笑话哦本文目录一览：
- 1、英语笑话100篇+翻译
- 2、英语短篇笑话
- 3、英语笑话带翻译简短的
- 4、简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄？
- 5、英语笑话带翻译短一些
- 6、英语小笑话带翻译简短
英语笑话100篇+翻译
英语笑话（一）
Q: What's the difference between a monkey and a flea?
A: A monkey can have fleas, but a flea can't have monkeys.
猴子会和跳蚤有什么不同呢？你可能会直接的想到它们俩是一大一小。但除此之外呢，那就是猴子身上可以长跳蚤，而跳蚤身上却不能有猴子。这个答案很有意思吧？
Q: How can you most irritate a farmer?
A: By treading on his corn?
如果你踩了农夫的玉米或是谷物，他肯定会生气的；而如果你踩了农夫脚底的鸡眼，他会更生气。Corn既可以表示“玉米/谷物”，也有“鸡眼”的意思。
Q: Which is the strongest creature in the world?
A: The snail. It carries its house on its back.
因为snail（蜗牛）的后背上总是背着一所房子，所以说蜗牛是世界上最强壮的生物是不足为奇的。你说呢？
Q: What do people do in a clock factory?
A: They make faces all day.
一看到make faces这个短语，你可千万别以为是在钟表厂工作的人整天都做鬼脸呀！因为除了这个意思以外，它还可以从字面上解释为制造钟面。
Q: How do you stop a sleepwalker from walking in his sleep?
A: Keep him awake.
怎样才能不让梦游者（sleepwalker）梦游（walk in his sleep）呢？最简单的方法就是不让他睡觉。虽然这不是治疗方法，但如果让梦游者醒着呢，他的确就不会去梦游了。
英语笑话（二）
He is really somebody
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
-- 墓地守墓人。
英语笑话（三）
Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience.
At last she could not hold any more, uttering. "Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America."
它们是从美国直接带来的
一位中国老妇人在美国看望女儿回来不久，到一家市银行存女儿送给她的美元。在银行柜台，银行职员认真检查了每一张钞票，看是否有假。
这种做法让老妇人很不耐烦，最后实在忍耐不住说：“相信我，先生，也请你相信这些钞票。这都是真正的美元，它们是从美国直接带来的。”
英语笑话（四）my little dog can't read
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
我的狗不识字
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
英语笑话（五）Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员，
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。
英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。
英语笑话（七）Advice for "Kid"
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
忠告“年轻者”
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话，
千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西，抬东西或者装东西时，他们就叫喊，“让小的干吧。”
英语笑话（八）Which woman?
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a bit.When I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
哪一位女人？
一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？”
英语笑话（九）The doctor lives downstairs
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
医生住在楼下
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。
“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”
他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
英语笑话（十）One Engine Left
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
只剩一个引擎
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音：“旅客们请注意，我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时 。” 过了一会儿，旅客们又听到机长的声音：“各位，你们猜怎么啦 ？我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说：“看在上帝的份上，如果我们再掉一个引擎，我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
回答者：lovemydream - 高级经理 七级 7-5 10:08
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评论者： YABNV - 魔法学徒 一级
其他回答共 2 条
Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yellin
g for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
逻辑推理
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：“有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么？” 一个女生举手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
[注]bank在英语中除了我们平时很熟悉的“银行”之外，还有“河岸”的意思。
Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife？你停止打你老婆了吗?
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent‘s witnesses．
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations．
“I want‘yes’or‘no，’”thundered counsel．“There is no need for you to argue the point！”
“But there are some questions which cannot be answered by‘yes’or‘no，’”mildly responded the witness．
“There are not！” snapped the lawyer．
“Oh，” said the witness，“answer this then：“Have you ceased beating your wife？”
这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。
有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辩护律师怒喝道： “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。”
“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。
“不存在这样的问题！”律师厉声打断他。
“噢，”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：“你停止打你老婆了吗？”
Two Birds
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
两只鸟
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
鱼网
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？" 老师发问道。
"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
昨天夜里我爸妈表演“混合双打”
Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles，boys？
体育老师：孩子们，你们见过男女混合双打吗？
Nick: Yes，sir. Quite of ten. I saw it even last night.
尼克：见过，老师，经常见。就在昨天夜里我还见过呢！
Teacher: Please tell us some thing about it.
