笑话哦本文目录一览：
怎么看待「英式没品笑话」？
英国网站 Sickipedia可以译为“没品笑话百科”。其风格百无禁忌，有冷有热，有健康有恶心，有重口味有老少皆宜。
有个人经历有文字游戏，不过最受欢迎的还是各种种族/疾病/状况歧视与各种冷漠、无同情心、人性缺失的恶毒笑话们。
英式幽默主要特点：
喜好嘲讽、喜好自贬，尤其是要冷嘲（deadpan，指说的时候面无表情、能绷着脸自己不笑出来）——这对于我们中国人来说应该是非常熟悉的，传统相声里满满的都是这样的例子，尤其是“说笑话的人自己不宜笑”这一点，马三立老先生就非常有代表性。
而自贬这一点，把我们对于中国男足的态度拿出来，也就足以和英国人一比，至于两国人民把这种自贬具体还应用到其它哪些方面，这有个各自的喜好问题，比如说英国人能黑皇室，我们就黑不到，这是客观条件所限。
不重情，而且没有禁区，但若说的太直白就会觉得粗鄙——这点我也不觉得中国有欠缺，翻翻《笑林广记》里能看到非常多用现在的话说“没有节操”的笑话。但我们在社会禁忌这一点上还是很有底线的。
这可能和我们的近代史缺乏身为世界霸权的经历有关，因为经历过很多屈辱，有太多的仇恨和不甘，没有办法像曾经全球日不落、二战时本土也未被侵占过的英国那样，能够轻看很多东西。
英式幽默笑话
话在文体上即文学样式上属于小说,因为它和小说“血缘”关系最近。笑话具有的娱乐功能是其首要功能。笑话虽小,但它含有极强的语言表达技巧和人类的高超智慧。下面是我带来的英式幽默搞笑笑话，欢迎阅读!
英式幽默搞笑笑话篇一
Thirstin for Love
渴望爱情
Thurston was in the habit of visiting his girl-friend's apartment from time to time,
沙斯敦经常去他女友的公寓住处，
but always managed to get home at a decent hour with a plausible excuse.
但他总是设法找个理由以免太晚回家。
But this time, both he and his girlfriend had fallen asleep,
但这一次，他和女朋友都睡着了，
and it was 2:00 a. m before Thurston came to.
当他醒来时都已经凌晨两点了，
Thinking fast, he immediately called home,
沙斯敦脑筋一转，立刻打电话回家，
and when his wife answered, panted, "Don't pay the ransom! I've escaped!"
当他太太接电话时，他故意喘着气说：“千万不要付赎金!我已经安全逃出来了!”
英式幽默搞笑笑话篇二
And Where Did You Meet Your Wife?
你在哪里遇到你太太呢?
Two acquaintances were in the barber shop getting shaves at the same time.
两个熟识的朋友刚好同时在理发店内刮胡子。
After the barbers had finished,
理发师刮完他们的胡子后，
each man was asked if he would like some after-shave applied to his skin.
两人都被问到要不要在脸上抹上一些刮胡子后所使用的香水。
"No, no," answered the first man.
“不，不，”第一个先生说。
"My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse. "
“我太太会以为我去过妓院。”
"Go ahead," said the other.
“我没关系，”另一个先生说道。
"My wife has never been in a whorehouse ! "
“我太太从没在妓院待过!”
英式幽默搞笑笑话篇三
A Touching Farewell
一个感人的告别
Two old friends were out golfing.
两个老朋友出外打 高尔夫球 。
As they were preparing to tee off near a road,
当他们在一处路旁准备开球时，
a funeral cortege drove by and one of the two friends took off his hat and held it over his heart until the line of cars had passed.
一列出殡送葬车队恰巧经过那里，其中一位朋友脱去帽子放在胸前，直到车队通过后才戴上帽子。
"Well, that was good manners on your part," said his partner.
“你这样做实在很有礼貌，”他的同伴说道。
"Oh, it was the least I could do.
“喔，那只不过是我最起码所能做的事了。
After all we would have been married thirty years next Tuesday. "
毕竟，到下星期二我们结婚就满三十年了。
英式幽默搞笑笑话篇四
A Half-price Ticket
半价票
"How much is the movie ticket?"
“电影票多少钱一张?”
"Ten dollars, kid."
“10美元，孩子。”
"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."
“我只有5美元。请让我进去吧，我只用一只眼睛看。”
英式幽默搞笑笑话篇五
Failure in a Test
考试不及格
Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
妈妈:这次测试你为什么得这么低的分?
Kid: Because of absence.
孩子:因为缺考。
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
妈妈：你的意思是考试那天你没去?
Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
孩子:不是，是坐在我旁边的孩子没来。
经典幽默英语笑话8篇
下面是我整理的经典幽默 英语笑话 ，欢迎大家阅读!
经典幽默英语笑话：The New Baby
Mr.and Mrs.Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat.Now Mrs.Taylor was expecting another child.
Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.
