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拿破仑报道笑话(拿破仑报道笑话大全)

本文目录一览:

百年前被英国人当笑话,如今却成真!拿破仑对中国评价的那一句话是什么?

拿破仑评价中国是一只沉睡雄狮,一旦被惊醒,世界将为之震动。1816年,英国使者拜见清朝皇帝,想进入中国国内发展经济。在当时西方国家已经开始了大跃进,所以在他们看来打开中国国门是迟早的事情。可惜这个使者还没见到嘉庆皇帝就被赶了出去,因为他不愿行跪礼。当时中国处于封建时期,封建社会皇帝是最大的。不愿意给皇帝下跪,被丢出去也是想象之中。

在他们靠脑力解决不了的问题时,就想要靠物力解决。想到中国的各个方面都不如英国,商议以后一致决定用武力打开中国国门。1817年时,使者的船只在海上遭遇海盗,触礁后辗转到了圣赫勒拿岛,而当时拿破仑就是被囚禁在这个岛上的。使者知道拿破仑被囚禁在这座岛上时便立刻便去向他讨教面对中国应该是如何对策。他以为拿破仑会给他很多建议和方法,却没有想到他对他说:中国是头沉睡的雄狮,等它醒过来,世界都会为之发抖。

在拿破仑的眼中,中国人是一头还未醒来的雄狮。或许因为这个原因,他的队伍从未想踏入中国的领土。可因为当时的中国在沉睡着,阿美士德这位使者更加坚定了要乘机打劫的决心,想要在中国直接醒不来。鸦片战争爆发后,中国的国门彻底被打开了,由于中国长期闭关锁国,各方面的落后,在面对英国的战争时,签订了一系列的不平等条约,还沦为了半殖民半封建的国家。

曾经的中国在沉睡着,但是,现在的中国便是一头苏醒的雄狮。并且震撼着世界。中国的崛起早已势不可当。如有想法,大家可一起探讨。

拿破仑阅兵笑话的英文版

A story is told about a Swede who wanted to join Napoleon’s Grand Army. One evening some of Napoleon’s soldiers were drinking together when a young Frenchman brought friend to their table. He expained that his friend was a Swede and knew no French, but this Swede admired Napoleon so much that he wanted to join the French army and fight for him.

The soldiers looked up and saw a tall young man with blue eyes, a friendly face, strong arms and broad shoulders. They like him at once.

The officers saw that he was just the right sort of man, so they accepted him and he became one of Napoleons soldiers. His new friends smoothed away the difficulties. He fought bravely in many battles and gained their respect. However, his knowledge of French remained very weak, because he was not good at learning languages, but this did not prevent him from fighting hard.

Several yaears later, word came that Napoleon himself was coming to inspect them, and the Swede was warned that the great man world probably ask him some question. There was some difficulty in expaining this to the Swede, but when at last he understood he became very anxious.

“The Swede won’t understand the questions.” One of the Frenchmen said, “What can he do?”

It was well know that Napoleon always asked the same three questions, I and usuall in the same order. The first question was, “How old are you?” The second was, “how long have you been in my army?” And the third was, “Did you serve in either of my last two campaigns?”

The Swede could not possibly remember all these words and so his friends decided to teach him only the answers in their proper order. They gave him a lot of practice. Whenever possible, one of them would stop him, make him stand at attention, and ask him the three questions. “How old are you?” he would demand, and the Swede would answer, “Twenty-three, sir.” Then his friend would ask, “How long have you been in my army?” and the Swede would answer, “Three years, sir.” To the third question, “Did you serve in either of my last two campaigns?” the Swede would answer with pride, “Both, sir!”

For many days this practice continued. The Swede would walk about, saying to himself, “Twenty-three, sir. Three years, sir. Both, sir!” Before the day of the inspection, his friends were satisfied. He knew his answer. There ought to be no trouble.

Napolen arrived. Stading in front of the straight lines of soldiers, he looked at them with great satisfaction. Then he began to walk along the lines, smiling sometimes, and saying a few word here and there. The Swede stood quite still, except that his lips moved slightly. He was still practicing.

Napoleon suddenly caught sight of the tall soldier and realized at once that he had never seen him before. He stopped in front of the Swede. For some reason, this time the great man began with the second question.

“How many years have you been in my army?” he demanded.

“Twenty-Three, sir,” said the Swede clearly and well.

Napoleon was surprised. He look at tall man and asked, “How old are you then?”

“Three years, sir,” replied the Swede quickly.

Napoleon was astonished. “Either you are mad, or I am,” he declared.

“Both, sir!” cried the Swede proudly.

绝对是原文

拿破仑报道笑话(拿破仑报道笑话大全)插图

关于拿破仑的一个笑话

关于拿破仑的笑话有很多,例如:

一、我随时可以消灭这个差距

拿破仑身高只有一米六几,有一次他在军中训话,有一个一米八几的将领在说小话,这人比拿破仑高一个脑袋还不止,但拿破仑很傲然地对他说了一句话:

‘将军,我希望你明白一个道理,虽然你和我的身高有一个脑袋的差距,但如果你不听从我的命令,我随时可以消灭这个差距’!

