笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

中式英语幽默笑话短句(中文式英语搞笑整句话)

本文目录一览:

搞笑英语带翻译短句

1.有趣的英语句子翻译

We are grazing ,the sheep in the next field. 我们在吃草,羊在旁边的地里。

英语中的逗号作用大着了。 1)As is known to everybody, the moon travels round the earth once every week。

=It is known to everybody that the moon travels round the earth once every week。 2)I send you 100 dollars today, the rest to follow in a year. =I send you 100 dollars today, and the rest will follow in a year.。

2.搞笑的英语句子

老妈叫我翻译!!!(超强爆笑)

今天我正在看碟,老妈又捧了本书进来,说道:给我讲讲这几句话什么意思

老妈:这个“i don't know.“是什么意思?

我说:“我不知道”

老妈:送你上大学上了几年,你怎么什么都不知道!!

我说:不是!就是“我不知道”吗!

老妈:还嘴硬!!!!$@%!#$^%#$%@$%@#$%!^%^!^%$^#..(一顿爆揍)

老妈:你在给我说说这个。“i know.“是什么意思你该知道吧,给我说说。

我说:是“我知道“

老妈:知道就快说。

我说:就是“我知道“

老妈:找茬呀你?刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不?

我说:就是我知道呀!

老妈:知道你还不说!!不懂不要装懂!*$%^@$#!%$@^%#*$^^^##$%(又一顿爆揍)

老妈:你给我小心点,花那么多钱送你上大学,搞的现在什么都不会,会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱,再问你最后一个,你给我好好解释一下,说不出来我在收拾你,你给我翻译一下“i know but i don't want to tell you.“是什么意思?

我晕倒,拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下,用头撞墙四十多下,双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下,用腿踢桌子角六十多下,血肉模糊之时,我问老妈:这下你满意吧

这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`m very annoyance,don`t tuouble me .是什么意思啊~?“

我:“我很烦,别烦我“

老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)

老妈又问;“i hear nothing,repeat. 是what意思啊“

我说:“我没听清,再说一次“

老妈又说了一遍:i hear nothing,repeat“

“我没听清,再说一次“

结果被扁

老妈再问:“what do you say “又怎么解释呢“

我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁)

老妈再问:“look up in the dictionary“是何意啊'

我说:“查字典“

“查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)

老妈又问:you had better ask some body.怎么翻呢“

我说:“你最好问别人“

“你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“

“啊!god save me !“

“上帝救救我吧!”

“耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)

我再问你:“use you head,then think it over,又是什么意思啊!“

我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“

“臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手

我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”

“嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”

3.英语小笑话带翻译

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"。

4.几个超搞笑的英语小笑

Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite。

The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies。 But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down。

谁更有礼貌? 一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。 瘦子说他更有礼貌,因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。

但是胖子认为他更有风度,因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时,总有两位女士能坐下。 Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea? A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys。

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。

这个答案很有意思吧?。

5.英语搞笑句子

Moneyisnoteverything.There'sMastercardVisa.

钞票不是万能的,有时还需要信用卡。

Oneshouldloveanimals.Theyaresotasty.

每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。

Savewater.Showerwithyourgirlfriend.

要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。

Lovetheneighbor.Butdon'tgetcaught.

要用心去爱你的邻居,不过不要让她的老公知道。

Behindeverysuccessfulman,thereisawoman.Andbehindeveryunsuccessfulman,therearetwo.

每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个。

Everymanshouldmarry.Afterall,happinessisnottheonlythinginlife.

再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚,幸福不是永久的嘛。

Childreninbackseatscauseaccidents.Accidentsinbackseatscausechildren.

后排座位上的小孩会生出意外,后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。

"Yourfuturedependsonyourdreams."Sogotosleep.

“现在的梦想决定着你的将来”,所以还是再睡一会吧。

Thereshouldbeabetterwaytostartadaythanwakingupeverymorning.

