：[还在验钞的树正高兴,突然发现是假钞]Ah!There’s something wrong with the note, It’s a fake!Wait for me![追下去]
旁白：Since that day, the farmer always sleeps behind this tree whole day to get more rabbits to eat. But he never catches one rabbit any more. Now it is the end of this play. We want to use this role play to show you that you can’t reap without sowing, you must work hard to get your own harvest. Thank you for your watching!
求六人英语搞笑短剧,3-5分钟,感激不尽!
英语幽默短剧剧本The Pocket Money
Scene1（At Salesman’s home）
N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu …… He is coming!
S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very popular,(展示),I don’t know why. The foolish students always come here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……
Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)
First, put the flour on the table.
Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)
Now press, press……
Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)
Press, press……
Oh, my god!Never mind! Just do it!
Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……
Now let me cut it into pieces!
另一个
白雪公主与七个小矮人 Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs 英文短剧本
旁白：Once upon a time, there was a queen. She had a pretty daughter named Snow White. Soon after the child was born, the queen died. The queen married another queen. The stepmother was very jealous. She dressed Snow White in rags and forced her to do the housework all day and all night, such as sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.
白雪：( Sweep and mop the floor, do some cleaning, carry water and so on.)
皇后：I’m the new queen. I’m very beautiful. you see. If anyone is more beautiful than me, I’ll kill her. I have a magic mirror. If I want to know something, It will tell me surely.Now, mirror, mirror, come here!
魔镜：Yes, I’m coming. Your Majesty! What do you want to know?
皇后：Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Who is the fairest of the all?
魔镜：Yes. Your Majesty! You are the fairest of all, I think.But there is a young lady. She is as white as snow, as red as rose and as black as ebony.She is much more beautiful than you.
皇后：She is much more beautiful than me?Who is she? Tell me quickly.
AprilFool'sDay
N: Many years ago, on April 1, a body had birth. His father called him "foolman", nobody like him except his mother. How time flies!
F: Mum, I'm eithteen years old, so I will leave this family.
Mum: All right, but please see me at times. This is a bottle of drink, a piece of dry bread. Remember: take good care of yourself, bye!
N: He came to a forest, and met an ugly man.
U: Hello! I'm very hungry and thirsty, could you give me something to drink and eat, please?
F: Ok, here.
U: Oh, thanks very much! Now, I will go. Oh, this stick is for you, it will bring luck to you. Good luck!
N: The foolman reached a restaurant, the boss had two daughters, they found the stick very brightly.
D1: Oh, how beautiful it is! I want it, it's great! （上前抓木棒,却被粘在上面） Oh! Dear! I can't leave it! （吃惊地）
D2: Sister, what are you doing there? Do you want this stick yourself? No, I will get a part of it! We are parent's daughters, I must get a part of it like you! （走向木棒）
D1: Don't come! Don't come! It's dangerous!
D2: You can come, so I can come, too! （也被粘在木棒上） Oh, my god! What's wrong with me?
D1: What a pity!
N: Foolman didn't mind at all, after the meal he took the stick leave the restaurant. Of course, two girl followed him. In the field they met an old scientist.
S: Oh! Terrible! You two girls follow a boy. How silly of you! I will take you back home, and take the boy to the police station. （抓stick ,也被粘住） Oh! Bad luck! Terrible!
N: A few days later, they got to a strange country. The king had a daughter, but she never smiled or laughed.
King: Who can make her smile or laugh, she'll be his wife.
F: Let me try , Perhaps I can.
N: Then they went to see her. She saw foolman and his friends laughed and laughed.
k: Ok, you make her laugh, now let us look at your 生辰八字. Which day is your birthday?
F: April 1.转自：
K: Oh! What a great boy! Do you know my country's name? Let me tell you: it called "Fool World"! Very suits you, right?!
N: The result is ——The follman lived happily with his wife until they died. That is why we now have a holiday called : "April Fool".
《臭脚的故事》英语话剧剧本
A Story about Love and Stinky Feet
by Dr. Sofia Chen陈南妤
超级搞笑,哈哈哈
从前,一个巫婆有一双臭脚,人们都很讨厌.所以,她想找一个人换掉她的双脚.