老师：那你给大家讲讲当时的情形吧。
Nick: Oh，sorry，sir. My father always says, "Domestic shame should not be published.”
尼克：啊，对不起，老师。我爸爸常说:“家丑不可外扬。”
英语短篇笑话
英语短篇笑话
看英语笑话，开心学习英语!
1、
Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人：哦，
亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”
2、
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled. His father knew it, but his grandma doted on(溺爱，宠爱) him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(乱发脾气) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. "Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? Did you cry?""Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
六岁的约翰娇生惯养。他的父亲知道这一点，可他的祖父母仍然宠着他。这孩子几乎寸步不离他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭，就是闹。他第一天上学才离开祖母的.怀抱。约翰放学了，他奶奶在门口接他并问道：“学校怎么样?你过的好吗?哭了没有?”“哭?”约翰问，“不，我没哭，可老师哭了。”
3、
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
这个病人显得很坚决。“医生，我需要做肝脏移植、肾脏移植、心脏移植、角膜移植、脾脏移植、胰腺移植和……” “你为什么认为你需要做这么多移植手术?”病人回答：“哦，是这样，我的老板说如果我这个人不重新组装的话，就别想保住我的工作!”
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英语笑话带翻译简短的
笑话是幽默的一个属概念 ,具有幽默的一切特征。笑话是民族特有幽默的一种形式。我整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一
When they’re together, my five-year-old son and his cousin tend to cause mayhem. one Saturday, I put my foot down. “All right, you two,” I said sternly. “No screaming , grabbing, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting.”
As I turned to leave, I heard my son say, “C’mon, Steven, let’s get dirty . ”
我五岁的儿子和他的表弟在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” 我刚转身要走，就听我儿子说：“来，斯蒂文，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇二
It’s Good to Admit a Fault
John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.
“John!” Teacher says angrily.
“What? What’s wrong?” John is awaken.
“Why do you make a face? It’s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.
“No one is laughing.” The others murmured.
“No, it’s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.
“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.
认错
约翰并不是个“好”学生。他总是在上课的时候睡觉。今天他又睡着了。
“约翰!”老师生气地喊他。
“什么?出什么事了?”约翰醒了。
“你为什么要做鬼脸?这是教室!看看!同学们都在笑!”老师生气地说。
“没有人在笑呀。”其他同学笑声地嘀咕。
“不，不是我。我没有做鬼脸。刚才我睡着了。”约翰感到不安。
“嗯，还不错。你承认自己的错误，还是给好孩子”老师为此感到满意。
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇三
Mark is a good boy,but he is not very clean.His face and hands always very dirty.
One day,Mark goes to school.His teacher looks at him and says:"Mark,I know what you eat today.""What?"Mark asks. "Eggs.your face and your mouth tell me that."
"No."Mark says,"not today,but the day before yesterday."
翻译：马克是个好男孩，但他不是很干净。他的手和脸总是很脏。
一天，马克去学校。他的老师看着他，说：“我知道你今天早上吃了什么。”“什么?”马克问道。“鸡蛋。你的脸和嘴告诉了我。”“不，”马克说，“不是今天，是前天。”
简短的英语笑话带翻译摘抄？
笑话***jokes***往往是指能引人发笑的谈话或故事。作为文体,篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,取得令人捧腹的艺术效果。我整理了简短的英语笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇一
Wow!That's a Big One!
哇!那个真是大得吓人
One day a tourist walked into a Texas tavern and ordered a shot of whiskey. The bartender puta big tumbler full of whiskey in front of him.
某一天一位观光客走进一家德州酒店点了一杯威士忌，酒保竞给他一大杯的酒。
"What's this?" asked the tourist.
“这是什么呢?”观光客问道。
"Why, it's a shot of whiskey! Don't you know that everything is big in Texas?"
“怎么了，那是你点的酒，难道你不知道德州每样东西都大得吓人。”
Then, an armadillo ran past the door.
那时刚好有一只穿山甲跑过酒店门口。
“What was that?" asked the tourist.
“那是什么东西?’观光客又问。
"Why, that was a Texas cockroach. "
“哦，那是只德州蟑螂!”
By this time, the whiskey had gone to the tourist's bladder as well as his head,
喝了酒，观光客感到腹胀头昏，
and he asked the location of the bathroom.