应该有更好的方式开始新一天,而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。

"Hardworkneverkilledanybody."Butwhytaketherisk?"

“努力工作不会导致死亡!”不过我不会用自己去证明。

"Workfascinatesme."Icanlookatitforhours!"

“工作好有意思耶!”尤其是看着别人工作。

Whentwo'scompany,three'stheresult!

两个人的状态是不稳定的,三个人才是

6.急需100句有趣的英语句子(有翻译)

a bird in the hand is worth two the bush 一鸟在手,胜似二鸟在林 a blank slate 干净的黑板(新的一页,新的开始) a bone to pick 可挑剔的骨头(争端,不满) a cat nap 打个盹儿 a chip off the old block 大木头上砍下来的小木片(子肖其父) a chip on one's shoulder 肩头的木片(自卑感,因为自卑而爱找别人麻烦;喜欢向人挑衅) a ouch potato 躺椅上的马铃薯(懒鬼) a cake walk 走去吃糕(易事) a headache 头痛(麻烦事) a knock out 击倒(美得让人倾倒) a load off my mind 心头大石落地 a nut 傻子,疯子 a pain in the neck 脖子疼(苦事) a piece of cake 一块蛋糕(小菜一碟,易事一件) a pig 猪猡 a shot in the dark 盲目射击(瞎猜) a short fuse 引线短(脾气火爆) a sinking ship 正在下沉的船 a slam dunk 灌篮(轻而易举的事) a slap in the face 脸上挨了一耳光(公然受辱) a smoke screen 烟幕 a social butterfly 社交蝴蝶(善于交际,会应酬的人) a stick in the mud 烂泥中的树枝 a thick skin 厚脸皮 a thorn in someone's side 腰上的荆棘(芒刺在背) a turn coat 反穿皮袄的人(叛徒) an uphill battle 上坡作战(在逆境中求胜) a weight off my shoulders 放下肩头重担 ace 得满分(得到完美的结果) all ears 全是耳朵(洗耳恭听) all thumbs 满手都是大拇指(笨手笨脚) an ace up my sleeve 袖里的王牌 an open and shut case明显的事件 ants in one's pants 裤裆里有蚂蚁(坐立不安) back in the saddle重上马鞍(重整旗鼓) back on track重上轨道(改过自新) backfire逆火(弄巧成拙,适得其反) ball and chain 铁球铁链,甜蜜的枷(老婆) beat a dead horse 鞭打死马令其奔驰(徒劳) beaten by the ugly stick 被丑杖打过(生得难看) beggar can't be choosers 讨饭的谈不上挑三拣四 bet on it 下这一注稳赢(有把握,无疑)bet your life 把命赌上(绝对错了) better half 我的另一半 between a rack and a hard place 进退维谷(前有狼后有虎) big headed 大脑袋(傲慢,自大) bigger fish to fry 有更大的鱼要炸(有更重要的事要办) bite off more than one can chew 贪多嚼不烂 bite the bullet 咬子弹(强忍痛苦) birds of a feather flock together 羽毛相同的鸟总飞成一群(物以类聚) blow up in you face 在眼前爆炸(事情完全弄砸了) bologna 胡说,瞎说 break a let 折断一条腿(表演真实,演出成功) break the ice 破冰(打破僵局) bright聪明,灵光 brown nose 讨好,谄媚 bug somebody 使人讨厌 bull in a china shop 瓷器店里的蛮牛(笨拙的人,动辄弄坏东西的人) bump into 撞上(巧遇) burn brides 烧桥(过河拆桥) burst your bubble 扎破泡泡(打破人的幻想,煞风景) bury one's head in the sand把头埋在沙里(自欺欺人) butterfingers奶油手指(抓不稳东西的人) butterflies in my stomach肚里有只蝴蝶(心里紧张,七上八下) buy the farm买下农场(归道山,死了) call it a night一日事毕,可以睡觉了 can't teach an old dog new tricks老狗学不会新把戏 cash in my chips兑换筹码(睡觉,就寝) chicken鸡(胆小鬼) circle the wagons把篷车围成一圈(严阵以待) clean up one's act自我检点,自我改进 come down in bucket倾盆大雨 come down in sheets整片整片地下(倾盆大雨) cool your lips冷静下来 cost someone an arm and a leg要花上一条胳膊一条腿(代价昂贵) count on something /doing something 这事靠得住 count your chickens before they hatch 蛋还没孵化,先数小鸡 crock 破瓦片(无用之物,废话) cross the line 跨过线(做得太过分了) cross that bridge when we come to it 到了桥头就过桥(船到桥头自然直) cry over spilled milk 为泼了牛奶而哭(为过去的失败而懊丧cushion the blow 给垫着点儿(说话绵软一点,以免打太重) cut to the chase 抄捷径去追猎物(不绕圈子,开门见山,单刀直入) daily grind 例行苦事,每天得干的苦工 days are numbered 来日无多 dead center 正当中 deadend street 死路,死巷子 A bad beginning makes a bad ending. 不善始者不善终。

