笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

不能让敌人看笑话英语(不能让敌人看笑话英语)

本文目录一览:

中英文的短笑话

1. Money is not the problem, the problem is money!

2. Drunk who has not satisfied me, I will help the wall!

3. I leaned on the glass like a fly, the future is bright, but can not find the way out.

4. Big Brother, you know? Two brothers and the meat is more expensive than the master of all

5. If the fish can Bunao make people more intelligent, then you should eat at least one pair of children whales ... ...

6. The water is clear there are no fish, people are invincible to the base.

7. Youth is like toilet paper, looking at Tingzhi may, with the use of forward to not enough ~

8. Huai just like pregnancy, long time before people see it.

9. I have friends around, ah, you have known it quickly so that I can sell the memoirs of a ~ ~ ~

10. Colleagues went to see the customer, may be tight, a opening is: "Mr Lau Hello, may I ask your name ah?" Khan ah ~~~~~~

11. A bit of a black female students, her boyfriend has Taibai some, there are days, days after the dorm was poisonous tongue suddenly blurting her: "You did not, you will give birth to a zebra"

12. Aging mother has always been as handsome and money as dirt, and they have been to see me like this

13. Do not, and I am better than lazy, I'm too lazy and you're better than

14. I am not a casual person and I can be up and not human

15. God said, Let there be light, I said that I oppose, from the world, with the dark

16. Today a bad mood. I have only four sentences say. Include this and the previous two. I finished saying ......

17. A man to do a cow wandering in between A and C who beef

18. My great name of God, little Jesus, the English name of God, Buddhist name, is the Tathagata ...

19. People can not hang in a tree, near the trees at the tree to die several times more to try

20. Trees do not skin, certain death; were shameless, invincible.

21. Farmer 3 boxing a little pain

22. In fact, I have been very popular: a child of my cute now, I love people slut

23. Not afraid of the tiger as the enemy, afraid that the same team-mate pigs

24. Go its own way, let others go by taxi

25. Mice carry the knife, the streets looking for the cat

26. As long as the effort deep shit too seriously

27. Chinese, who ran the fastest? Is Cao Cao (non Liu Xiang). Because that Cao Cao Cao Cao to

28. Thinking of how far, how far you go away

29. Only when long lines at the train station, can we truly realize that they are "descendants of the dragon."

30. Lovers and eventually became a family

31. Spring arrived, a group of geese are flying north, while arranged in B fonts T fonts arranged in a while ..

32. Where, where to lie down on the fall

33. Tiger does not shout at you when I was a HELLO KITTY!

34. The donkey is the idea came back ~

◆ woman fat or plump thin is thin high slender dwarf is petite; men fat or thin is ribs pig dwarf bamboo is high is Professor of melon ◆: 90% of adult women in China was not a virgin do send a letter to the President of the other 10% Have you heard of this woman do? Public girls shaking his head. "So you have not received the letter!" ◆ "I have a sort of love you?" "As much as a dime." "Only so little?" "Not a dime is 'very' me?" ◆ You long creative, living your courage, ugly is not your intention, God made a temper, live, without you, who set off the beauty of the world!

01. The early bird catches the worm, Early Riser, eaten by birds!

02. And a whale MM argument is not a fish, finally, I said, "say the word, I also take personal," she agreed to a whale That was not the fish.

03. Tiechu to grind needles, but can only be ground into a toothpick Mu Chu, material does not, more effort is useless.

04. If Replies is a virtue, then I would become a saint.

05. Life can not be like cooking, all the materials are ready before the pot.

06. I heard a woman such as clothing, brother of brotherhood. Looking back, I actually busy divvying up the streaker for 20 years!

07. Wear someone else's shoes, go its own way, let them go play in the search.

08. There is a very ancient legend, said to be in the XX beautiful campus to see who will live forever ... ...

09. Are the eggs all over the world together can break stones? ! So life is still to be realistic ... ...

10. Not afraid of the tiger as the enemy, afraid of pigs as teammates!

11. Summer is not good, poor northwest wind when I could not even get to drink ... no ...

12. I've had a pair of wings, but I did not use it in the sky, but on the stew pot ... ...

13. The water is clear there are no fish were to base the invincible!

14. I am not a casual person, and I can not man up.

15. Today, I say to my school group visits - to tell the truth, this is the first time I said, I see the clothes!

16. Thinking of how far, how far you roll! ! !

17. I am poor, my family's servants also very poor, my family's gardener is also very poor, very poor drivers of my home ... ...