他问哪里有洗手间。
The bartender directed him to go down the hall and to the right,
酒保告诉他下楼后右转，
but the tourist turned left instead and fell into the swimming pool.
但观光客却向左转，跌落在酒店的游泳池中。
The bartender heard the splash and went to investigate.
酒保听到水声跑出去看个究竟。
As he put his head in the door, he heard the tourist cry. "Don't flush the toilet ! "
刚把头伸进门就听到观光客大叫，“不要按动马桶冲水哟!
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇二
不费吹灰之力!
There were four passengers in the *** all aircraft as it sputtered over the Andes; a busines *** an, an inventor, a priest and a laid -back budget traveller.
一架正飞越安第斯山脉的小飞机上坐着四名乘客：一名商人，一名发明家，一位神父和一个靠预算过日子、看起来懒懒散散的旅行者。
Suddenly the pilot entered the cabin and told them the horrible news: "Gentlemen, the plane is going down. I'm going to try to crash-land it, but you must all jump. "
突然，驾驶员走进舱告诉他们可怕的讯息：“各位先生，这架飞机正失控下降中，我要设法迫降，但你们必须先跳下飞机。”
Naturally, the men were horrified and even more so when they discovered that there were only three parachutes.
当然，那几个人都吓得目瞪口呆，尤其是当他们发现只有三个降落伞可以使用时，更是心惊胆战。
The busines *** an said, "Sirs, I employ thousands of people. Their lives and those of their families depend on me. I think you'll agree that I must survive. " He promptly put on a parachute and leaped.
那名商人说道：“各位先生，我雇用好几千名员工，他们都要靠我养家活口，我想你们都同意我必须活着回去。”说着他便穿上一具降落伞跳出飞机去。
The inventor rose, already adjusting the straps. "I'm the *** artest man in the world. My inventions have transformed the lives of millions. There’s no telling how much good I may yet do. Goodbye. " And he, too, jumped from the plane.
接着发明家站了起来，调整了肩带说道：“我是世界上最聪明的人，我的发明改变了成千上万人的生活。我还会对大众造多少福难以估计。再见了，各位!”他也跟着跳出机舱。
The priest was se.rene, and interrupted his prayers to speak to the traveller. "I am a rnan of God, my son; I have no fear of death. Take the last parachute and save your life. "
神父心平气和，中断祷告，对旅行者说道：“小伙子，我是信奉上帝的人，我对死并不畏惧，剩下的降落伞你就拿去用，逃命去吧!”
"Hey, it,s cool, Father. There’ re still two parachutes left. The *** artest man in tne world just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack. "
“嘿，神父，真是太棒了!我们还有两个降落伞。那个自称世界上最聪明的人背了我的背包跳出去了。”
简短的英语笑话带翻译篇三
No Fooling!
不要瞎混!
"Please be gentle with me, darling," said the bride on her wedding night, "I'm a virgin. "
“请对我温柔一些，亲爱的!”新婚之夜新娘对新郎说道。“我是个处女。”
"You're a virgin?" exclaimed her hu *** and with surprise.
“你是个处女?”她丈夫吃惊地叫道，
"But you've been married three times. "
“可是你已经结过三次婚了啊。”
"That's true. dear; but my first hu *** and was an artist and he just wanted to look at my body;
“没错，亲爱的，可是我的第一任丈夫是位艺术家，他只想看我的身体。
my second hu *** and was in advertising, and he would only tell me how great it was going to be;
我的第二任丈夫从事广告业，而他只是告诉我那件事会有多美好。
and my third hu *** and was a lawyer, and would always say, ”I'll get back to you next week. "
我的第三任丈夫是位律师，他总是说：“下星期我就回来看你。”
英语笑话带翻译短一些
1. 英语笑话
英语笑话 【急！求英语笑话带翻译的,三到五分钟,两个人对话的,初二水平,
1、周而复始老王在树下休息，老李走过来对他说：“嗨，为什么不去上山砍柴？” 老王说：“砍柴干什么？” 老李说：“好卖钱啊.卖到钱就可以买驴，再沿家挨户卖柴.挣了钱就再 买卡车，然后买木厂卖木 器，再买更多的卡车，那样就可以发大财了.” 老王问：“发了财干什么？” 老李答：“发了财就可 以逍遥自在地享清福嘛.” 老王说：“那你以为我现在在干什么？”1,round and roundLao wang rested under the tree,Lao li came up and said,"hey,why not go up the hill cutting wood?" Pharaoh said:"cut wood stem what?" Lao li said:"good money!Sold into money can buy a donkey,then along home door-to-door selling wood.Zheng money will buy trucks,and then buy wood factory sells wooden ware,buy more trucks,so that you can be really rich." The old king:"fortune"?Lao li answer:"fortune can be to free and unfettered freely do well." Pharaoh said,"that you think I doing now?"2、甲鱼风波甲鱼又叫团鱼或鳖，俗称王八.味鲜美，价昂贵.“吃的不买，买的不吃”，实乃高级礼品，公关丑 星.某乡派数人携众鳖入城进贡.因其重量不同，又须按“职”分配，为免差错计，故将官 号写于纸上，贴于鳖背.……至机关干部住宅楼前，天已晚.不料竹篓倾覆，众甲鱼乘暮色争相逃命，乡人一片 惊呼：“赵局长”跑啦！——那个块头最大的.快抓住“钱处长”——小心它咬手.那墙角里黑乎乎的，莫非是“孙科长”？“李秘书”个头小，爬得快，怕是找不到了.2,turtle stormTurtle and call TuanYu or turtle,monly known as the tortoise.Taste delicious,the price is expensive."Eat not to buy,buy the do not eat",solid senior ts,pr ugly stars.MouXiang sent several people join the turtle into town tribute.Because of its different weights,and must according to "responsibility" distribution,in order to avoid mistakes plan,therefore,JiangGuan written in paper,stick at turtle's back。
