笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

超短英语小笑话带翻译(英语小笑话带翻译简短)

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英语短笑话带翻译

民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!

英语短笑话带翻译篇1

Liar,Liar

骗子,骗子

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.

老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。

The policeman asked her for a description.

警察要求,她形容一下。

She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."

她说:“他三十五岁,六尺四寸,黑眼睛,波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮,体重185磅,说话很轻,而且对小孩子很好。”

The next-door neighbor protested,

隔壁邻居期提出反驳说:

"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."

“你老公五尺四寸,胖嘟嘟 的,秃头,有一个太嘴巴,而且对你的小孩很刻薄。”

The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"

老婆回答说:“你说对了,可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?”

英语短笑话带翻译篇2

A Henpecked Husband

怕老婆的老公

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.

有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。

"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."

他说:“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。”

The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"

这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家,用力啪答一声关上门,在他老婆的面前:挥舞着拳头,并且大声咆哮说:

From now on you are talking orders from me.

“从现在起,你得乖乖听我的命令。

I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.

我现在就要吃晚餐,当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候,到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。

Tonight I am going out with my friends.

今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出,

You are going to stay at home where you belong.

你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。

Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"

另外还有一件事情,你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?”

I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."

老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。”

英语短笑话带翻译篇3

向你的烦恼说再见

A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。

Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "

那位犹太人对圣彼得说:“坦白讲,能到这里让我蛮惊讶的,我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”

"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."

“我们实在感到非常遗憾,”圣彼得说,“但我们这里没有那样的偏见,这里每个人都完全平等,只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”

the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"

那名犹太人正确地拼出God后,被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得,我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击,而且只能住在居留地内,我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”

"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "

“小兄弟,你的烦恼已经结束了,只要拼出God这个词,你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”

The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.

印第安人照着做,不久也被引入天堂。

Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"

接着那名黑人跨步向前,“圣彼得,”他说道,“一辈子人们都瞧不起我,不公平对待我,在这里那些事不会发生吧!”

"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "

“当然不会,我的弟兄,我们不会做那样的事,只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词,天堂之国就是你的了!”

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超短英语小笑话带翻译(英语小笑话带翻译简短)插图

短的英语笑话带翻译

短的英语笑话带翻译

   短的英语笑话带翻译一:

Walking up to a department store's fabric(织物,布) counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?""Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with asmirk(假笑,傻笑) . "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly(故意使人烦恼地) held it out.The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer(老家伙) standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

一个漂亮的女孩走到百货公司的布料柜台,说:“我想要买这种料子来做一条新裙子,多少钱?”“每码只需要一个吻。”男售货员说着,带着奸笑的表情“很好,”女孩说,“我要十码。”带着期待的.表情,售货员很快地量好了布料,包裹好,一脸奸笑地送了过来。女孩很快收起了包裹,微笑着指向了一个站在她身边的老头:“爷爷给我付账。”

短的英语笑话带翻译二:

When a student failed to solve a math problem in class, he expressed his regret to his teacher. "I remember solving the problem in my dream last night, but for the time being I've forgotten it . What can that mean?""It means that you are more intelligent in dreams than when you are awake," the teacher explained.

一名学生在班上没有做出老师的教学题,他感到很遗憾,对老师解释说:“我记得昨天夜里做梦对这道题解对了,但现在一时想不起来了。这说明什么?”“这说明你做梦的时候比你醒着的时候更聪明”。老师解释说。

短的英语笑话带翻译三:

A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom - flunked(不及格,失败) all courses. Kicked out of school. Prepare Pop."Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."

校园里流传着这样的故事:一个学生一次给父母拍了一份电报,上面写着:“妈妈,我所有功课都不及格,被学校开除。让爸爸做好准备。”两天以后,他收到了回电:“爸爸已准备好。你自己做好准备吧!”

;

英语笑话带翻译简短的

笑话是幽默的一个属概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。我整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译,欢迎阅读!

简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一

When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”

As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “C’mon, Steven, let’s get dirty . ”

我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候,总要招来大乱。一个星期六,我开始抗议了。“好啦,你们两个,”我严厉地说,“不许叫喊,不许乱拿,不许哭闹,不许乱敲,不许取笑,不许扯淡,不许弄坏玩具,不许乱抓,不许打架。” 我刚转身要走,就听我儿子说:“来,斯蒂文,我们来把自己弄脏吧。”

简短的英语笑话带翻译篇二

It’s Good to Admit a Fault

John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.

“John!” Teacher says angrily.

“What? What’s wrong?” John is awaken.

“Why do you make a face? It’s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.

“No one is laughing.” The others murmured.

“No, it’s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.

“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.

认错

约翰并不是个“好”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。

“约翰!”老师生气地喊他。

“什么?出什么事了?”约翰醒了。

“你为什么要做鬼脸?这是教室!看看!同学们都在笑!”老师生气地说。

“没有人在笑呀。”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。

“不,不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。”约翰感到不安。

“嗯,还不错。你承认自己的错误,还是给好孩子”老师为此感到满意。

简短的英语笑话带翻译篇三

Mark is a good boy,but he is not very clean.His face and hands always very dirty.

One day,Mark goes to school.His teacher looks at him and says:"Mark,I know what you eat today.""What?"Mark asks. "Eggs.your face and your mouth tell me that."

"No."Mark says,"not today,but the day before yesterday."

