热搜：英语小笑话,小笑话,经典笑话

俗话说“笑一笑，十年少”，对于笑话这样的幽默小故事，不仅仅在中国有，在英国也十分普遍。今天小编整理了10则英国经典笑话，一起来欣赏吧。

一．Visual training——视力训练

The squad were having "visual training". one smart recruit was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field.

翻译：班里正在进行“视力训练”。一个聪明的新兵被班长叫出来数一数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。

The party was so faraway that the men appeared as mere dots, but unhesitatingly the recruit replied：

翻译：采掘队在很远的地方，那些人从远处看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵毫不犹豫地回答。

"Sixteen men and a sergeant , sir."

“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。”

"Right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?"

“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中士？”

"He's not doing any digging, sir."

“他压根不干活，长官。”

二．The nice wedding gift——漂亮的新婚礼物

We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher.

我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘，所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的礼物----一个灭火器。

Apparently,the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. we look forward to using it soon.

很明显，这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信，因为我们收到了一张卡片，上面写着：“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物，我们期待着不久就用到它。”

三．How to Become Rich——如何致富

Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.

弟弟：我看见你亲我姐姐了，如果你不给我五分钱，我就告诉我爸。

Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.

姐姐的男朋友：不要那样做。给你钱。

Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.

弟弟：我这个月已经赚了一块两毛五了。

三．Lucky Mother——幸运的母亲

A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world.

一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有许多受饥饿的人，不应该浪费食物。

One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that she did not want it like that.

有天晚上，在哄幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她首先给她一片新鲜的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜欢这样吃。

She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.

女儿还要一些果酱涂在面包上。母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我和你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。

Lucy looked at her mother for a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?

露茜看了母亲一会儿，眼中露出怜惜的神情。随后她柔声说道：您现在能跟我们生活在一起难道不感到高兴吗？

五．Pirate's Treasure——海盗的财富

"Ten steps from the porch（门廊） and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there!."

“离门廊十步，离玫瑰丛二十步，”一天晚上蓝胡子在吉米的梦中咆哮道。那里有宝藏！”

So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.

于是第二天，吉米开始挖掘。他一直挖到洞很深，土堆很高。

He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"

他一直挖到洞最深，土堆最高。他叹了口气。“我太累了。我不能再挖了。”然后他发现了一些东西……但这只是伍菲的一块骨头。吉米所拥有的不是宝藏，而是一根狗骨头、一个洞和一大堆土，用来填满宝藏。他以为“那个海盗骗了我！”

But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped her hands and smiled a smile， "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendronbush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole."

但当吉米的母亲看到他所做的一切时，她紧握双手，微笑着，”哦，谢谢你，吉米。我一直想在那里种一棵杜鹃花。这是挖那个洞的5美元。”

六. Two Pieces of Cake——两块蛋糕

Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?

汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗？

Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!

妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕然后把它切成两块吧！

七．A Gentle Reminder——委婉提醒

Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"

我们结婚后已经很久了，我丈夫往往在一些特殊事情上需要别人委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念日的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？”

Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"

他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：“所以，你想交换座位吗？”

八．Does He Bite——它咬人吗

Reggie: We have got a new dog. Would you like to come around and play with him?

里基：我们又得到了一条新狗，你愿意过来和他玩一会吗？

Ron: Well, I don't know---does he bite?

罗恩：嗯，我不知道----它咬人吗？

Reggie: That's what I want to find out.

里基：这正是我想要查明的。

九：Reason of Punishment——惩罚的原因

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.

一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说道：”妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。”

The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?

妈妈激动地说道：”那真是太可怕了！我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么？”

The little girl replied, My homework.

小女孩回答说：”我的家庭作业。”

十．I'm Glad 我很高兴

A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?

一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，我的孩子们，”她说：”你们当中有谁能让别人高兴过么？”

Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.

Well done. Who was that?

”我，老师，“一个小男孩说道：”昨天我就让别人高兴过。”

”做得好，是谁呢？”

My granny.

“我奶奶。”

Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.

“好孩子，现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”

Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’！

“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看望她，然后在她那里呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家啦。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴！’”