笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

广西苗族笑话(广西人普通话笑话)

本文目录一览:

56各民族的绝活与绝技,还有他们的幽默笑话

请采纳我的问题

 1、一个女生前一天晚上得到男朋友的订婚戒指,但竟没有一个同学注意到,令她忿忿不平。到下午大家坐着谈天的时候,她突然站起来大声说:“哎呀,这里真热呀,我看我还是把戒指脱下来吧。”2、女主人把女佣叫到面前问她:“你是否怀孕了?”“是啊!”女佣回道。“亏你还说得出口,你还没有结婚,难道不觉得害羞吗?”女主人再次训。“我为什么要害羞,女主人你自己不也怀孕了吗?”“可是我怀的是我丈夫的!”女主人生气地反驳。“我也是啊!”女佣高兴地附和。3、一个人骑摩托车喜欢反穿衣服,就是把口子在后面扣上,可以挡风。一天他酒后驾驶, 翻了,一头栽在路旁。警察赶到:警察甲:好严重的车祸。警察乙:是啊,脑袋都撞到后面去了。警察甲:嗯,还有呼吸,我们帮他把头转回来吧。警察乙:好.....一、二使劲,转回来了。警察甲:嗯,没有呼吸了.......4、在一条七拐八拐的乡村公路上,因为时常发生车祸,所以常常有一些鬼故事发生,有一天晚上,有一个出租车司机看见路边有一个长发披肩,身着白衣的女人向他招手,因为这个司机没有见过鬼,所以大胆的停下来让她上车了,这一路上,司机虽然不信有鬼,心里也毛毛的,所以时常从后视镜看后面的女人,开着开着,突然司机发现那个女人不见了!司机吓了一大跳,赶紧踩了一个刹车!只见那个女人满脸是血,表情狰狞。司机吓的牙直打颤。突然那女人开口了:“你会不会开车啊!我低头系个鞋带你突然一刹车我把鼻子都撞破了……”5、一个病人去看病,医生检查了他,皱着眉头说:“您病得太严重了,恐怕不会活多久了。” 病人:“求您告诉我我还能活多久?” 医生:“十……” 病人着急地问:“十什么?十年??十个月???十天?????” 医生:“十,九,八,七,六,五……”6、老师:“你能说一些18世纪科学家共同特点吗?”学生:“能,他们都死了。”7、犀粪蜣和蚊子谈恋爱,蜣问蚊子是做什么工作的,蚊子说:“护士,打针的。”蜣一拍大腿:“缘分呐,我是中药局搓药丸的…”8、一非洲人住在某一宾馆。夜半,起火,不明原因。非洲人见状顾不了那么许多,光着身子就跑出去了。消防员见状惊呼:“我的妈呀!都烧的糊了吧区的了还能跑那么快!”9、一个人想出国考察,但必须得到老总批准。于是他向老总请示,老总给了他一张字条,上面写着:“Go ahead”。 那人想:“Go ahead=前进,老总是批准了。”于是他开始打点行李。 一个同事见到了他问:“你在做什啊??”他说:“我准备出国考察,老总批准了,给我写了‘Go ahead’。” 同事一见条就乐了:“咱们老总根本就没批准!!咱老总的英语水平你还不知道,他这是在说去个头!”10、牧师对买了他马和马车的农夫说:“这匹马只能听懂教会的语言,叫"感谢上帝"它就跑;叫"赞美上帝"它才停下。”农夫将信将疑,他试着喊了一声感谢上帝,那匹马立刻飞奔起来,越跑越快。一只跑到悬崖边上惊恐的农夫才想起让它停下来的口令“赞美上帝”。果然,马停下来了。死里逃生的农夫长出一口气:“感谢上帝………”

