笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

改变作文的笑话英语(改变作文的笑话英语带翻译)

本文目录一览:

英文笑话小短文

笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头 故事 。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。 下面是我带来的经典 英语笑话 阅读,欢迎阅读!

经典英语笑话阅读篇一

泡泡温泉(双语阅读)

a:tom,look at your shoes.how dirty they are! you must clear hem.

汤姆,看看你的鞋子,多脏呀,你必须洗一洗了。

b:oh.mother,but i cleaned them only yesterday.

噢,妈妈,可我昨天才洗过的。

a:but they are dirty now.you must clean them again.

可现在它们又脏了,你再洗一次吧。

b:i don't want to clean them today. even if i clean them today,they will be dirty again tomorrow.

我今天不想洗,我即使今天把鞋洗了,明天还会脏的。

a:ok,don't clean them then.

好吧,那就别洗了。

(ln the evening tom came back from school.he was very hungry.

晚上汤姆放学回到家,他非常饿。)

经典英语笑话阅读篇二

喂养宠物(双语阅读)

Birds in their little nests agree.

鸟在巢中不相争。

A small child was giving a bath to a tiny and dirty kitten in the gar-den. while an ojd lady passing by.

一个小男孩在花园里给一只身上很脏的小花猫洗澡,正在这时,一个上了年纪的女士从旁边经过。

A:Sonny.you shouldn't bathe a kitty in cold waLer.He will get sick and die.

小家伙,你不应该在凉水中给小猫洗澡,他会生病,甚至会死。

(The child go on with his job.barely liatening to her.Two houra Wer,the lacjy was retumiWg when ahe saw the boy sittinS on the ground and cring.with the dead kitten lying beaide him.

可是,小男孩继续给小猫洗澡,几乎对那位女士置之不理。两小时以后,那位女士返回时看见那个小男孩坐在地上哭泣,小猫躺在他的身旁,死了。)

B:Didn't I tell you .sonny.that the kitty would die if you wa.shed him in the cold water?

小家伙,我不是告诉休了吗?如果在凉水中给小猫洗澡,他会死的。

A:But Auntie. he didn't die because I waahed him; he died when I was wrinpng him dry.

可是,阿姨,他不是因为我给它洗澡死的,当我把他拧于时,他就死了。

经典英语笑话阅读篇三

戒除烟瘾(双语阅读)

Health is not valued till sickness comes.

生病才知健康好。

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.

一个被告卷入了一桩牵涉大笔资金的诉讼案,他去找他的律师。

A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.

如果我输了这场官司,我就完了。

B:It's in the judge's hand now.

这事掌握在法官的手上。

A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?

如果我给法官送一箱雪茄,会不会起点作用?

B:Oh.no !This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn't even smile ai the judge.

哦.不会的!这位法官很固执,非常注意职业道德。这种花招只会让他对你产生偏见,他甚至会认为你蔑视法庭。事实上,你甚至都不用对他微笑。

With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae,

最后,法官作了一个有利于被告的判决,当被告离开法院时。

A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked.

谢谢你关于雪茄的忠告,这很多管用。

B:I'm sure we wodd have lost the caae if you'd sent them.

如果你送了的话,我肯定休会输掉这场官司。

A:But did send them.

但是我的确送了。

B:What? You did?!

什么?你送了?!

A:Yes.That's how we won the case.

对,这就是我们会赢这场官司的原因。

B:I don't understand

我不明白。

A:It's easy.I sent the cigars to the judge,but enclosed the plaintiff's business card.

这很简单,我把雪茄送到了{去官那里,但是附上了原告的一张名片。

改变作文的笑话英语(改变作文的笑话英语带翻译)插图

5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话有哪些?

1、爆笑英语小笑话1:Who are stupid?谁蠢?

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”

“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”

一个老师在对学生们讲心理学,“谁认为自己蠢就站起来?”她一开始就说。

小约翰尼站了起来。

“你认为你很蠢吗,小约翰尼?”老师问。

“不是的,老师,我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

2、爆笑英语小笑话2:A great man一名伟人

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

老师:如果莎士比亚还活着,他会是一名伟人吗?

学生:当然。因为到目前为止,还没有人活到400多岁。

3、爆笑英语小笑话3:Two Cute dogs

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Does

your dog bite?”

The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”

The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”

一个男人走进了一家商店,看到了一个可爱的小狗,于是他问店主:“你的狗咬人吗?”

店主说:“不,我的狗不咬人。”

这个男人就试图抚摸狗,然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说:“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢!”

店主和他说:“那不是我的狗。”

4、爆笑英语小笑话4:Four gold teeth四颗金牙

6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察:有人抢你的手表时,你为什么不呼救呢?

男子:要是我张口的话,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

5、爆笑英语小笑话5:Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人

The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”

“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”

一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”

英文短笑话

1、Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.

老师:谁能回到我下一个问题,谁就可以回家了。

One boy throws his bag out the window.

一个小男孩把书包扔到窗外。

Teacher: who just threw that?!

老师:谁刚刚把书包扔出去了?

Boy: Me! I’m going home now.

男孩:我!我现在要回家了。

2、What dog can jump higher than a building?

什么狗比大楼跳的还高?

Anydog, buildings can't jump!

任何一只狗,大楼又跳不起来。

3、What has a head, a tail, and no body?

什么有头、有尾,但是没有身体?

A coin!

硬币。

4、What has one eye but cannot see?

什么有一只眼睛,却看不见?

A needle.

针。

5、Wife: "How would you describe me?"

妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?

Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."

丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.

Wife: "What does that mean?"

妻子:那是什么意思?

Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."

丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。

Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"

妻子:哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?

Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

丈夫:开个玩笑!

6、Boy: Is this seat empty?

男孩:这个座位是空的么?

Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。

7、My little dog can't read

我的狗不识字

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

布朗夫人:哦,亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”

8、My Wife Will Exchange Them

反正我太太明天会来换的

A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.

一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。

″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.

“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。

″Makes no difference ″replied customer.

“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。

″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.

“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。

″Any″ he responded.

“什么颜色都成。”他回答。

″Size﹖″

“号码呢?”

″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″

“您就随便给我拿一副吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”

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