A bad thing never dies. 遗臭万年。 A bad workman always blames his tools. 不会撑船怪河弯。

A bird in the hand is worth than two in the bush. 一鸟在手胜过双鸟在林。 A boaster and a liar are cousins-german. 吹牛与说谎本是同宗。

A bully is always a coward. 色厉内荏。 A burden of one's choice is not felt. 爱挑的担子不嫌重。

A candle lights others and consumes itself. 蜡烛照亮别人,却毁灭了自己。 A cat has 9 lives. 猫有九条命。

A cat may look at a king. 猫也可以打量国王,意为人人平等。 A close mouth catches no flies. 病从口入。

A constant guest is never welcome. 常客令人厌。 Actions speak louder than words. 事实胜于雄辩。

Adversity leads to prosperity. 穷则思变。 Adversity makes a man wise, not rich. 逆境出人才。

A fair death honors the whole life. 死得其所,流芳百世。 A faithful friend is hard to find. 知音难觅。

A fall into a pit, a gain in your wit. 吃一堑,长一智。 A fox may grow gray, but never。

7.英语笑话,带翻译(短)

Stranger: Catch any fish?

Fisherman: Did I! I took forty out of this stream this morning.

Stranger: Know who I am? I'm the game warden.

Fisherman: Know who I am? I'm the biggest liar in the state.

陌生人:钓到鱼了吗?

钓鱼者:我是谁?一早晨我就在这条小溪钓到了40多条鱼呢。

陌生人:你知道我是谁吗?我是这里的渔猎执行官。

钓鱼者:那你知道我是谁吗?我是全国最大的说谎者。

8.英语短笑话带翻译

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人:哦,

亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with

the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents

more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。

“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老

太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

The Perfect Son.

A: I have the perfect son.

B: Does he smoke?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he drink whiskey?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: Does he ever come home late?

A: No, he doesn't.

B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

完美儿子

A:我有一个很完美的儿子.

B:他抽烟吗?

A:不抽.

B:他喝威士忌酒吗?

A:不喝.

B:他会不会很晚回家?

A:不会.

B:我想你确实有一个完美儿子. 那他多大了?

A:下个星期三就满6个月了.

9.英语小笑话带翻译

my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人:哦,

亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。

老师:请说说看。

学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

呵呵,尽量能帮得到你~

英文译中文的幽默短句

1. 英文句子搞笑谐音中文

Room out high people 世外高人

When the moonhas its ownlook up 明月几时有 自己抬头瞅

I am not a casual person,but it is not people casually 我不是随便的人,但随便起来就不是人

Other people's road,let others have no way out. 走别人的路,让别人无路可走

Water to pure have no fish,people are invincible to 水至清则无鱼,人至贱则无敌

Give me a girl,Ican create a nation 给我一个姑娘,我可以创造一个民族

I want to love,butalready late. 我想早恋,但是已经晚了

Money is not a problem,the problem is no money 钱不是问题,问题是没钱

够不够呢 ,,嗯哼?!