.To government cadres residential against the building,it is late.Behold,all the turtle piggy overthrown by the dusk scramble to flee for life,XiangRen a exclaimed,"zhao chief" run!The bigger the biggest.- Catch "money director" - be careful it bites the hand.The corner of the mariposa rushed,murphy is "Samson section chief"?"Secretary li"'s *** aller,climb quickly,afraid that I can't find it.3、迟了在地铁里，一位男子发现扒手正在掏他的钱包，便幽默地说：“老兄，你来晚了！我今天虽然领 了薪水，但我太太下手比你快 多了！”3,lateIn the subway,a man found pickpocket is cutting his wallet,and humorously said:"man,you came to night!I today although took salary,but my wife lay more quickly than you!"4、情书小伙子在给女朋友的信中写到：“爱你爱得如此之深，以至愿为你赴汤蹈火.星期六如不下雨，我一定来.4,love letterGuy in the letters to his girlfriend wrote:"love your love so much,that would like to give you go through hell.On Saturday as it does not rain,I'll e.5、无理抱怨两个人一起吃饭，只有两条鱼，一大一小.一位先把大 的吃了，另一位勃然大怒.”多不合适！”他抱怨说.”怎 么了？”另一位问.”你吃掉了那条大的，如果我是你就不 会这样做.””你会怎 样呢？””我当然是先吃小的.”” 那好哇，你抱怨什么，那条小鱼不是还在那里吗！”5 and irrational plainTwo people eat together,only two fish,a great and a *** all.A first big eat,another flew into a rage."Not more suitable!" He plains."How yao?" Another asked."You ate that big,if I were you,I would not do so." "How would you like?" "Of course I is first eat *** all." "That good,you plained,the fish is still there!"6、为您保密甲：”这件事我只告诉你一人，请你千万为我保密." 乙：”放心，不但我要为你保密，我还要告诉大家都来为你保密.”6,for your confidentialA:"this matter I just tell you one person,you must the secret for me." B:"trust,not only I want secret for you,I will tell everybody to be secret for you."7、擦玻璃父亲走进儿子的房间，夸奖道：干得好，儿子！窗户又干净又明亮，你是用肥皂水擦的吗？儿子：没有，爸爸，我用的是锤子.7,wipe glassFather entered the son's room,praise,way:well done,son!The window and clean and bright,you are using soap water wipe?Son:no,dad,I am using a sledgehammer.8、开学小学开学了，刚满6岁的冬冬不肯到学校上学.妈妈向冬冬解释，小朋友满6岁就要去上学，一直到15岁.最后冬冬终于在书桌前坐下来，满含热泪地问：等我15岁的时候，您会记得来接我吗？8,openingElementary school begins,just over 6 years old of winter winter will not e to school.Mother to dongdong explanation,children with 6 years old shall go to school,until 15 years old.Last winter winter finally before desk sat down and full of tears to ask:when I was 15,you will remember pick me up?。
英语小笑话带翻译15至25字
He Won Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 他赢了 汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？ 约翰尼：他害病卧床了。
他受了伤。 汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？ 约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?" "A kid bit me," replied Ivan. "Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother. "I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket." 他的耳朵在我衣兜里 伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？” “一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。 “他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。
“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。” A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk." "But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman！" 醉酒 一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。
他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。”
“可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！” Hospitality The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor *** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy. 好客 由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。
过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。
你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话 上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球， 一个老美看到就笑我说， "Do you know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著 性， 缩写正好是 Adidas） " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快， 联想力这么丰富时，旁边的 一个老美帮我解围， 他说， 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn， 他们的招牌歌之一就是 A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢，这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟 能详的喔！ 下次就换你去取笑老美了 这些够吗？ 求你了给分吧。
英语笑话100篇+翻译
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这里的英语笑话都有译文！
A teacher said to her class:
"Who was the first man?"