18. Bank charges, said: "This is in line with international practice!" Service, said: "To consider the situation of China!"

19. On the horse, not necessarily a prince, he may be the Tang Monk; with angel wings are not necessarily, he may be a bird person.

20. Huai just like pregnancy, long time before people see it.

21. Points higher, farther urine.

22. A minimum goal of Students: peasant woman, spring, a bit field

23. I phone a friend in his girlfriend's name is "he", then they broke up, they become "it" ... ...

24. Nothing matters not to me, and something not to me!

25. Do you think I will watch you die you go to? I will close my eyes to!

26. Buddha said: "Looking back only 500 of past lives this life in exchange for a pass." I would prefer to pass to a world in exchange for life's 500 Review.

27. What shall I love you to death ... ...

28. Network is like a prison, stole a purse originally came in, so when anything out of the learned.

29. Angels fly the reason is because they themselves see very light ... ...

30. I want to puppy love, but it is too late ... ...

31. Shitai! You from the old monk it!

32. I love you! None of your business?

33. Xuehaiwuya, repent and be saved!

34. Life tmd fun, because life is to play my old tmd!

35. This world, I believe two people, one is me and the other is not you.

36. I do not know who bed-law, daughter-I do not know who's bed!

37. I wish I could personally control your grandfather cry: Daddy!

38. NTUT lied to me four years in college, so I'm going to teach me the knowledge of fraud Greeley social life!

39. I have friends around, ah, you have known it quickly so that I can sell the memoirs of a ~ ~ ~

40. When you put on love, wedding, and I put on a monk's robe ... ...

41. Never seen such a disgusting school - the midterm exam is set at May 8! ! ! (Cover up)

42. Prices higher and higher, so fewer and fewer good men ... ...

43. If I do the emperor, on the seal when you Prince!

44. I have a friend phone in his girlfriend's name is "he", then they broke up, they become "it" ... ...

45. Has never become a good student, is strong and reliable quality!

46. Damn, I been complaints against the! Customers say the mp3 files I gave him no images!

47. Life sometimes is like eunuchs **** it - resistance is painful, do not resist or pain!

48. Will each reduce the number of girls to boys behind the 6!

49. East say the west side of the rain, I am enthusiastic teacher mercilessly. So when I test the door to the common struggle and students!

50. What a strange thing to embrace, clearly depend on so close, but not see each other face

1.钱不是问题,问题是没钱!

2.喝醉了我谁也不服,我就扶墙!

3.我就像一只趴在玻璃上的苍蝇,前途一片光明,但又找不到出路.

4.大师兄,你知道吗?二师兄的肉现在比师傅的都贵了

5.如果多吃鱼可以补脑让人变聪明的话,那么你至少得吃一对儿鲸鱼……

6.水至清则无鱼,人至贱则无敌。

7.青春就像卫生纸,看着挺多得,用着用着就不够了~

8.怀才就像怀孕,时间久了才能让人看出来。

9.我身边的朋友们啊,你们快点出名吧,这样我的回忆录就可以畅销了~~~

10.同事去见客户,可能是紧张,一开口便是:“刘先生你好,请问你贵姓啊?”汗啊~~~~~~

11.一女同学黑了些,她男友又太白了些,有天宿舍里得毒舌天后突然对她冒出一句:“你们这样不行,你们会生出斑马来的”

12.老娘一向视帅哥与金钱如粪土,而他们也一直是这样看我的

13.不要和我比懒,我懒得和你比

14.我不是个随便的人 我随便起来不是人

15.上帝说,要有光,我说我反对,从此世界上有了黑暗

16.今天心情不好.我只有四句话想说.包括这句和前面的两句.我的话说完了......

17.做人就要做一个徘徊在牛A和牛C之间的人

18.我的大名叫上帝,小名叫耶稣,英文名God, 法号是如来...

19.人不能在一棵树上吊死,要在附近几棵树上多死几次试试

20.树不要皮,必死无疑;人不要脸,天下无敌。

21.农夫三拳有点疼

22.其实我一直很受人欢迎的:小时候的我人见人爱,如今的我人贱人爱

23.不怕虎一样的敌人,就怕猪一样的队友

24.走自己的路,让别人打车去吧

25.老鼠扛刀,满街找猫

26.只要功夫深,拉屎也认真

27.中国人谁跑的最快?是曹操(非刘翔)。因为说曹操曹操到

28.思想有多远,你就给我滚多远

29.只有在火车站大排长龙时,才能真正意识到自己是“龙的传人”。

30.有情人终成家属

31.春天来了,一群大雁正向北飞,一会儿排成B字型,一会儿排成T字型..