One evening Mr.and Mrs.Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival.This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，said Mr.Taylor.
Pat came into the room just then and said，What are you talking about?We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's coming，his mother answered.
It's no use，said Pat hopelessly. He'll follow us there.
新生儿
泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩，名叫帕特。现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。
帕特在别人家看见过婴儿，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满。
一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排。泰勒先生说：有了婴儿，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。
帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：你们在说什么?他的母亲回答说：我们在说我们现在得搬家，因为婴儿就要诞生了。
那没用，帕特绝望地说。他会跟我们到那儿去的。
经典幽默英语笑话：What Are The Two Words?
A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter.My dear， said the old lady，I wish you would do something for me.I wish you would promise me never to use two words.One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’.Would you promise me that?
Why，sure，Granny，said the girl.What are the two words?
是哪两个词?
一个非常高贵的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。我亲爱的，老夫人说：我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词。一个是‘讨厌的’，另一个是‘极好的’。你能答应我吗?
噢，当然，奶奶。女孩说：是哪两个词?
经典幽默英语笑话：What's your name?
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together
Then he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name.Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,He said,and don't forget to call me 'sir'.
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier?
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied.My name is Stonebreaker,sirhe said nervously.
你叫什么名字?
有一位很严厉的军官在对一群交由他训练的新兵训话。他以前从没见过这群新兵，于是他开始 自我介绍 ：我的名字叫Stone(石头)，事实上，我甚至比石头更强硬。这就是我为什么要告诉你们我名字的原因。不要试图对我玩什么花招，这样我们就能很好相处了。
接着他开始走到每个士兵前面问他们的名字。说大声点，让每个人都能听清楚。另外，不要忘记称呼我为长官。他说。
每个士兵都对他说了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前时，这个士兵保持着沉默。于是Stone队长对他喊叫，当我问你问题的时候，要回答!我再问一遍，你的名字，士兵?
那个新兵很不高兴，但最后他回答了。我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石机)，长官。他紧张的说。
经典幽默英语笑话：No Problem
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop. How can I help you? asked the stylist. I went for a hair transplant, the guy explained, but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I'll pay you $5,000.
No problem, said the stylist, and he quickly shaved his head.
没问题
一个秃头的男人坐在理发店里。发型师问：有什么可以帮你吗?那个人解释说：我本来去做头发移植，但实在太痛了。如果你能够让我的头发看起来像你的一样，而且没有任何痛苦，我将付给你5000美元。
没问题，发型师说，然后他很快帮自己剃了个光头。
经典幽默英语笑话：
The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced，a hitch arose over the fee，and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was com pleted， the patron was asked to come and inspect it.As a matter of fact，the picture was just one daub of brilliant red.
What's this? exclaimed the purchaser.I asked for theRed Sea， on the occasion of the celebrated passage.
That's it，replied Hogarth.
But，where are the Israelites?
They are all gone over.
Where are the Egyptians?
They're all drowned.
一天，有人请这位伟大的画家画一幅法老王渡红海图。这幅画刚开始不久，酬金就出现了问题。霍迪斯发现，完成这幅画后，他只能得到他想要的大约一半的钱。当作品完成之后，那位主顾被请来看画。其实，这幅画不过是胡乱涂抹的一片鲜红。
这是什么?那位买主喊了起来。我要的是红海，是那次著名的航海。
这就是，霍迦斯回答说。
可是以色列人在哪儿?
他们都已经渡过去了。
埃及人在哪儿?
他们全都淹死了。
经典幽默英语笑话：人们什么时候说话最少?
Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?
老师: 汤姆，“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?
Tom: Men.
汤姆:男人们。
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?
Tom : Twins.
汤姆: 双胞胎。
经典幽默英语笑话：我丈夫刚进来
The couple seated in restaurant seemed to be having a wonderful time. But as the woman glanced away from the table，their waiter suddenly rushed over.
在饭馆里坐着一对夫妇，他们看上去非常高兴。但是当那女子向旁边瞥了一眼时，服务员马上跑了过来。
“Madam look,”he said.“Your husband just slid under the table.”
“夫人，您瞧,” 他说,“您丈夫滑到桌子底下去了。”
“No,he didn't,”she replied.“My husband just came in the door.”
“不，他没有,” 她回答,“我丈夫刚从门外进来。”
经典幽默英语笑话：有两条裤子
A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible,” she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.”
丈夫下班回到家里，发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。“我心里太难受了，”她说。“我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。”
“Forget it ,” consoled her husband. “Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”
“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说。“你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。”
“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. "And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.”
“是的，”妻子高兴地说，“幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。”
英式笑话 walk into pab
walk into a bar 有双关义,既可以是“走进一家酒吧”,也可以是“撞上一根栏杆”
光看第一句很容易以为是通常的”两个人走进一家酒吧“,结果第二句”你以为第二个人会看见它吗?“,才知道原来说的是“两个人撞上一根栏杆”,而且第二个人是看见第一个人撞上了之后,接着自己也撞上去.笑点就是这.