“George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.
"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, *** iling indulgently.
"Because, " said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"
"I don't know what his name was," said the larger boy, "but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."
有个老师问班上的学生：
“谁是第一个男人？”
“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”
“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”
英语笑话【短】
1. Virtue Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.When the door finally opened, I felt a passionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun *** iling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue." 美 德 获取研究生学位多年以后，我回到位于宾翰顿的纽约州立大学当教员。
一天，电梯里很拥挤，有人抱怨电梯效率太低。我说自我在那里当学生起，20年来电梯一直没有换过。
最后当电梯门打开时，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回过头来我看到一位年长的修女正在朝我微笑。“你会拿到学位的，亲爱的，”她低声说道：“坚持不懈是一种美德。”
2. Difference"I can always tell a graduate class from an undergraduate class," observed the instructor in one of my graduate engineering courses at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say, 'Good afternoon,' the undergraduates respond, 'Good afternoon." But the graduate students just write it down." 区 别 “研究生班和本科生很容易就能区别开来，”在洛杉矶加利福利亚州立大学给我们研究生上工程学课的老师如此说。“我说‘下午好’，本科生们回答说‘下午好’。
研究生们则把我说的话记在笔记本上。”3.Too Long The travel editor of a newspaper called, saying she was finally using an article I had written several years earlier. She wanted to be sure the tour information was still correct. "I also wanted to make certain," she sheepishly confessed, "that you're still alive. Whenever the writer has died, I know I've held a story too long." 太久 一家报纸的旅行版编辑打开电话，说她终于决定要采用一篇我几年前写的文章。
她想确定那旅游信息是否还可靠。“我还想确定，”她怯怯地坦白道：“您是否还健在。
每次发现作者已经不在人世了，我才知道我将文章压得太久了。”4.Charge for Bread and Butter Some years ago, my dad, an attorney, took me to a fancy restaurant in Now York City. When the bill arrived, there was a $1.50 charge for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including the charge for bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the resturant stating that the charge was uncalled for. Enclosed in the same envelope was a bill for $500 in legal services.Someone from the restaurant called immediately and asked, "What is this $500 bill for? We never ordered any legal services." Dad replied, "I never ordered any bread and butter." The $1.50 was returned without delay.面包和黄油费 几年前，我当律师的爸爸带我去纽约的一家高档餐馆。
帐单上来时，上面有1.5美元的面包和黄油费。爸爸付了帐，连同面包和黄油的收费一齐付了。
但是第二天，他给餐馆寄了一封信，说那项收费是没有道理的。随信还寄上了一张500美元的法律服务机构的收费单。
餐馆马上打来电话，问道：“这500美元的收费单是怎么回事？我们从来没有要什么法律机构的服务。” 爸爸答道，“我也从来没有要什么面包和黄油。”
那1.5美元立即就寄了回来。5. Sleeping Pills Bob was having trouble getting to sleep at night. He went to see his doctor, who prescribed some extra-strong sleeping pills.Sunday night Bob took the pills, slept well and was awake before he heard the alarm. He took his time getting to the office, strolled in and said to his boss: "I didn't have a bit of trouble getting up this morning.""That's fine," roared the boss, "but where were you Monday and Tuesday？" 安眠药 鲍勃晚上失眠。
他去看医生，医生给他开了一些强力安眠药。星期天晚上鲍勃吃了药，睡得很好，在闹钟响之前就醒了过来。
他到了办公室，遛达进去，对老板说：“我今天早上起床一点麻烦都没有。” “好啊！”老板吼道，“那你星期一和星期二到哪儿去了？” 英文谚语大全 cqwlzx/Article/ShowArticle?ArticleID=275 Each bird loves to hear himself sing. 鸟儿都爱听自己唱歌。
Each day brings its own bread. 天无绝人之路。Each man is the architect of his own fate. 命运掌握在自己手中。
Eagles catch no flies. 大人物不计较小事情。Eagles fly alone, but sheep flock together. 鹰单飞，羊群集。
Early mistakes are the seeds of future trouble. 早期的错误可以酿成日后的麻烦。Early sow, early mow. 播种早的收获早。