2. 幽默的英文句子

【第一条】英文:Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.中文:考试害了多少个孩子,让多少诚实的孩子学会了作弊。

【第二条】英文:For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.中文:对于美女,看两眼就行,转身告诉自己,我老婆比她们都好。【第三条】英文:Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.中文:你有没有发现,那些讨厌你的人,长得都特别丑。

【第四条】英文:Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.中文:自从会玩QQ后,我发现我拼音越来越好了,读书都没这效果。【第五条】英文:I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.中文:我空有一身泡妞的本事,可惜自己是个妞。

【第六条】英文:I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke!中文:我抽的不是烟,也不是寂寞,是二手烟!【第七条】英文:Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.中文:考试有人靠的是实力,而我靠的是丰富的想象力。【第八条】英文:Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run.中文:国外:思想和才能才是王道,国内:关系和马屁才能横行。

【第九条】英文:The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary.中文:听到老师说又要开始罚钱,我就知道是他工资花完了。【第十条】英文:The man called the romantic love rich, rich in the coquettish woman.中文:男人情史丰富那叫风流,女人情史丰富那叫风骚。

【第十一条】英文:One, two people, three person is to fight at outrance.中文:一个人快活,两个人生活,三个人就是你死我活。【第十二条】英文:Grandpa Mao said, not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying.中文:毛爷爷说,不以结婚为目的的搞对象都是耍流氓。

【第十三条】英文:Brother, you have to face the resolution is good?中文:大哥,把你脸上的分辨率调低点好吗?【第十四条】英文:In heaven there is no white out the pie, but white out the bricks.中文:天上没有白掉的馅饼,倒有白掉的砖头。【第十五条】英文:Ideals are like the pants, have, but not everyone can go to prove that you have!中文:理想就像内裤,要有,但不能逢人就去证明你有!【第十六条】英文:More to their fucking great time also can not compare with idiot years.中文:再多各自牛逼的时光 也比不上一起傻逼的岁月。

【第十七条】英文:Thinking of how far, how far you roll; light how fast, how fast you roll.中文:思想有多远,你就滚多远;光速有多快,你就滚多快。【第十八条】英文:Chinese two big characteristics: one, don't love the truth; two, do not want to hear the truth.中文:中国人就两大特点:一,不爱说实话;二,不爱听实话。

【第十九条】英文:You look very Chinese, very dedicated, very backbone.中文:你长的很爱国,很敬业,很有骨气。【第二十条】英文:Germany is the only woman, I think I must be too mean.中文:女子无才便是德,我想我一定是太缺德了。

【第二十一条】英文:If you don't like brother talk about conscience, I did not, a few days just donated.中文:你丫别跟哥谈良心,哥没有,上几天刚捐了。【第二十二条】英文:Go go go, don't waste the youth the two words, you are already the beginning of autumn.中文:去去去,别糟蹋青春那两字了,你都已经立秋了。

【第二十三条】英文:Women have two mouths, a mouth is a, a mouth to eat.中文:女人有俩张嘴,一张嘴道是非,一张嘴会吃人。【第二十四条】英文:In fact, the day classes can be short, the computer opening and closing the past.中文:其实,一天班可短暂了,电脑一开一关就过去了。

【第二十五条】英文:You have learned at school all forget, the rest is quality.中文:把你们在学校所学的知识统统忘掉,剩下的7a686964616fe78988e69d8331333361316664就是素质。【第二十六条】英文:Living half are bad luck, the other half is how to handle it.中文:活的一半是倒霉,另一半是如何处理倒霉。

【第二十七条】英文:Life can not cook, all the materials are ready was the pot.中文:人生不能像做菜,把所有的料都准备好才下锅。【第二十八条】英文:First scroll: Live meaningless, the second line of a couplet: Dutch act no courage, horizontal batch: white go back.中文:上联:活着没意义,下联:自杀没勇气,横批:白走一回。