有一天她来到"香国" .她发现,人人都有双香脚.一天王子午睡,巫婆用自己的臭脚换了王子的香脚.
有一位公主,她总是失眠.虽然国王和王后在尝试了很多方法,她还不能睡觉.国王和王后陛下非常担心自己的女儿.
最后,他们就发现了一个方法：每当公主无法入睡,她只需要嗅觉王子的臭脚,然后她将睡得很好.
最后王子和公主很幸福的生活在一起.
人物
Ada: Little girl
Candy: Queen
Evander: King
Evelyn
Joel: Prince
Rita: Singer /Woman
Yilina: Witch
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Summary
Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.
And one day she flied to “Fragrance Country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree. At that time, the witch exchanged her own stinky feet with the prince’s fragrant feet.
There was a princess who couldn’t sleep in “Beauty Country”. Although the king and the queen tried many methods, she still couldn’t sleep. The king and the queen were very worried about their daughter.
And then, they discovered a perfect method for the princess to fall asleep: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, she only had to smell the prince’s stinky feet, and then she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.
SCENE I
(One afternoon, a girl, Ada, is reading a book)
Ada: Oh~ what an interesting story! Once upon a time…A witch had a pair of stinky feet. They smelt worse than stinky tofu. They were very disgusting. So, she wanted to find a person to change her feet.
Ada: And one day she flied to “Fragrance country”. She found everyone there had a pair of fragrant feet. And the prince had the most fragrant pair of feet. The prince took a nap and snored under the tree.
Witch: （screaming and laughing and dancing）I’m the most perfect witch who has both beauty and intelligence. More and more people fall for my…my … feet! Oh no, my feet! I’m such a charming witch, but why do my feet stink so much? Everyone faints when they smell my feet. The smell of my feet can kill mice. Oh, I don’t want to live. I want to fly away!
（Flying to the Fragrance country）
Witch: (Crying) I hate my feet! I hate my feet! (in a low voice) Ha-ha, what’s the smell? It smells so sweet. (Searching) Oh. What a handsome boy. (Come closer and take a deep breath) Oh, oh, oh, why do his feet have such a sweet smell? It’s just not fair! (Angrily) Not fair! Look, he’s sleeping and snoring. Let me exchange my feet with his! (Doing magic and laughing loudly) Oh, my feet. You smell so sweet! Now I’m really the most charming witch. (Fly away)
Prince: (Asleep and dreaming) Oh! What a beautiful girl you are! You are my only one – my dear princess.
Prince: (Wake up!) Oh~ what’s wrong? What a bad smell! The room smells of stinky tofu. Is it my table? My hand? My chair? My head? Or my window? Oh no! It’s my feet. I have a pair of stinky feet. How did it happen? (Hold on to his head.)(Run away) I can’t believe it!
SCENE II
(The prince is walking and sees some crows on the way.)
Prince: Oh~ there are many crows.
Crow A: Please go away…
Crow B: Quickly! It’s full of bad smell here.
Crows: We are going to die, because your feet are too disgusting.
Prince: Oh! I am so sorry…My feet cause you much trouble…Sorry~!
(Prince continues to walk. He sees some flowers.)
Prince: Hum~ I like the perfume of flowers.
Flower A: Oh! I can’t live without fresh air.
Flower B: Keep your feet far away from us, please.
Flowers: Your feet are too disgusting.
Prince: Why does everyone dislike me? I am so sad and I am sorry for making you feel bad.
(Prince continues to walk.)
Prince: What can I do? I want my sweet-smelling feet back.
(Many strangers are buying from vendors on the road.)
Stranger A: Did you step in something? Check your shoes.
Stranger B: Oh! Don’t talk nonsense.
Stranger C: I know where that bad smell comes from. It’s him.
/span
Prince: I can’t believe it! My disgusting feet have magic power!
Queen: Oh! Don’t say that! They are not disgusting at all. Congratulations! You are going to marry my dear daughter.
King: Yes! This is a happy ending.
Ada: Whenever the princess couldn’t sleep, all she had to do was to smell the prince’s stinky feet. And then, she would sleep very well. In the end, the prince and the princess lived happily together.