二、您比我长吗?

拿破仑身高不足1.7米,最怕人说他矮。

有一天,他想取书架上的一本书。因那书放得太高,他够不着,便叫人搬凳子来给他。

此时,一位刚好在那里的将军说:“陛下,不用抬凳子了,让我给您取吧,因为我比您高。”

“您是想说您比我长吗?”拿破仑当即予以纠正。

三、让傻瓜开心

拿破仑连年征战,给法国带来饥荒和灾难。为转移社会舆论的注意力,他设立了名目繁多的科学和文学特别奖,规定每10年颁一次。

为了获奖,法国知识界展开了激烈争夺,甚至形成了互相敌对的宗派和阵营。报上还连篇累牍地发表文章进行煽动,更如火上加油。

这种情况使一般读者大为开心,但最开心的还是拿破仑本人。有一天,拿破仑问航海家布于维尔:“您对这些争斗有何高见?”

布于维尔回答:“古代是让野兽打架来使聪明人开心,现在则是让聪明人争吵来使傻瓜开心。”(在法语中,‘野兽’与‘傻瓜’是同一个词。)

四、并非末世

拿破仑从俄罗斯败退时,曾在莫洛杰奇诺的奥丁城堡过夜。在离去之前,他在下榻处屋子里的一块石头上刻上了自己的名字:“拿破仑一世。”

几天之后,俄国将领库图佐夫率领追兵来到这里。也在同一间屋子住宿。他见了拿破仑的题名,便在后面加了两个字,使之成为“拿破仑一世末世。”库图佐夫虽料事如神,可这回的判断却错了。因为继拿破仑之后,还有拿破仑二世和拿破仑三世。

五、不看本国报纸

每天早上拿破仑理发修面时,都喜欢看报。但看的主要是英国和德国报纸,对法国报纸则根本不感兴趣。有人问他为什么要这样,他回答说:“我国报刊上登的东西,全是按我的旨意写的。”

关于拿破仑的笑话法文版

Napoléon III demandéUn suédois très admiré Napoléon, plus tard, il a finalement devenir un soldat de Napoléon.Une fois, lors d'un défilé de Napoléon, camarades de rappeler le suédois, le grand homme peut vous poser quelques questions.Ce code est très anxieux.Il a écouté la question proposée ne comprennent pas Napoléon!Un soldat âgé de dire: "Napoléon, toujours selon la même séquence poser trois de la même question.La première question est la suivante: "Quel âge as - tu?"La deuxième question est:" Tu me forces depuis combien de temps?"Troisième question:" Vous avez participé à l'un de mes deux guerres?"Suédois selon la séquence de retour sous les réponses à ces trois questions:" les 23 ans, Monsieur "."3 ans, Monsieur."" Oui, Monsieur."La révision de ce jour - là, Napoléon était à l'avant avec satisfaction, regardé les soldats.Ensuite, il a examiné, un moment de voir le visage de sourire, un peu de mots pour dire là - Bas.La Suède, immobile, seuls les lèvres en douceur.Napoléon a vue.Un grand homme marcher devant lui, a commencé à lui poser des questions.Malheureusement, la première question cette Napoléon demander "Tu me forces dans combien de temps?"23 ans, Monsieur"."Quel âge avez - vous?"3 ans, Monsieur."Répondre à la Suède à Napoléon surpris et en colère, elle cria:" Vous êtes fou, ou je suis fou?"" Oui, Monsieur ".La Suède a répondu avec fierté.

拿破仑de冷笑话

哈哈...日啊 1楼2楼的兄弟让我佩服的无法投递

是因为拿破仑是老是 有句古话说的好.老师的话信不得

以上只是开玩笑而已.

如果这问题是别人问你的

你就这么回答就行了 .反正他也是在开玩笑

拿破仑的小笑话有哪些

记着给分:

拿破仑三问

一个瑞典人非常钦佩拿破仑,后来他终于成为拿破仑的一名士兵。

一次,拿破仑检阅队伍时,战友们提醒瑞典人,那伟大的人也许会问你几个问题。这个典人十分焦急。他听不懂拿破仑所提的问题呀!一个年纪大的士兵说:"拿破仑总是按同样的顺序问三个同样的问题。第一个问题是:'你多大了?'第二个问题是:'你在我的部队多久了?'第三个问题是:'你是否参加过我两次大战的一个?'"瑞典人按顺序背下了这三个问题的答案:"23岁,先生"。"3年了,先生。""都是的,先生。"

检阅那天,拿破仑站在队伍前面,用满意的目光望着士兵们。然后,他开始检阅了,一会儿微笑着看这面儿,一会儿对那儿说句话。那瑞典一动不动地站着,只有嘴唇在轻轻地动着。拿破仑一眼看见了他。伟人走到他面前,开始问他问题。遗憾的是,这次拿破仑问的第一个问题是"你在我部队里多久了?""23岁,先生"。"你今年多大了?""3年了,先生。"瑞典人的回答使拿破仑既吃惊又生气,于是吼道:"是你疯了,还是我疯了?""都是的,先生"。瑞典人自豪地回答。

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