【第二十九条】英文:My principle is: the person does not make me, I do not prisoners; if the person make me, I will get angry!中文:我的原则是:人不犯我,我不犯人;人若犯我,我就生气!【第三十条】英文:After today, do not meet again, I am afraid to wake up every day to beat you many times.中文:过完了今天,就不要再见面,我害怕每天醒来揍你好几遍。【第三十一条】英文:What I want, is shameless. What t。

3. 幽默英语(要中文翻译)小笑话

1:A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多." 2:英: You can't go without me The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him. "Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts. "It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him. "But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says. 译: 没有我你们走不了 公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路. "喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道. "车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说. "但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道. 3:Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。

这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。

如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” 4:Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。

这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。

客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”

那小男孩说。 5:Dear white, something you got to know When I was born, I was black.When I grow up, I am blackWhen I'm under the sun, I'm blackWhen I'm cold, I'm blackWhen I'm afraid, I'm black. When I'm sick, I'm black.When I die, I'm still black.you---white people,When you were born, you were pink.When you grow up, you become white.You're red under the sun.You're blue when you're cold.You are yellow when you're afraid.You're green when you're sick.You're gray when you die.And you, call me "color"? 亲爱的白种人,有几件事你必须知道。

当我出生时,我是黑色的我长大了,我是黑色的我在阳光下,我是黑色的我寒冷时,我是黑色的我害怕时,我是黑色的我生病了,我是黑色的当我死了,我仍是黑色的。你---白种人,当你出生时,你是粉红色的。

你长大了,变成白色的。你在阳光下,你是红色的。

你寒冷时,你是青色的。你害怕时,你是黄色的。

你生病时,你是绿色的。当你死时,你是灰色的。

而你,却叫我「有色人种」? 6:Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!” “是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。

那爸爸去哪儿了呢?” 哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。” 7:How Many Rabbits? Teacher: Now, Jonathan, if I gave you three rabbits and then the next day I gave you five rabbits, how many rabbits would you have? Jonathan: Nine, sir. Teacher: Nine? Jonathan: I've got one already, sir. 多少只兔子? 老师:好,乔纳森,假如我给你三只兔子,第二天我又给你五只,你一共有多少只兔子? 乔纳森:一共有九只,先生。

老师:九只? 乔纳森:先生,我本来就有一只。 8:These Are My Jeans After going on a diet,a woman felt 。

4. 英语笑话带翻译

I Wasn't Asleep When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!" "I wasn't asleep," the man answered. "Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed." "I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car." 我没有睡着 当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。

售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:“先生,醒醒!” “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?” “我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”The poor husband"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿? 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!” “是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。

那爸爸去哪儿了呢?” 哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。”Does the dog know the proverb, too? The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog. "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?" "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?" 狗也知道这个谚语吗? 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’” “啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?” 一 Can we have our teacher back? Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?" 能让我们的老师回去吗? 有一次,一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。

一间教室非常吵闹,因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人,把他带进另一间教室,并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后,一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来,问道,“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢?” 二 Who's More Polite? A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down. 谁更有礼貌? 一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。

瘦子说他更有礼貌,因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度,因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时,总有两位女士能坐下。

三 Expensive Price Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth. Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction. Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office. 昂贵的代价 牙科医生:对不起,夫人,为给您的儿子拔牙,我得收二十五美元。 母亲:二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀? 牙科医生:是的。

但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤,他都吓跑四位病人了。

5. 英语笑话带翻译

Father:do you know?Today is a great occasion of nation stanza, the anti- day is also successful!

Son:??Great occasion of nation stanza?Is just Chinese?

Father:do you guess a foreign country to have?

Son:this I also don't know, affirming is "the country is disgusted with stanza"!

Father:。。

爸爸:你知道吗?今天是国庆节,抗日也成功啦!

儿子:??国庆节?只是中国的吗?

