笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

英语笑话初中(简单的英文笑话初中)

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初中英语笑话带翻译60字

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了

汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?

约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?

约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"

"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.

"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.

"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”

“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。

英语笑话初中(简单的英文笑话初中)插图

适合初中生的英语小笑话,简单的,带意思,紧急!!!!

英语笑话(一)

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧?

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物,他肯定会生气的;而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼,他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因为snail(蜗牛)的后背上总是背着一所房子,所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢?

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his sleep)呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了。

英语笑话(二)

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

-- 墓地守墓人。

英语笑话(三)

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说:“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的。”

英语笑话(四)my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人:哦,

亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”

英语笑话(五)Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的吧

-- 服务员,

这个龙虾只有一只爪。

-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。

-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语笑话(六)The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。

答案补充 英语笑话(七)Which woman?

One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.

On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."

My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"

哪一位女人?

一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物,回来后发现车身沾满灰尘,于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊:“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”

我丈夫抬头看了看,说:“妈妈来了?”

初一经典英语笑话大全

笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头故事。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。我分享初一经典英语笑话,希望可以帮助大家!

初一经典英语笑话:There was just a dog fight

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"

"Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"

"Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."

"What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, di *** elievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"

"Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"

初一经典英语笑话:He is a very *** art dog

I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.

"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."

The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."

初一经典英语笑话:This dog is acting bad

While waiting for a bus, the blind man's dog decided to go to the bathroom all over the blind man's legs.

A passerby mented to the blind man, "What! That dog just went to the bathroom all over your legs, and you are petting him?! Are you crazy?"

To which the blind man replied, "Madam, I am not petting him, I am feeling for his bottom, so I can kick him."

初一经典英语笑话:Cat technical support problems

This is an actual account by a worker at a technical support and service center. One particular customer had an old console-type machine with a print head that would ride back and forth on a spiral shaft. They also had a big bushy cat who liked to sit on the edge of the printer next to the operator.

Well, one day we got a service call that said, "Cat caught in machine, e quick!"

When I arrived I saw everyone sitting around mending their various wounds, scratches and contusions. No sight of the cat. It appears that while they were running the machine the cat was twirling his tail in his usual fashion and stuck it down into the printer at the most inopportune time and got sucked in! Apparently, the cat absolutely freaked out and clawed at everyone who came close. They finally freed the cat, and to this day, the cat goes nowhere near the machine.

初一经典英语笑话:This is one *** art dog

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws es pushing through the door.

"An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins.

"You dumb dog." As he reaches down to *** ack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket.

The scribble on the note asks for three pounds of his best mince [ground beef]. The butcher figures this is too easy. He goes to the window and reaches for the dried up stuff that's been sitting out all day.

The dog growls at him. The butcher turns around and, glaring at the pup, gets the best mince from the fridge. Weighing out about 2 1/2 pounds, he drops in on the scale with his thumb.

"Hmmmmm, a bit shy. Who'll know?"

Again, the dog growls menacingly. "Alright, alright," as he throws on a generous half pound. He wraps it out, drops it in the basket, and drops in change from a five. The dog threatens to chew him off at the ankles. Another five goes in the basket.

The butcher is quite impressed and decides to follow the piddy pup home. The dog quickly enters a high-rise buildings, pushes the lift button, enters the lift, and then pushes the button for the 12th floor. The dog walks down the corridor and *** artly bangs the basket on the door. The door opens, and the dog's owner screams at the dog.

"Hey, what are you doing? That's a really *** art dog you've got there," ments the butcher.

"He's a stupid dog--that's the third time this week he's forgotten his key.

初一英语笑话带翻译大全?

从文字的角度来说,冷笑话的文字在内容和结构都不同于传统笑话。下面是我带来的初一英语笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读!

***一***

晚年离婚 Divorce

A hu *** and and wife, both 91, stood before a judge, asking for a divorce. "I don't understand,"He said, "Why do you want a divorce at this time of life?"

有一个丈夫和妻子都是91岁,他们站在法官面前,要求离婚。“我不明白,”法官说,“你们为什么到了这把年纪还要离婚?”