我打了很久,请采纳

1 the night before, a girl get boyfriend engagement ring, but no one noticed the classmate, make her antics. You sit and chat in the afternoon, she suddenly stood up and shouted: \"oh, it's really hot in here, I think I'd better take off your ring.\" 2, the mistress called the maid to ask her: \"are you pregnant?\" \"Yes!\" The maid answered. Export \"kui you still say, you are not married, don't you feel shy?\" The hostess training again. \"Why should I be shy, you don't the hostess also pregnant?\" \"But I conceive is my husband!\" The hostess retorted angrily. \"Me too!\" The maid happy to echo. 3, a man riding a motorcycle like the dress, is to cut on the back, can the wind. Drunk driving one day, he turned over, a planted on the road. Police: police a: a good serious car accident. Policeman b: yes, his head hit the back. Po1: well, still breathing, let's help him turn his head back. Po2: good... One, two, turn back. Policeman a: well, not breathing... 4, turn in a curvy country road, because often in a car accident, so often have some ghost story, one night, there's a taxi driver saw the side of the road have a long hair shawls, dressed in a white woman waved to him, because the driver didn't see a ghost, so bold stopped to let her get on the bus, along the way, the driver doesn't believe in ghosts, the in the mind also maomao, so often the woman behind the rearview mirror to see, open open, the driver found the woman suddenly disappeared! The driver startled, hurriedly stepped on a brake! I saw the woman face is blood, grim expression. The driver frighten of teeth chatter. Suddenly the woman spoke: \"would you drive! I bow to fasten shoelaces are you smashed through a sudden brake my nose...\" 5, a patient to see a doctor, the doctor examined him, frowning said: \"you too serious ill, I'm afraid I won't live much longer.\" Patient: \"please tell me how long will I live?\" Doctor: \"ten...\" Patient anxiously asked: \"what? Ten years?? Ten months??? Ten days?????\" Doctor: \"ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five...\" 6, teacher: \"can you say some 18 th-century scientists common characteristics?\" Student: \"yes, they are all dead.\" 7, rhino poop Qiang and mosquito fall in love, Qiang asked a mosquito is to do what work, the mosquito said: \"nurse, give or take an injection.\" Qiang a clap a thigh: \"the fate, I am a traditional Chinese medicine bureau rub pills...\" 8, the africans live in a hotel. In the midnight, a fire, unknown reason. Before rushing so many africans, naked and ran out. Firefighters said exclaimed: \"my mama ah! All paste the burned area can run so fast!\" 9, a person wants to go abroad, but it must be approved by boss. So he to the manager for instructions, the boss gave him a note, it read: \"Go ahead\". The man thought, \"Go ahead = progress, boss is approved.\" So he started to packing. A colleague to see he asked: \"what are you doing?\" He said: \"I'm ready to Go abroad investigation, boss approved, wrote me 'Go ahead'.\" Colleague of joy at the sight of article: \"let's boss haven't approved!!!!! Our boss English don't you know, he is said to head!\" 10, priests to buy his horse and carriage of the farmer said, \"this horse can only understand the language of the church, call\" thank god \"it ran; called\" praise god \"it didn't stop.\" Farmer track, he tried to thank god gave a cry, the horse gallop, immediately ran faster and faster. A run to the edge of the cliff frightened farmer remembered that let it stop password \"praise god\". Sure enough, the horse stopped. Close the farmer grows a sigh: \"thank god.........\"

I played for a long time, please

广西苗族笑话(广西人普通话笑话)插图

绕口令广西壮族自治区出租车司机?

广西壮族自治区出租车司机的绕口令如下:

广西壮族自治区爱吃红鲤鱼与绿鲤鱼与驴的出租车司机,拉着苗族土家族自治州爱喝自制的刘奶奶榴莲牛奶的骨质疏松症患者。遇见别着喇叭的哑巴打败咬死山前四十四棵死涩柿子树的四十四只死石狮子之后,碰到年年恋刘娘的牛郎,念着灰黑灰化肥发黑会挥发,走出山岗官方网站摄制组,到广西壮族自治区首府南宁市民族医院就医。

我每天坐着有骨质疏松症的出租车司机孙师傅的车,吃着不吐葡萄皮的葡萄,去山前有四十四棵死涩柿子树下面。今年六十六岁喜欢发废话又爱花话费的刘老六的学校,去看全校师生画红凤凰在粉红墙上,并看他们一起读八了个百了个标了个兵了个奔了个北了个坡。

其他的绕口令

1、八百标兵奔北坡,北坡炮兵并排跑,炮兵怕把标兵碰,标兵怕碰炮兵炮。

2、杨家养了一只羊,蒋家修了一道墙。杨家的羊撞倒了蒋家的墙,蒋家的墙压死了杨家的羊。杨家要蒋家赔杨家的羊,蒋家要杨家赔蒋家的墙。

3、老翁卖酒老翁买,老翁买酒老翁卖。

4、哥跨瓜筐过宽沟,快过宽沟观怪狗,光顾观狗瓜筐扣,瓜滚筐空哥怪狗。

广西壮族自治区绕口令完整版是什么?

广西壮族自治区绕口令完整版:

下面播报本台消息,来自广西壮族自治区爱吃红鲤鱼与绿鲤鱼与驴的出租车司机,拉着苗族土家族自治州爱喝自制刘奶奶榴莲牛奶的骨质疏松症患者,遇见别着喇叭的哑巴,打败咬死山前44棵死涩柿子树的44只死石狮子,之后碰到了年年恋刘娘的牛郎念着灰黑化肥挥发发灰会挥发,走出山岗官方网站摄制组到广西壮族自治区首府南宁市民族医院就医。

我每天坐着有骨质疏松症的出租车司机孙师傅的车,吃着不吐葡萄皮的葡萄。去山前有着44棵死涩柿子树下面,今年66岁,超喜欢发废话,又花话费的刘老六的学校去看全校师生画红凤凰在粉红墙上,并跟他们一起读八了个百了个标了个兵了个奔了个北了个坡,最后和全校师生一起观看了本届毕业生自导自演的哥挎瓜筐过宽沟看怪狗的汇报演出。

地名由来

春秋战国时期,岭南属于百越之地的部分,广西属百越的一部分。

正史《汉书·地理志》载:“自交趾至会稽七八千里,百越杂处”。

公元前214年,秦王朝征服百越,在岭南设置桂林郡、南海郡和象郡,今广西大部分地区属于桂林郡和象郡,所以广西称“桂”由此而来。

广西的名称则来源于两个,一为咸通三年(862),岭南道分东、西两道,并以邕管经略使为岭南西道节度使,成为一级独立政区;另宋朝所建制的行政单位—“广南西路”,后简称“广西路”; 二为得名于古地名“广信”,两广以广信为分界,广信之东谓广东,广信之西谓广西。

这是“广西”名称的由来。于1363年,设置广西行中书省,为广西建省之始。民国时期,广西沿袭清制设省。1958年3月,广西省改为“广西僮族自治区”,1965年10月,“广西僮族自治区”改名为“广西壮族自治区”。

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