Early start makes easy stages. 早开始是成功的保证。Early to bed and early to rise make a man healthy, wealthy and wise. 早睡早起，令人健康、富有而且聪明。
英文短笑话 最简单的 要短的 四年级
There is a family, is very rich. One day, his son to go to school, mother asked her son, go out alone in our family was very rich, his son to keep in
Heart. The Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to write an article about the family. Son: my family is poor. My mother is very poor, very poor, dad was very poor, my servant is poor, the gardener is poor, the driver is very poor, very poor。
有一户人家，很有钱。一天，儿子要去上学，妈妈叫 儿子，出去后别说咱们家很有钱，儿子牢记在
心。语文课上，老师叫同学们写一篇关于家庭的作文。 儿子写：我家很穷。我很穷，妈妈很穷，爸爸很穷，我家的仆人很穷，园丁很穷，司机很穷，保姆很穷。。
英语小笑话带翻译简短
笑话作为广大人民群众喜闻乐见的文学样式,自诞生之日起就凭借其辛辣独到的讽刺手法,夸张变形的艺术构思以及背反逻辑的情节设想等语体特点而得到作家青睐。我精心收集了简短英语小笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
简短英语小笑话带翻译篇1
财政学的一课
Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. Thefirst bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000. "That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?"
史密斯是一家建设公司的经理，他正负责一个新工程的招标案。第一位投标的是一家波兰公司，他们的代表出价四十万元接那个案子。“似乎很合理，”史密斯说。“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?”
"Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "
“当然没问题，”波兰公司代表说道，“二十万元工资，二十万元材科费。”
Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000.
下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司，他们以八十万元竞标。
"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?"
“嗯，这个价钱似乎有些偏高，”史密斯说道。"你们有明细表吗?"
" $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. "
“四十万元材料，四十万元工资。”
"I'll get back to you. "
“我以后再同你联系。”
Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."
最后可翰•高斯坦•雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。“一百二十万元是我们竞标的价码，”代表说道。
$11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?"
“一百二十万元这个标高得太过分了，”史密斯叫道“你可以给我一张明细表吗?"
"No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400，000 for thePolacks.
“没有问题，”代表回答道。“四十万元给我，四十万元给你，最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。”
简短英语小笑话带翻译篇2
黑人英语
The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.
一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩，而鲁拉·梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。
On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.
手术的早晨，她惊讶地看见她老公穿着礼服，乘坐一辆礼车到不远的医院去。
"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.
"亲爱的，这是怎么一回事啊?鲁拉·梅问道。"
"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.
"宝贝，如果你想当名大人物的话，就要让人一看就知道你很重要!"
简短英语小笑话带翻译篇3
向你的烦恼说再见
A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。
Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "
那位犹太人对圣彼得说：“坦白讲，能到这里让我蛮惊讶的，我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”
"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."
“我们实在感到非常遗憾，”圣彼得说，“但我们这里没有那样的偏见，这里每个人都完全平等，只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”
the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"
那名犹太人正确地拼出God后，被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得，我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击，而且只能住在居留地内，我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”
"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "
“小兄弟，你的烦恼已经结束了，只要拼出God这个词，你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”
The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.
印第安人照着做，不久也被引入天堂。
Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"
接着那名黑人跨步向前，“圣彼得，”他说道，“一辈子人们都瞧不起我，不公平对待我，在这里那些事不会发生吧!”
"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "
“当然不会，我的弟兄，我们不会做那样的事，只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词，天堂之国就是你的了!”
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