The hu *** and explained, "Well, you see, we wanted to wait until the children died."

丈夫解释道:“嗯,你是知道的,我们想要等到孩子们都死了。”

***二***

当呆瓜牙医遇到恐高症患者

While on vacation in San Francisco, my sister developed a toothache. The hotel desk clerk remended a dentist. Susan, who dislikes heights, was horrified to discover that she was located on the 14th floor of a skyscraper, with two of the office walls made entirely of glass.

在旧金山度假时,我姐姐牙病犯了。这个酒店前台推荐了一个牙医。苏珊有恐高症,发现自己在两边都是玻璃墙14层大楼时,吓坏了。

Susan was sitting rigidly in the examination chair, clutching its sides, when the dentist came in. “Are you always this nervous?” he asked.

苏珊很和僵硬的坐在检查座位上,紧紧握住椅子的两旁,当医生进来时,看到这种情况就问,你一直这么紧张吗?

It’s just that I ‘m not used to being up this high,” Susan replied, eyes closed.

苏珊闭着眼睛回答:只是我不习惯待在这么高的地方

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said. Then he lowered her chair six inches.

“不好意思啊,”他说。然后就把椅子调低了6英尺。

初一英语笑话带翻译欣赏

***一***

拿什么衡量你,我的"减肥量"

I plimented one of my co-workers on having lost ten pounds. However, I couldn’t resistbragging that when I was 17, 1 weighed 225 pounds and today I tip the scales at 224. 1 added, “That’s not bad for a man of my age.”

我称赞我的一个同事减肥10磅。可是,我禁不住夸耀说我17岁时,体重225磅,而目前体重是224磅。我还说:“这对我这样年龄的男子来说,是不错的。”

Overhearing this, a woman remarked, “You mean to say it took you all this time to lose onepound?”

一个女子听到了这些话,她说道:“你是说你花了这么长时间才减了1磅?”

***二***

一个发怒妻子的祈祷 An angry wife's prayer

A man is so addicted to gambling that he often es home late. His wife never stops railing athim. Once he is detained at his office and es home late.

一个男人因嗜赌而经常回家很晚,为此他妻子从没停止过骂他。一次他因工作很晚回到家后。

His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. "I pray toGod that you are speaking the truth", his wife says."May God strike me dead if I amlying.""Then I pray to God that you are lying", his wife said hopefully.

他妻子指责他又去赌博了,可他发誓说这次是因为工作。"我祈祷上帝你说的是实话,"妻子说。"如果我说谎上帝便赐我于死。""那我祈祷上帝你是在说谎。"他妻子充满希望地说。

经典的初一英语笑话带翻译

***一***

A man is so addicted to gambling that he often es home late. His wife never stops railing athim. Once he is detained at his office and es home late.

一个男人因嗜赌而经常回家很晚,为此他妻子从没停止过骂他。一次他因工作很晚回到家后。

His wife accuses him of gambling again but he swears he was detained in his office. "I pray toGod that you are speaking the truth", his wife says."May God strike me dead if I amlying.""Then I pray to God that you are lying", his wife said hopefully.

他妻子指责他又去赌博了,可他发誓说这次是因为工作。"我祈祷上帝你说的是实话,"妻子说。"如果我说谎上帝便赐我于死。""那我祈祷上帝你是在说谎。"他妻子充满希望地说。

***二***

One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast Department Store, a dignifiedmiddle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soon found himself being battered byfrantic women.

一天,远东百货公司的女装大减价,一位高贵的中年男士想给太太买一件。可是,没过多久,他发现自己已被疯狂的女人冲得踉踉跄跄。

He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and arms flailing, he plowed throughthe crowed.You there! challenged a thrill voice. Can't you act like a gentleman?Listen, he said, Ihave been acting like a gentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady.

他竭力忍耐著。后来,他低下头,挥动双臂,挤过人群。你干嘛?有人尖声叫道,你难道不能表现得象位绅士吗?听着,他说,我已经象绅士一样表现了一个小时。从现在起,我要表现得象个女士。

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