笑话哦本文目录一览：
- 1、好笑的英语笑话小短文
- 2、搞笑的英语小笑话
- 3、30秒好笑的英语笑话
- 4、英语幽默短笑话10篇
好笑的英语笑话小短文
民间笑话的根本功能在于引人发笑,在这个使人紧张而倍感压抑的商品经济时代,笑话成了抚慰人焦灼灵魂的一剂良药。下面是我带来的好笑的 英语笑话 小短文，欢迎阅读!
好笑的英语笑话小短文篇一
Fame and hardwork
名声与艰苦劳动
During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag.
海湾战争期间，我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗，她请房子的维修工—一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时，他说，他帮助挂美国国旗，无论如何都不该收钱。
Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph.
珍妮来到当地报杜，就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时，他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章，是她使他成为了名人。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名。
"I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.”
他回答说:“那我可没时间，挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。”
好笑的英语笑话小短文篇二
Home alone
独自在家
My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped.
我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫，随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了，她这才松了口气。
The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!"
第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱，那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。”
好笑的英语笑话小短文篇三
Peter decides the grade
彼得的长相决定了分数
One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.
我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-.
The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous."
那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。”
The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.
第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说:“好，可以得A-。”
好笑的英语笑话小短文篇四
Being considerate
善解人意
I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.
像大多数的青少年一样，我刚学会开车时，总想利用一切开车的机会。有一次家庭外出度假时，我经过请求，爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。我感到十分荣幸，直到开到了一个急转弯，由于转盘转动得太大，车直奔着加油站的 广告 牌冲去。我停下了车，等着挨训。
My father，always considerate of his children's feelings，turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?"
我的父亲总是考虑到孩子哟情绪，转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿，有人想上厕所吗?”
看了“好笑的英语笑话小短文”的人还看了：
1. 英语爆笑短文
2. 超级搞笑英语笑话小短文
3. 经典英语笑话小短文精选
4. 英语版笑话
5. 经典爆笑英文小笑话阅读
搞笑的英语小笑话
搞笑的英语小笑话1：I Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒!”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
搞笑的英语小笑话2：The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
Who's More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
谁更有礼貌?
一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
搞笑的英语小笑话3：Let Dog in Hotel
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”
旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单， 餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。
搞笑的英语小笑话4：Intelligent son
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
聪明的儿子
有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”
“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”
“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”
搞笑的英语小笑话5：Put your feet in
The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle ,and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary !" called the teacher sharply. "Yes,Madam?" questioned the pupil , "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"
把脚放进去
一个女学生坐在座位上，嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里，被老师发现了。“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。“什么事，老师?”这女学生问。“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。”
搞笑的英语小笑话6：I Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒!”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”
“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
搞笑的英语小笑话7：The poor husband
"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.
可怜的丈夫
“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”
搞笑的英语小笑话8：Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父亲在哪儿?
兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。
“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”
哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”
整理：zhl201612
30秒好笑的英语笑话
作为一种独特的娱乐方式，笑话能够帮助人们减轻压力、放松心情、缓解疲劳，有利于身体健康。我整理了30秒好笑的 英语笑话 ，欢迎阅读!
30秒好笑的英语笑话篇一
When a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher. "I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I've forgotten it . What can that mean?""It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake," the teacher explained.
一名学生在班上没有做出老师的教学题，他感到很遗憾，对老师解释说：“我记得昨天夜里做梦对这道题解对了，但现在一时想不起来了。这说明什么?”“这说明你做梦的时候比你醒着的时候更聪明”。老师解释说。
30秒好笑的英语笑话篇二
A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked(不及格，失败) all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."
校园里流传着这样的 故事 ：一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报，上面写着：“妈妈，我所有功课都不及格，被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”两天以后，他收到了回电：“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”
30秒好笑的英语笑话篇三
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
30秒好笑的英语笑话篇四
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿?
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
30秒好笑的英语笑话篇五
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked if this was it. God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live." Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face lift, lip-suction, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, etc. She even had someone come in and change her hair color, figuring since she had so much more time to live, she might as well make the most of it. She got out of the hospital after the last operation and while crossing the street was killed by an ambulance speeding to the hospital. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 Years? "God replied, "I didn't recognize you."
一名中年妇女心脏病突发被送到了医院， 在手术台上，濒临死亡之际，她看到了上帝， 于是，她问上帝是不是她的日子到头了。 上帝回答说，“还没有，你还能活43年，2个月零8天。” 身体快要康复的时候，这名女士想到自己还要活那么多年，得好好对待自己，于是决定先不出院，而是去给自己整整容，吸吸脂，隆隆胸，然后还做了一个腹部拉皮和 其它 一些美容美体手术。 她甚至还请人到医院里面帮她头发给染了。 做完最后一个手术，这位女士出院了， 但就在过马路的时候，她被一辆风驰电挚赶回医院的救护车给撞死了。 再一次，她又站到了上帝的面前，她大惑不解地问上帝，“我记得你说我还能再活40年?” 上帝回答，“那个时候我没认出你来”。
英语幽默短笑话10篇
在繁忙的学习工作中，适时读一些幽默笑话，放松自己，劳逸结合十分重要。下面是我整理的10个英语幽默短笑话，希望大家喜欢!
英语幽默短笑话1.
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
英语幽默短笑话2.
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
英语幽默短笑话3.
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
英语幽默短笑话4.
I've Just Bitten My Tongue
"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.
"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"
"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "
我刚咬破自己的舌头
“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。
“是的，亲爱的，”她回答说，“你问这个干什么?”
“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”
英语幽默短笑话5.
It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"
上下班高峰期，我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口，一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来，没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚，仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她，她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下，对我挤了一下眉，说道：“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”
英语幽默短笑话6.
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语幽默短笑话7.
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语幽默短笑话8.
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登 广告 啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语幽默短笑话9.
—Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
-- 服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语幽默短笑话10.
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，
千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
英语幽默短笑话10篇相关 文章 ：
1. 英语搞笑笑话10篇
2. 爆笑英语冷笑话10篇
3. 最搞笑的英语小笑话十则
4. 10个英语幽默短笑话
5. 英语幽默笑话短
