很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !




幼儿 英语 故事 对激发幼儿 学习英语 兴趣,培养幼儿的听、说及交际等诸方面的能力有着不可或缺的作用。我整理了关于1分钟幽默英语小故事,欢迎阅读!


A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.


Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians have despised and reviled me. "


"That's a great sorrow to us," said St. Peter, "but you won-t find that kind of prejudice here. Here, all are truly equal. Just spell God and you may enter. "


Next,the Indian came forward and said,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in a reservation.Will I truly be free here?"

那名犹太人正确地拼出 God后,被招入门内。 接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得,我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击,而且只能住在居留地内,我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”

"My son, your troubles are over. Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "


The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.


Next, the black man strode forward. "St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on me and treated me unfairly. That won't happen here, will it?"


"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here. Just spell" onomatopoeia "and the Kingdom of Heaven is yours "



The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnant with her ninth. Finally she convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.


On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husband putting on a tuxedo and getting into a limousine for the short ride to the hospital.


"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.


"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.



Smith was the manager of a construction',event)"construction company and was taking bids on a new project. The first bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000.

"That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?"


"Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "


Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction',event)"Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000.


"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?"


" $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. "


"I'll get back to you. "


Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office.


" $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."$11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a brea kdown on that?"


"No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400 . 000 for the Polacks.



1. 英语小故事1分钟幽默

2. 一分钟幽默英语笑话故事

3. 一分钟英语幽默小故事

4. 英语小故事3分钟幽默

5. 英语小故事1分钟左右

6. 英语新颖小故事1分钟

急求英语1分钟故事 最好是笑话 不超过30个字



In ancient England people could not have sex unless they had consent of the king (unless they were in the Royal Family ). When people wanted to have a baby, they had to get the consent of the king, and the king gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had



Fornication Under Consent of the King

) on it. Hence that's where the word Fuck came from.



A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.

"I'll make you a deal. I will open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He will then open his mouth and I willremove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised. The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.

"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".

A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".

英语笑话:The Shredder

Joke:The Shredder

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m. when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent," said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

英文笑话:Misc Jokes .

Joke:Misc Jokes .

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car.

Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.

Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture... of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent the money for the fine .

A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.

Oklahoma City:

Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in a district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "if I'd been the one that was there."

The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30 year sentence.


R.C. Gaitlan, 21 walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two year old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.

Colorado Springs:

Guy walked into a little corner store with a shot gun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.




When a Tiger comes, Two guys were walking through the jungle. All of a sudden, a tiger appears from a distance, running towards them. One of the guys takes out a pair of "Nikes" from his bag and starts to put them on. The other guy with a surprised look and exclaims, "Do you think you will run faster than the tiger with those?" His friend replies: "I don't have to out run it, I just have to run faster than you."

翻译:两个男人正在穿过丛林,突然,一只老虎出现在远处,向他们冲来。当中的一个人从包里拿出一双“耐克”跑鞋,开始穿上。另一个人惊奇地看着他说,“你以为穿上跑鞋就可以跑得过老虎吗?” 他的朋友回答道:“我不用跑得过它,我只要跑得比你快就行了。”



2 可以配合上动作,这样效果更好。

3 这是一则不错的笑话,如果表演好,效果会很好。



A poor man, presenting himself before the King of Spain,asked his charity, telling him that he was his brother. Theking desiring to know how he claimed kindred to him, the poorfellow replied,“We are all descended from one common fatherand mother—viz., Adam and Eve.” Upon which the kinggave him a little copper piece of money. The poor man beganto bemoan himself, saying,“Is it possible that your Majestyshould give no more than this to your brother?”“Away,away,”replies the king;“if all the brothers you have in theworld give you as much as I have done, you'll be richer than Iam.”


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