笑话哦本文目录一览：
- 1、英语短笑话带翻译
- 2、开心一刻英语笑话
- 3、经典幽默英语笑话8篇
- 4、5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话有哪些？
- 5、又幽默又短的英语笑话
- 6、英语幽默笑话7篇
英语短笑话带翻译
民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
英语短笑话带翻译篇1
Liar,Liar
骗子，骗子
A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.
老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。
The policeman asked her for a description.
警察要求，她形容一下。
She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."
她说：“他三十五岁，六尺四寸，黑眼睛，波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮，体重185磅，说话很轻，而且对小孩子很好。”
The next-door neighbor protested,
隔壁邻居期提出反驳说：
"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."
“你老公五尺四寸，胖嘟嘟 的，秃头，有一个太嘴巴，而且对你的小孩很刻薄。”
The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"
老婆回答说：“你说对了，可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?”
英语短笑话带翻译篇2
A Henpecked Husband
怕老婆的老公
A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.
有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。
"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."
他说：“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。”
The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"
这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家，用力啪答一声关上门，在他老婆的面前：挥舞着拳头，并且大声咆哮说：
From now on you are talking orders from me.
“从现在起，你得乖乖听我的命令。
I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.
我现在就要吃晚餐，当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候，到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。
Tonight I am going out with my friends.
今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出，
You are going to stay at home where you belong.
你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。
Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"
另外还有一件事情，你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?”
I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."
老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。”
英语短笑话带翻译篇3
向你的烦恼说再见
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "
那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名犹太人正确地拼出God后，被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "
“当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!”
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开心一刻英语笑话
开心一刻英语笑话2则
交通灯真美 traffic lights are so pretty
In the side of the bank, there is a crossroads, is the only way that I go home every day.
One evening, I drove the car with the three-year-old daughter home, came to the embankment, from afar, I saw a few traffic lights are out, the crossroads were in bad ...
each traffic light red, yellow, green light , all the bright backdrop in a sunset, is truly beautiful. I quickly called my daughter to enjoy this rare beauty: "Honey, see, is it not very pretty in front of all the traffic lights lamp light?"
Daughter look and said: "Wow! Is nice! Who are they repaired them?"
在堤岸边有个十字路口，是我每天回家的必经之路。
一天黄昏，我开车车载着三岁的女儿回家，来到堤岸，从远处看去，只见十字路口的几只红绿灯都出了故障……
每只红绿灯的红﹑黄﹑绿灯都全部亮起，在晚霞衬托下，煞是好看。我赶紧叫我的女儿欣赏这难得一见的.美景：“女儿你看，前面所有红绿灯的每盏灯都亮了，是不是很漂亮?”
女儿看后说道：“哇!好漂亮啊!是谁把他们修好的?”
老爸求赞美 Dad seeking praise
5-year-old daughter, wanting her father to help her do something.
Father: "I’m so tired, if you praise me twice, I’ll Be fresh."
Daughter: "Lao Zheng!"
Dad: "hey!"
Daughter: "your chick looks really nice ah ......"
5岁的女儿让老爸帮她做某事。
老爸：“爸爸很累啦，你夸我两句吧，你夸我两句我就又有劲了。”
女儿：“老郑!”
老爸：“哎!”
女儿：“你家妞妞长得可真漂亮啊……”
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10. 经典英语笑话精选
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经典幽默英语笑话8篇
下面是我整理的经典幽默 英语笑话 ，欢迎大家阅读!
经典幽默英语笑话：The New Baby
Mr.and Mrs.Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat.Now Mrs.Taylor was expecting another child.
Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.
One evening Mr.and Mrs.Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival.This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，said Mr.Taylor.
Pat came into the room just then and said，What are you talking about?We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's coming，his mother answered.
It's no use，said Pat hopelessly. He'll follow us there.
新生儿
泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩，名叫帕特。现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。
帕特在别人家看见过婴儿，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满。
一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排。泰勒先生说：有了婴儿，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。
帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：你们在说什么?他的母亲回答说：我们在说我们现在得搬家，因为婴儿就要诞生了。
那没用，帕特绝望地说。他会跟我们到那儿去的。
经典幽默英语笑话：What Are The Two Words?
A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter.My dear， said the old lady，I wish you would do something for me.I wish you would promise me never to use two words.One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’.Would you promise me that?
Why，sure，Granny，said the girl.What are the two words?
是哪两个词?
一个非常高贵的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。我亲爱的，老夫人说：我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词。一个是‘讨厌的’，另一个是‘极好的’。你能答应我吗?
噢，当然，奶奶。女孩说：是哪两个词?
经典幽默英语笑话：What's your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name.Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,He said,and don't forget to call me 'sir'.
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier?
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied.My name is Stonebreaker,sirhe said nervously.
你叫什么名字?
有一位很严厉的军官在对一群交由他训练的新兵训话。他以前从没见过这群新兵，于是他开始 自我介绍 ：我的名字叫Stone(石头)，事实上，我甚至比石头更强硬。这就是我为什么要告诉你们我名字的原因。不要试图对我玩什么花招，这样我们就能很好相处了。
接着他开始走到每个士兵前面问他们的名字。说大声点，让每个人都能听清楚。另外，不要忘记称呼我为长官。他说。
每个士兵都对他说了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前时，这个士兵保持着沉默。于是Stone队长对他喊叫，当我问你问题的时候，要回答!我再问一遍，你的名字，士兵?
那个新兵很不高兴，但最后他回答了。我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石机)，长官。他紧张的说。
经典幽默英语笑话：No Problem
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. How can I help you? asked the stylist. I went for a hair transplant, the guy explained, but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000.