翻译:马克是个好男孩,但他不是很干净。他的手和脸总是很脏。

一天,马克去学校。他的老师看着他,说:“我知道你今天早上吃了什么。”“什么?”马克问道。“鸡蛋。你的脸和嘴告诉了我。”“不,”马克说,“不是今天,是前天。”

简单的英语小笑话带翻译

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"

"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Nest and Hair

My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.

"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.

"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.

"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .

"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair. "

Notes:

(1) inform v.告诉

(2) nest n.窝;巢

(3) description n.描述

(4) encourage v.鼓励

(5) resemble v. 相似;类似

18.鸟窝与头发

我姐姐是一位小学老师。一次一个学生告诉她说一只鸟儿在教室外 的树上垒了个窝。

“是什么鸟呢?”我姐姐问她。

“我没看到鸟儿,老师,只看到鸟窝。”那孩子回答说。

“那么,你能给我们描述一下这个鸟巢吗?”我姐姐鼓励她道。

“哦,老师,就像你的头发一样。”

I've Just Bitten My Tongue

"Are we poisonous?" the young snake asked his mother.

"Yes, dear," she replied - "Why do you ask?"

"Cause I've just bitten my tongue! "

Notes:

(1) poisonous adj.有毒的

(2) Cause I've just bitten my tongue 因为我刚咬了自己的舌头。 句中 Cause 是 Because 的缩略形式。

我刚咬破自己的舌头

“我们有毒吗?”一个年幼的蛇问它的母亲。

“是的,亲爱的,”她回答说,“你问这个干什么?”

“因为我刚刚咬破自己的舌头。”

A Woman Who Fell

It was rush hour and I was dashing to a train in New York City's Grand Central Terminal - As I neared the gate, a plump, middle-aged woman sprinted up from behind, lost her footing on the smooth marble floor and slid onto her back. Her momentum carried her close to my shoes. Before I could help her, however, she had scrambled up. Gaining her composure, she winked at me and said, "Do you always have beautiful women failing at your feet?"

摔倒的女人

上下班高峰期,我匆匆奔向纽约豪华中心站去赶一趟火车。接近门口,一位肥胖的中年妇女从后面冲过来,没想到在平滑的大理石地面上失了脚,仰面滑倒了。她的惯性使她接近了我的脚。我正准备扶她,她却自己爬了起来。她镇定了一下,对我挤了一下眉,说道:“总是有漂亮女人拜倒在你脚下吗?”

英语笑话(一)

Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?

A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.

猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢?你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢,那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤,而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧?

Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?

A: By treading on his corn?

如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物,他肯定会生气的;而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼,他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”,也有“鸡眼”的意思。

Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?

A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.

因为snail(蜗牛)的后背上总是背着一所房子,所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢?

Q: What do people do in a clock factory?

A: They make faces all day.

一看到make faces这个短语,你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀!因为除了这个意思以外,它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。

Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?

A: Keep him awake.

怎样才能不让梦游者(sleepwalker)梦游(walk in his sleep)呢?最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法,但如果让梦游者醒着呢,他的确就不会去梦游了。

英语笑话(二)

He is really somebody

-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

他真是一个大人物

-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?

-- 墓地守墓人。

英语笑话(三)

Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.

At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."

它们是从美国直接带来的

一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久,到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台,银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票,看是否有假。

这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦,最后实在忍耐不住说:“相信我,先生,也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元,它们是从美国直接带来的。”

英语笑话(四)my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人:哦,

亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!

史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!

布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”

英语笑话(五)Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的吧

-- 服务员,

这个龙虾只有一只爪。

-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。

-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。

求简单爆笑的英文笑话,带翻译!

I Wasn't Asleep

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:“先生,醒醒!”

“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”

“我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

The poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难,”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说,“她问我一个问题,然后自己回答了,过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

父亲在哪儿?

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看,”哥哥说,“这些画多漂亮呀!”

“是啊,”弟弟说道,“可是在所有这些画中,只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”

哥哥想了会儿,然后解释道:“很明显,他当时正在画这些画呗。”

Does the dog know the proverb, too?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

狗也知道这个谚语吗?

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”

一 Can we have our teacher back?

Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"

能让我们的老师回去吗?

有一次,一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹,因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人,把他带进另一间教室,并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后,一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来,问道,“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢?”

二 Who's More Polite?

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.

谁更有礼貌?

一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌,因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度,因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时,总有两位女士能坐下。

三 Expensive Price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.

昂贵的代价

牙科医生:对不起,夫人,为给您的儿子拔牙,我得收二十五美元。

母亲:二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?

牙科医生:是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤,他都吓跑四位病人了

A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,

Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"

一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."

The busis very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.

"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.

"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.

"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.

公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.

"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.

"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.

"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."

"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时,家里没有奶酪了,于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿,他拿着一片奶酪回到房间,把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说:“孩子,你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪?” “在捕鼠夹上,先生。”那小男孩说。

英语笑话带翻译 短一些

带翻译的英语笑话如下:

Weather Predict

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow rain." The next day it rained.

A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.

"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.

However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks.

Finally the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?"

The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio is broken."

译文:

天气预报

一个电影摄制组在沙漠深处工作。一天,一个印度老人到导演跟前告诉导演说“明天下雨。”第二天果然下雨了。

一周后,印度人又来告诉导演说,“明天有风暴”果然,第二天下了雹暴。

“印度人真神”导演说。他告诉秘书雇佣该印度人来预报天气。

几次预报都很成功。然后,接下来的两周,印度人不见了。

最后,导演派人去把他叫来了。“我明天必须拍一个很大的场景,”导演说,“这得靠你了。明天天气如何啊?

印度人耸了耸肩。“我不知道”印度人说“收音机坏了”。

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