32.在哪里跌倒 就在哪里躺下

33.老虎不发威 你当我是HELLO KITTY!

34.驴是的念来过倒~

◆女人胖是丰满 瘦是苗条 高是修长 矮是娇小;男人胖是肥猪 瘦是排骨 高是竹竿矮是冬瓜 ◆教授:我国成年女性有90%不是处女 总统为此寄信给其他10%的女性 你们听说过此事吗?众女生摇头。“那么说你们都没有收到信!” ◆“你爱我有几分?”“一毛钱之多。”“只有这么一点吗?”“一毛钱不就是‘十分’吗?” ◆你长的很有创意,活着是你的勇气,丑不是你的本意,是上帝发了脾气,活下去,没有你,谁来衬托世界的美丽!

01.早起的鸟儿有虫吃,早起的虫儿被鸟吃!

02.和一MM争论鲸鱼是不是鱼,最后我说“曰本人也带个人字”,她这才同意鲸鱼不是鱼。

03.铁杵能磨成针,但木杵只能磨成牙签,材料不对,再努力也没用。

04.如果回帖是一种美德,那我早就成为圣人了。

05.人生不能像做菜、把所有的料都准备好才下锅。

06.听说女人如衣服,兄弟如手足。回想起来,我竟然七手八脚的裸奔了20年!

07.穿别人的鞋,走自己的路,让他们打的找去吧。

08.有一个很古老的传说,说是在XX校园内能看到美女的人会长生不老……

09.难道全世界的鸡蛋联合起来就能打破石头吗?!所以做人还是要现实些……

10.不怕虎一样的敌人,就怕猪一样的队友!

11.夏天就是不好,穷的时候我连西北风都没得喝……

12.我也曾有过一双翅膀,不过我没用它在天上翱翔,而是放在锅里炖汤……

13.水至清则无鱼,人至贱则无敌!

14.我不是随便的人,我随便起来不是人。

15.今天一群曰本人来我校参观——说实话,这是我第一次看到穿衣服的曰本人!

16.思想有多远,你就滚多远!!!

17.我很穷,我家的佣人也很穷,我家的园丁也很穷,我家的司机也很穷……

18.银行收费时说:“这符合国际惯例!”服务时却说:“要考虑中国国情!”

19.骑白马的不一定是王子,他可能是唐僧;带翅膀的也不一定是天使,他可能是鸟人。

20.怀才就像怀孕,时间久了才能让人看出来。

21.站的更高,尿的更远。

22.一大学生 最低奋斗目标:农妇,山泉,有点田

23.我朋友在他女友手机里的名字是“他”,后来他们分手了,就变成了“它”……

24.没什么事不要找我,有事更不用找我!

25.你以为我会眼睁睁地看着你去送死吗?我会闭上眼睛的!

26.佛曰:“前世的500次回眸才换来今生的一次擦肩而过”。我宁愿用来世的一次擦肩而过来换得今生的500次回眸。

27.我拿什么整死你的爱人……

28.网络就像是监狱,本来是偷了个钱包进来的,等出去的时候就什么都学会了。

29.天使之所以会飞,是因为她们把自己看得很轻……

30.我想早恋,但是已经晚了……

31.师太!你就从了老衲吧!

32.我爱你!关你什么事?

33.学海无涯,回头是岸!

34.生活tmd好玩,因为生活老tmd玩我!

35.这个世界上我只相信两个人,一个是我,另一个不是你。

36.我床上的不知道是谁媳妇,我媳妇不知道在谁的床上!

37.我真想亲口管你爷爷叫声:爹!

38.北科大骗了我大学四年,所以我打算用北科大教我的知识骗社会一辈子!

39.我身边的朋友们啊,你们快点出名吧,这样我的回忆录就可以畅销了~~~

40.当你穿上了爱情的婚纱,我也披上了和尚的袈裟……

41.没见过这么恶心的学校——把期中考试订在5月8号!!!(隐讳)

42.房价越来越高,所以,好男人越来越少……

43.如果我做了皇帝,就封你当太子!

