笑话哦本文目录一览：
- 1、英文笑话小短文
- 2、英语简单笑话短文
- 3、好笑的英语笑话小短文
英文笑话小短文
笑话是内容丰富并具有出乎意料结尾的幽默口头 故事 。笑话几乎涵盖人们生活的所有领域,其中包括政治笑话、经济笑话、家庭生活笑话、关于民族性格的笑话等。 下面是我带来的经典 英语笑话 阅读，欢迎阅读!
经典英语笑话阅读篇一
泡泡温泉(双语阅读)
a:tom,look at your shoes.how dirty they are! you must clear hem.
汤姆，看看你的鞋子，多脏呀，你必须洗一洗了。
b:oh.mother,but i cleaned them only yesterday.
噢，妈妈，可我昨天才洗过的。
a:but they are dirty now.you must clean them again.
可现在它们又脏了，你再洗一次吧。
b:i don't want to clean them today. even if i clean them today,they will be dirty again tomorrow.
我今天不想洗，我即使今天把鞋洗了，明天还会脏的。
a:ok,don't clean them then.
好吧，那就别洗了。
(ln the evening tom came back from school.he was very hungry.
晚上汤姆放学回到家，他非常饿。)
经典英语笑话阅读篇二
喂养宠物(双语阅读)
Birds in their little nests agree.
鸟在巢中不相争。
A small child was giving a bath to a tiny and dirty kitten in the gar-den. while an ojd lady passing by.
一个小男孩在花园里给一只身上很脏的小花猫洗澡，正在这时，一个上了年纪的女士从旁边经过。
A:Sonny.you shouldn't bathe a kitty in cold waLer.He will get sick and die.
小家伙，你不应该在凉水中给小猫洗澡，他会生病,甚至会死。
(The child go on with his job.barely liatening to her.Two houra Wer,the lacjy was retumiWg when ahe saw the boy sittinS on the ground and cring.with the dead kitten lying beaide him.
可是，小男孩继续给小猫洗澡，几乎对那位女士置之不理。两小时以后，那位女士返回时看见那个小男孩坐在地上哭泣，小猫躺在他的身旁，死了。)
B:Didn't I tell you .sonny.that the kitty would die if you wa.shed him in the cold water?
小家伙，我不是告诉休了吗?如果在凉水中给小猫洗澡，他会死的。
A:But Auntie. he didn't die because I waahed him; he died when I was wrinpng him dry.
可是，阿姨，他不是因为我给它洗澡死的，当我把他拧于时，他就死了。
经典英语笑话阅读篇三
戒除烟瘾(双语阅读)
Health is not valued till sickness comes.
生病才知健康好。
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.
一个被告卷入了一桩牵涉大笔资金的诉讼案，他去找他的律师。
A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.
如果我输了这场官司，我就完了。
B:It's in the judge's hand now.
这事掌握在法官的手上。
A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?
如果我给法官送一箱雪茄，会不会起点作用?
B:Oh.no !This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn't even smile ai the judge.
哦.不会的!这位法官很固执，非常注意职业道德。这种花招只会让他对你产生偏见，他甚至会认为你蔑视法庭。事实上，你甚至都不用对他微笑。
With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae,
最后，法官作了一个有利于被告的判决，当被告离开法院时。
A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked.
谢谢你关于雪茄的忠告，这很多管用。
B:I'm sure we wodd have lost the caae if you'd sent them.
如果你送了的话，我肯定休会输掉这场官司。
A:But did send them.
但是我的确送了。
B:What? You did?!
什么?你送了?!
A:Yes.That's how we won the case.
对，这就是我们会赢这场官司的原因。
B:I don't understand
我不明白。
A:It's easy.I sent the cigars to the judge,but enclosed the plaintiff's business card.
这很简单，我把雪茄送到了{去官那里，但是附上了原告的一张名片。
英语简单笑话短文
下面是我整理的英语简单笑话短文，希望大家会喜欢!
英语简单笑话短文：All Except the Music除了音乐
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”
“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐 其它 都很好。”
英语简单笑话短文：I don't think I know-我不知道啊
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"‘
老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。约翰：“我想我不知道”。
英语简单笑话短文：迟到的原因The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
老 师：约翰尼，为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼：每当我经过学校附近的拐角处，就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。
英语简单笑话短文：人们什么时候说话最少?When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生甲：人们在什么时候说话最少?学生乙：在二月。学生甲：为什么呢?学生乙：因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
英语简单笑话短文："孩子"的复数形式
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的复数形式老师：汤姆，‘男人’这个词的复数形式是什么?
汤姆：男人们。老师：答得好。那‘孩子’的复数形式呢?汤姆：双胞胎。
英语简单笑话短文：除了音乐All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?""Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐，就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象，她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候，她问小萨莉：“你今天玩得好吗?”“噢，好极了，小姐，” 萨莉说，“除了音乐其它都很好。”
英语简单笑话短文：迟到
My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指头老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
英语简单笑话短文：天气怎么样
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西兰的气候老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。老师：错了。马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
英语简单笑话短文：Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
一位学生对另一位说：“你的 英语 最近学的怎么样?”“很好，我过去不懂英国人说话，可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”
英语简单笑话短文：狗也知道这个 谚语 吗?
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”
知道"Family"这个单词的含义吗?
知道"Family"这个单词的含义吗? 爸 F ather和 A nd妈 M other我 I爱 L ove你 Y ou爸妈我爱你=家庭。
Englishi搞笑读法
小时侯上学，把“English” 读为“应给利息”的同学当了银行行长;读为“阴沟里洗”的成了菜贩子;读为“因果联系”的成了哲学家;读为“硬改历史”的成了政治家; 读为“英国里去”的成了海外华侨;而我，不小心读成了“应该累死”结果成了打工的!
好笑的英语笑话小短文
民间笑话的根本功能在于引人发笑,在这个使人紧张而倍感压抑的商品经济时代,笑话成了抚慰人焦灼灵魂的一剂良药。下面是我带来的好笑的 英语笑话 小短文，欢迎阅读!
好笑的英语笑话小短文篇一
Fame and hardwork
名声与艰苦劳动
During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag.
海湾战争期间，我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗，她请房子的维修工—一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时，他说，他帮助挂美国国旗，无论如何都不该收钱。
Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph.
珍妮来到当地报杜，就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时，他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章，是她使他成为了名人。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名。
"I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.”
他回答说:“那我可没时间，挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。”
好笑的英语笑话小短文篇二
Home alone
独自在家
My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from,knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped.
我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫，随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了，她这才松了口气。
The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!"
第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱，那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。”
好笑的英语笑话小短文篇三
Peter decides the grade
彼得的长相决定了分数
One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.
我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-.
The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous."
那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。”
The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.
第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说:“好，可以得A-。”
好笑的英语笑话小短文篇四
Being considerate
善解人意
I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.
像大多数的青少年一样，我刚学会开车时，总想利用一切开车的机会。有一次家庭外出度假时，我经过请求，爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。我感到十分荣幸，直到开到了一个急转弯，由于转盘转动得太大，车直奔着加油站的 广告 牌冲去。我停下了车，等着挨训。
My father，always considerate of his children's feelings，turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?"
我的父亲总是考虑到孩子哟情绪，转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿，有人想上厕所吗?”
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