爸爸:你猜猜外国有没有?

儿子:这我还不知道,肯定是\"国厌节\"啦!

爸爸:。

6. 急求一则英语幽默笑话,附中文翻译(尽量简短)

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

7. 求几个英文幽默段子(要中文翻译,最好是发生在我们身边的事)

I`ve Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes,dear," she replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I`ve just bitten my tongue!"

我刚咬了自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗?”一条年幼的蛇问它的妈妈。

“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”

“因为我刚刚咬了自己的舌头!”

中式英语搞笑有哪些?

综述:

1、Know is know, no know is no know, it's know. 不知道的还以为是英语绕口令,其实这句话翻译自孔子的“知之为知之,不知为不知,是知也”。

2、No three no four. 这句话对大部分网友来说是不是非常清楚明白呢?

3、If you want money, I have none; If you want life, I have one. 这句话听起来还蛮想一句诗的,挺押韵。实际上也非常霸气,“要钱没有,要命一条”。

中式英语(Chinglish)指带有汉语词汇、语法、表达习惯的英语,是一种具有中国特色的语言。

在使用英语时,因受汉语思维方式或文化的影响而拼造出不符合英语表达习惯的,具有中国特征的英语。这是中国人在学习英语过程中出现的,是必然的一种语言现象。

随着英语在中国已经成了一个流行的话题,许多新鲜事也跟着出来了。俄罗斯新闻公布全球语言监听会公布的2005全球最流行的十个词汇清单,Chinglish位列第四位。

搞笑中式英文句子

我最早接触到的“中式英语”是:I give you same colour see see!(我给你点颜色看看!)

现在“中式英语”比比皆是,“long time no see”(很久不见),“Good good study,day day up”(好好学习,天天向上),知名度很高。

自1994年以来加入国际英语行列的词汇中,中式英语贡献了5%至20%,超过任何其他来源;中式英语“long time no see”(很久不见)已成为标准英文词组。

当中国人发明了“good good study,day day up”(好好学习,天天向上)后,这个看起来有些雷人的词汇就带领着Chinglish(中式英语)一路前进。

中式英语引国外追随者

中式英语指的是那种语法不对、拼写错误带有中文习惯的英语,主要见之于中国许多地方的标牌。

瑞克是中式英语的坚定拥趸,他坚称,自己对中式英语的兴趣是出于“喜欢而非嘲笑”,大多数网民似乎也抱这样的态度,他们喜爱而不是鄙夷中式英语。

将来老外也会用day day up

今年,互联网上曾展开了一项“票选十大中式英语”调查,结果显示“Good good study,day day up”(好好学习,天天向上)以3417票高居榜首。

有媒体统计,7成参加投票的网友表 示赞成中式英语的使用,认为中式英语既有趣又被大家口耳相传,将来老外也会这么用。全球语言监督会主席帕亚克曾对媒体表示,由于中国经济增长的影响,它现在对国际英语的冲击比英语国家还大。1994年以来加入国际英语行列的词汇中,中式英语贡献了5%至20%,超过任何其他来源。

long time no see是标准英文词组

在对待中式英语的态度上,一些外国人并没有觉得它们是严重的错误,他们的观点是:有趣,甚至有意义。一种语言在使用过程中必定会入乡随俗、受到使用者的影响,不管其母语使用者是否同意。中式英语“long time no see”(很久不见)已成为标准英文词组。

一位中文名为纪韶融的德国青年非常来劲,他还出了本名为《日常生活中的中式英语》的书。在纪韶融看来,如果以后有朋自远方到中国来,再也看不到“Wel─come to Presence”(欢迎光临)这样的中式英语,而只剩下一个干巴巴的Welcome,那将是多么的索然无味。他还在著作里颇具善意地分析了中式英语产生的原因。他认为,不管是汉语拼音,还是中式英语,都是一种装饰,不必太认真。

英语幽默对话短句

1.英语小笑话,简短

He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗? 约翰尼:他害病卧床了。

他受了伤。 汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿? 约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?” “一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。

“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。

“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?” “她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!" 醉酒 一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。

他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。”

“可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。

过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。

你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。

英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的 一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.。

2.简单搞笑的英语对话

你选选吧

经典对话一:

男:Can I buy you a drink?(我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?)