44.我朋友在他女友手机里的名字是“他”,后来他们分手了,就变成了“它”……

45.始终没有沦为一名优秀的大学生,靠的就是坚强品质!

46.妈的,我被人投诉了!客户说我给他的mp3文件没有图像!

47.生活有时就像被太监****一样——反抗是痛苦,不反抗还是痛苦!

48.将每个女生后面的男生数减少到6名!

49.东边曰出西边雨,导师无情我有情。所以考试时我要和同学门共同奋战!

50.拥抱真是个奇怪的东西,明明靠的那么近,却看不见彼此的脸

用英语写出 5个笑话

1. 那就更糟了 Much Worse

Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

中文:

警察:有人抢你的手表时,你为什么不呼救呢?

男子:要是我张口的话,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

注释:

1、shout for help:呼救

2、rob of:抢劫

2.林肯过生日 Great Event

Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

老师:1809年发生了什么重大事件?

小威利:亚伯拉罕-林肯诞生。

老师:正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢?

小威利:亚伯拉罕-林肯过他的三周岁生日。

3.谁最懒 Who Is the Laziest

Who Is the Laziest?

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

中文:

父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?

汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。

父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?

汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。

注释:

watch是指专注地看着某人或某物的动作,指观看,常用于看电视、看比赛、看某人进行某种活动等,一般用于看连续的过程;而look是指将视线放在某人或某物之上,常用来提醒别人注意某人或某种正在发生的情况,一般是看一个画面。

4.我又不认识那个女人!

I don't even know that woman

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman siting on a bench, passionately kissing.

"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.

"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"

中文:

一对在公园散步的夫妇注意到坐在长凳上的那对年轻男女正在热烈地接吻。

“为什么你不能那样做呢?”妻子说。

“亲爱的,”她丈夫回答,“我又不认识那个女人!”

5.一个电话

A Telephone Call

Mrs. Jones was waiting for an important telephone call, but she had no bread in the house, so she left the baby at home and said to his five-year-old brother, “I'm going to the shops, Jimmy, and I will be back in a few minutes.”

While she was out, the telephone rang and Jimmy answered. “Hello,” said a man, “is your mother there?”

“No,” answered Jimmy.

“Well, when she comes back, say to her, ”Mr. Baker telephoned.“

“What?”

“Mr. Baker. Write it down. B-A-K-E-R.”

“How do you make a B?”

“How do I make……? Listen, little boy, is there anybody else with you? Any borthers or sisters?”

“My brother Billy is here.”

“Good, I want to talk to him, please.”

“All right.” Jimmy took the telephone to the baby's bed and gave it to Billy. When their mother came back, she asked “Did anyone telephone?”

“Yes,” said Jimmy, “a man. But he only wanted to talk to Billy.”

琼斯太太正在等一个重要的电话,但家里没有面包了,所以她把婴儿留在家里,对那五岁的哥哥说:“吉米,我去趟商店,马上就回来。”

她出去以后,电话铃响了,吉米接了电话:“喂,”一个男人说:“你母亲在家吗?”

“不在,”吉米回答。

“噢,等你妈妈回来,告诉她贝克先生来过电话。”

“什么?”

“贝克先生。写下来,B-A-K-E-R”

“B怎么写?”

“怎么写……听着,孩子,你身边还有别人吗?兄弟或姐妹?”

“我的兄弟比利在这里。”

“好,请叫他接电话。”

“可以。”吉米把电话拿到婴儿床边,递给比利。母亲回来问道:“刚才有人来过电话了吗?”

“有,”吉米说:“是个男人,但他只想和比利讲话。”

不能让敌人看笑话英语(不能让敌人看笑话英语)插图

说出来不怕让你笑话。用英语怎么说?

I hope this won't make me seem that funny.After transfering into the language class,I couldn't catch up with other guys in German yet.In the last German examination,I turned out the last one.The teacher asked me why my sheet was empty,I said I just couldn't even write down a word.Then I couldn't help with my tears.My classmates were laughing at me,because I cried for such a trivial matter.However,I felt really ashamed.Even what you taught me before was lost in my memory.I know it's inconvenient to bother you again.You are always on the go.To tell you the truth,I got a hatred of German.I am old,and my tongue is no longer flexible,at least not flexible enough for retroflex consonant.Every German class I took was a frustration for me.

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