笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

跟老板请假笑话(跟老板请假笑话怎么说)

本文目录一览:

找一个笑话,说的是一个人去请假,

那天跟老板请假,结果老板对我说:

"一年里有365天你可以工作"

"一年52个星期,你已经每星期休息2天,剩下261天工作"

"你每天有16小时不在工作,去掉170天,剩下91天"

"每天你花30分钟时间喝咖啡,加起来每年23天,剩下68天"

"每天午饭时间你花掉1小时,又用掉46天,还有22天"

"通常你每年请2天病假,这样你的工作时间只有20天"

"每年有5个节假日公司休息不上班,你只干15天"

"每年公司还慷慨地给你14天假期,算下来你就工作1天,而你还要请这一天假!!"

关于员工向老板请假的笑话

一年365天,52个双休日,减去这104天,还剩261天,你每天还有16个小时不在工作岗位上,减去这170天,还剩91天,你每天用30分钟喝咖啡,用掉23天,还剩68天,你每天吃饭用1小时,用去46天,还剩22天,你通常每年向公司请2天病假,只剩20天,每年有5个节假日,公司不上班,减去这5天,还剩下15天,公司每年慷慨地向你放14天假,这样算下来,你工作时间只剩1天,而你还要请这1天假。

一、365-104=261工作日

二、261-16/24*261=87天(按每天24工作时计算)。实际结果应该是87天,笑话为了自圆其说故意算成91天。

三、喝咖啡:87-0.5*261/24=81.5625天(按每天24工作时计算)。喝咖啡只用去5.4375天,因为在工作时间吃饭的只有261个自然天而非365天,此时每天按24工作时计算,老板用365/8算出是23天,把“工作日”和“按每天24工作时计算”换成自然天365和标准工作时8小时。下面吃饭病假节假日用的统统都是这一套。

四、吃饭81.5625-1*261/24=70.6875天(按每天24工作时计算)

五、病假节假日年假70.6875-(2+5+14)*(8-0.5-1)/24=65天(按每天24工作时计算)

所以实际是工作了65天(按每天24工作时计算)

简单的算法就是工作日工作时间8-1吃饭-0.5喝咖啡=6.5小时

工作日365-双休104-病假2-节假日5-年假14=240天

240*6.5/24=65天(按每天24工作时计算)

感冒了向领导如何请假幽默一点

1、本人因感冒发烧至**度,需请假X天,请假时间为X年X月X日至Y年Y月Y日。望领导批准为盼。

2、报告领导,这两天我的鼻涕老是稀稀的往外流,而且还有额头发热来陪伴,虽然浑身乏力,我还是想来公司上班!

3、感冒了,向领导请假,拉弓射箭~照直崩就行!

4、领导您好,我现在医院挂号了,请您批准,谢谢。

5、领导,实在抱歉了,由于昨天突发感冒,今天去医院吊针了,现在身体很虚弱,实在不能去上班了,特向你请假一天,希望你批准。之后附上你在医院看病的病历单。

跟老板请假笑话(跟老板请假笑话怎么说)插图

有个关于请假笑话

老板是偷换概念。

员工: 老板今天我想请一天假

老板: 你想请一天假

员工: 嗯

老板: 你还向公司要求什么? 一年里有365天,52个星期。你已经每星期休息2天,共104天,还剩下261天工作是吧 (这条没问题)

员工: 嗯

老板:你每天有16小时不在工作,去掉174天,还剩下87天是吧

(这条换算成小时会明白,纯工作时间2088个小时)

员工: 嗯

老板: 每天你至少花30分钟时间上网,加起来每年23天,剩下64天是吧

(同样换算成小时,用261乘0.5等于130.5个小时)

员工: ..........

老板: 剩下64天;每天午饭时间你花掉1小时,又用掉46天,还有18天是吧

(同上261乘以1等于261个小时)

员工:

老板: 通常你每年请2天病假,这样你的工作时间只有16天

(这条就不一样了,这两天中每天17.5个小时已经减去了,所以算13个小时)

员工: 无语

老板: 每年有5个节假日公司休息不上班,你只干11天

(同上,每天按6.5个小时计算,总共32.5个小时)

员工: ………………

老板:每年公司还慷慨地给你10天假期,算下来你就工作1天

(同上,每天6.5个小时,总计65个小时)

员工:

老板: 而你居然还要请这一天假

以上全部计算完毕后,得到结果,一年纯工作时间为1587.5个小时,每天工作日按6.5个小时(每天吃饭上网1.5已经减了),换算成天为244天。

坑爹的老板

向老板请假 一年只工作一天的笑话 是怎么回事,怎么就变成一天了呢?

偷换概念。

主要问题出在:有16小时不在工作,去掉174天。

下班的时间凭什么就要用来扣除我正常上班的时间?

就像用花的钱扣除挣得钱一样,比如你一年工资10万,消费了99999,年底只剩下1块钱,能说明你一年的工资就1块钱吗? 你和你老板说,1年工资才1块,上一天班已经很多了。

求自创一个关于请假的笑话,简短的对话类型,要在年会上说的? 要网上没有的,谢谢

请采纳我的问题

 1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指,但竟没有一个同学注意到,令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候,她突然站起来大声说:“哎呀,这里真热呀,我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她:“你是否怀孕了?”“是啊!”女佣回道。“亏你还说得出口,你还没有结婚,难道不觉得害羞吗?”女主人再次训。“我为什么要害羞,女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗?”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的!”女主人生气地反驳。“我也是啊!”女佣高兴地附和。3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服,就是把口子在后面扣上,可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶, 翻了,一头栽在路旁。警察赶到:警察甲:好严重的车祸。警察乙:是啊,脑袋都撞到后面去了。警察甲:嗯,还有呼吸,我们帮他把头转回来吧。警察乙:好.....一、二使劲,转回来了。警察甲:嗯,没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上,因为时常发生车祸,所以常常有一些鬼故事发生,有一天晚上,有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩,身着白衣的女人向他招手,因为这个司机没有见过鬼,所以大胆的停下来让她上车了,这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼,心里也毛毛的,所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人,开着开着,突然司机发现那个女人不见了!司机吓了一大跳,赶紧踩了一个刹车!只见那个女人满脸是血,表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了:“你会不会开车啊!我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个病人去看病,医生检查了他,皱着眉头说:“您病得太严重了,恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人:“求您告诉我我还能活多久?” 医生:“十……” 病人着急地问:“十什么?十年??十个月???十天?????” 医生:“十,九,八,七,六,五……”6、老师:“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗?”学生:“能,他们都死了。”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱,蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的,蚊子说:“护士,打针的。”蜣一拍大腿:“缘分呐,我是中药局搓药丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半,起火,不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多,光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼:“我的妈呀!都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快!”9、一个人想出国考察,但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示,老总给了他一张字条,上面写着:“Go ahead”。 那人想:“Go ahead=前进,老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。 一个同事见到了他问:“你在做什啊??”他说:“我准备出国考察,老总批准了,给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了:“咱们老总根本就没批准!!咱老总的英语水平你还不知道,他这是在说去个头!”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说:“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言,叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑,他试着喊了一声感谢上帝,那匹马立刻飞奔起来,越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然,马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气:“感谢上帝………”

我打了很久,请采纳

1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"

I played for a long time, please

赞(0)
未经允许不得转载:笑话哦 » 跟老板请假笑话(跟老板请假笑话怎么说)

评论 抢沙发