女:Actually I'd rather have the money.(不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱。)

经典对话二:

男:Can I have your name?(直译:我能有你的名字吗?)

女:Why? Don't you already have one? (为什么?你不是已经有一个了吗?)

经典对话三:

男:I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

女:I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)

经典对话四:

男:Is this seat empty?(直译:这个座位是空的吧?)

女:Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的。)

经典对话五:

男:Haven't I seen you some place before?(我好像以前在什么地方见过你?)

女:Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)

经典对话六:

男:Will you go out with me this Saturday?(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗?)

女:Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼。)

经典对话七:

男:I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。)

女:Why? Are you leaving?(是吗?你是说你要离开?)

3.有没有非常实用的英语句子

999句最实用英语口语! 1。

I see. 我明白了。 2。

I quit! 我不干了! 3。 Let go! 放手! 4。

Me too. 我也是。 5。

My god! 天哪! 6。 No way! 不行! 7。

Come on. 来吧(赶快) 8。 Hold on. 等一等。

9。 I agree。

我同意。 10。

Not bad. 还不错。 11。

Not yet. 还没。 12。

See you. 再见。 13。

Shut up! 闭嘴! 14。 So long. 再见。

15。 Why not? 好呀! (为什么不呢?) 16。

Allow me. 让我来。 17。

Be quiet! 安静点! 18。 Cheer up! 振作起来! 19。

Good job! 做得好! 20。 Have fun! 玩得开心! 21。

How much? 多少钱? 22。 I'm full. 我饱了。

23。 I'm home. 我回来了。

24。 I'm lost. 我迷路了。

25。 My treat. 我请客。

26。 So do I. 我也一样。

27。 This way。

这边请。 28。

After you. 您先。 29。

Bless you! 祝福你! 30。 Follow me. 跟我来。

31。 Forget it! 休想! (算了!) 32。

Good luck! 祝好运! 33。 I decline! 我拒绝! 34。

I promise. 我保证。 35。

Of course! 当然了! 36。 Slow down! 慢点! 37。

Take care! 保重! 38。 They hurt. (伤口)疼。

39。 Try again. 再试试。

40。 Watch out! 当心。

41。 What's up? 有什么事吗? 42。

Be careful! 注意! 43。 Bottoms up! 干杯(见底)! 44。

Don't move! 不许动! 45。 Guess what? 猜猜看? 46。

I doubt it 我怀疑。 47。

I think so. 我也这么想。 48。

I'm single. 我是单身贵族。 49。

Keep it up! 坚持下去! 50。 Let me see.让我想想。

51。 Never mind.不要紧。

52。 No problem! 没问题! 53。

That's all! 就这样! 54。 Time is up. 时间快到了。

55。 What's new? 有什么新鲜事吗? 56。

Count me on 算上我。 57。

Don't worry. 别担心。 58。

Feel better? 好点了吗? 59。 I love you! 我爱你! 60。

I'm his fan。 我是他的影迷。

想看更详尽的内容,请查看乐知网的网友课程 。

4.来个搞笑的英语对话

Jack:Tom,who do you think the man with a yellow straw hat on the stool in front of the palm trees? Tom:I guess he must be a fortune teller。

Jack:Are you sure? Tom:Yes,without a doubt。 You see he is looking forward to talking to someone。

Jack:Maybe you are right。 But Tom, can you read the palm? Tom:Yes, I have read a lot of books about reading the palm。

May I read your palm? Jack: Yes,I'd love to。 But I want to make fun of him。

It is very funny。

中式英语幽默笑话短句(中文式英语搞笑整句话)插图

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