No problem, said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
没问题
一个秃头的男人坐在理发店里。发型师问：有什么可以帮你吗?那个人解释说：我本来去做头发移植，但实在太痛了。如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样，而且没有任何痛苦，我将付给你5000美元。
没问题，发型师说，然后他很快帮自己剃了个光头。
经典幽默英语笑话：
The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced，a hitch arose over the fee，and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was com pleted， the patron was asked to come and inspect it.As a matter of fact，the picture was just one daub of brilliant red.
What's this? exclaimed the purchaser.I asked for theRed Sea， on the occasion of the celebrated passage.
That's it，replied Hogarth.
But，where are the Israelites?
They are all gone over.
Where are the Egyptians?
They're all drowned.
一天，有人请这位伟大的画家画一幅法老王渡红海图。这幅画刚开始不久，酬金就出现了问题。霍迪斯发现，完成这幅画后，他只能得到他想要的大约一半的钱。当作品完成之后，那位主顾被请来看画。其实，这幅画不过是胡乱涂抹的一片鲜红。
这是什么?那位买主喊了起来。我要的是红海，是那次著名的航海。
这就是，霍迦斯回答说。
可是以色列人在哪儿?
他们都已经渡过去了。
埃及人在哪儿?
他们全都淹死了。
经典幽默英语笑话：人们什么时候说话最少?
Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?
老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?
Tom: Men.
汤姆:男人们。
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?
Tom : Twins.
汤姆: 双胞胎。
经典幽默英语笑话：我丈夫刚进来
The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over.
在饭馆里坐着一对夫妇，他们看上去非常高兴。但是当那女子向旁边瞥了一眼时，服务员马上跑了过来。
“Madam look,”he said.“Your husband just slid under the table.”
“夫人，您瞧,” 他说,“您丈夫滑到桌子底下去了。”
“No,he didn't,”she replied.“My husband just came in the door.”
“不，他没有,” 她回答,“我丈夫刚从门外进来。”
经典幽默英语笑话：有两条裤子
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
丈夫下班回到家里，发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。“我心里太难受了，”她说。“我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。”
“Forget it ,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说。“你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. "And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.”
“是的，”妻子高兴地说，“幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。”
5个浅显易懂的英语小笑话有哪些？
1、爆笑英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？
A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying “Everyone who thinks you’re stupid stand up!”
Little Johnny then stood up.
The teacher said “Do you think you’re stupid Johnny?”
“No ma’am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!”
一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。
小约翰尼站了起来。
“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。
“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”
2、爆笑英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人
Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？
学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。
3、爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogs
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper “Does
your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says “No my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch” he says “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies “That is not my dog.”
一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”
店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”
这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”
店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。”
4、爆笑英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙
6.Policeman: Why didn’t you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth they’d have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.
警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？
男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
5、爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don’t bite吠狗不咬人
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
“It’s all right” said a gentleman “don’t be afraid. Don’t you know the proverb: Barking dogs don’t bite?”
“Ah yes” answered the little girl. “I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?”
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”
又幽默又短的英语笑话
又幽默又短的英语笑话，希望能让你开心！
一、英语幽默短笑话1：
Mike:Mum,I want to watch TV.
Mum:There is no electricity tonight.
Mike:Then let's watch TVwith a candie on.
迈克：妈妈，我想看电视。
妈妈：今晚停电了。
迈克：那我们就点着蜡烛看吧。
二、英语幽默短笑话2
The Fish Net
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
三、英语幽默短笑话3
Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
Well, bring me the winner then.
服务员， 这个龙虾只有一只爪。
对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语幽默笑话7篇
笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言，笑话是一种艺术 方法 ，用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。下面是我整理的英语幽默笑话6篇，欢迎大家阅读!
英语笑话 一：Is he dying?
A man was sitting in a bar with tears streaming down his face. A friend walked in and asked why he was so unhappy. The weeping one said, The doctor has just told me I'll have to take these tablets for the rest of my life.
Cheerfully, his friend pointed out that many people have to take tablets every day of their life. Sure, came the reply, but he only gave me ten.
一个男人坐在酒吧里痛哭流泪。一个朋友走进来问他为何如此伤心。那人哭着说：刚才医生告诉我，在我的余生里都要吃这些药片。
他的朋友很轻松地指出，许多人一辈子每天都要吃药。当然，男人回答说：但是他只给了我十片。
英语笑话二：The blonde and the farmer
There was a blonde that was so sick of blonde jokes she died her hair red. The jokes stopped and she felt so good, she took a ride in the country one Saturday afternoon. While on this ride, she noticed a flock of sheep and stopped the car to taken......。
一个金发女郎，是那么恶心的黄色笑话她把头发染成红色。笑话停了下来，她觉得很好，她在农村的一个搭车的星期六下午。而在这旅程，她注意到一群羊，停下车来把......。
英语笑话三：太晚了 It's Too Late
A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."
A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."
一个医科学生被要求说明他给病人服的那种药的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”
一分钟后，这个学生问教授：“我可以改正我的回答吗?”教授看看手表，说：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒钟以前死了。”
英语笑话四：The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
“你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?” 老师发问道。
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
“把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。
英语笑话五：脑移植 A Brain Transplant
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."
一个外科医生正要作一个脑移植手术。
“你可以从两个脑子中选一个给你。”医生告诉病人，“一个心理学家的大脑1000美元，一个政治家的大脑10000美元。
病人很惊讶二者之间这样大的差别，“政治家的大脑好一些吗?”他问。
医生说：“不是好一些，只是没有用过。”
英语笑话六：最丑的孩子
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”
英语笑话七：我娶了你的姐妹
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个 万圣节 夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是谁?”丈夫问到。
"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
