笑话哦本文目录一览：
英文冷笑话大全谜语
有三个人，在一起比试枪法，由一个黑人顶着某样东西做为靶子。
第一个人在黑人的头上放了一个苹果，然后在距离10米远的位置，抬手一枪就将苹果打碎了，他吹了一下枪口说：I'm 佐罗！
第二个人在黑人的头上放了一个樱桃，然后在距离50米远的地方，抬手一枪就把樱桃打碎了，他吹了一下枪口说：I'm007
第三个人在黑人的头上放了一粒芝麻，然后在距离100米远的地方，抬手一枪就把那个黑人的头打碎了，他也吹了一下枪口说：I'm sorry……
why today's homework is tasty?
because it's a piece of cake.
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1.A group of great scientistses are clay-cold to play to hide cat cat in the heaven, round arrive Einstein catch a person, he count to 100 open eyes, see the owners all hid and only have Newton to still stand over there.
Einstein walks through to say:"Newton, I held tight you."
Newton:"Not, you didn't catch Newton."
Einstein:"Your ising not Newton is who"
Newton:"You see my foot be what"
Einstein lowers the head to see Newton the station is all one meters in a cake of long breadths of exact square of floor brick up, don't understand.
Newton:"My foot this be the square piece of one square meter, my standing on the top is Newton/square meter, and what you hold tight is the card of Pa Si."
The card of Pa Si is very sad...
2.The small white rabbit leaps to jump bread building and ask:"Boss, do you have 100 small breads?"
Boss:", Save the mark, have no so many"
"So..."The small white rabbit out of spirits walked.
On the second day, the small white rabbit leaps to jump bread building, "boss, have 100 small breads?"
Boss:"Execuse me, still have no"
"So..."The small white rabbit out of spirits walked again.
On the third day, the small white rabbit leaps to jump bread building, "boss, have 100 small breads?"
The boss happily says:"Had, had, we had 100 small breads today!!"
The small white rabbit takes out money:"Liked too much, I bought 2!"
英语小谜语，笑话或者故事和译文，小学生，谢谢
1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
汤姆的借口
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着："学校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
汤姆对着吉姆骂道:"我受不了你这个苯蛋了!"
吉姆说:"你妈妈能!"
附:bear 有两重意思:"生"和"忍受"这个笑话正是根据这点.
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
妈妈让汤米去马路对面的商店里买一盒好用的火柴。汤米回来后，妈妈问他，“你买的是好用的火柴吗？”
“是的，妈妈。”汤米回答，“我把它们都试过了。”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
开车
父亲：哎呀，我刚才违规右转弯了。
苏西：没事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也这么转了。
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆。”他回答说。“你真是一个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说. “再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说，“他的耳朵还在我的衣兜里。”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
求英语小笑话和谜语
1.What
gets
larger，the
more
you
take
away？什么东西你拿走越多，反而越大？
2.What
goes
on
four
legs
in
the
morning，on
two
at
noon，and
on
three
in
the
evening？什么走路开始用四条腿，后来用两条腿，最后用三条腿？
3.What
do
we
get
if
we
cross
a
woodpecker
with
a
homing
pigeon？把一只啄木鸟和一只识途的鸽子融合在一起，会得到什么？
4.Where
does
afternoon
come
before
morning
in
the
world？世界上哪个地方下午比早上先到？
5.Can
you
tell
me
some
thing
about
the
great
scientists
of
the
18th
century？你能告诉我一些18世纪伟大科学家的事吗？
Keys
答案
1.Ahole.洞
2.People.They
crawled
when
they
were
babies
and
walked
with
two
legs
before
they
had
to
rely
on
a
crutch
in
old
age.
是人，他们刚生下来的时候用四肢爬行，后来用双腿走路，老年时又不得不依靠拐杖走。
3.A
bird
that
knocks
on
the
door
when
delivering
messages.将得到一只送信时会敲门的鸟。
4.In
the
dictionary.在字典里。
5.They're
all
dead.他们都已过世
