笑话哦本文目录一览：
急急急！因为英语闹出的小笑话，快！
1 too和two
有一天小明不小心走路撞到一个外国人，他不好意思的说：「I am sorry.」
「I am sorry,too.」外国人回答。
「I am sorry three.」小明马上回道。
「What are you sorry for？」外国人问。
「I am sorry five…」小明说。
2 关于模糊音
.一家陕西人在纽约唐人街开了家餐馆，儿子当服务生，老妈管收钱，老爸做大厨。
某一天，店里来了个老外，点了个套餐，吃到一半， " 咣当 " ，把汤碗打了。
儿子跑过去看了一下，说： " 碗打了！ "
老外想： " one dollar,... ..."
老妈听见声音，也过来看，见地上有个破碗，问： " 谁打的？ "
老外想： " three dollar?... ..."
儿子说： " 他打的！ "
老外想： " ten dollar?! ... ..."
老妈又说： " 还得打一碗！ "
老外想： " hundred and one?!?! ... ..."
老爸正在厨房切菜，听见外面的声音，赶忙跑出来看怎么回事。忙乱中，忘了把菜刀放下。
五大三粗的老爸，手持菜刀站在餐厅里，老外一看，心跳加速，血压急升，但更让他心碎加崩溃的是老爸的一番话。
老爸对着正在加热炉上舀汤的儿子说： " 烫，少盛点儿！ "
老外： " ten thousand?!!
3 关于名字的谐音
SCENE: The Oval Office. George Bush and Condolezza Rice.
(场景) 椭圆形办公室, 乔治布什 和国家安全顾问康多里扎赖斯
George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?
布什: 康迪(赖斯)! 很高兴见到你,发生什么事情了?
Condi: Sir, I have the report about the new leader of China.
赖斯:长官,我来向你汇报中国的新领导人
George: Great. Let’s hear it.
布什: 好极了,我们一起来听听!
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
赖斯:胡(谁)是中国的新领导人
George: That’s what I want to know.
布什:这就是我要知道的
Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.
赖斯:这就是我要告诉你的
George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of
China?
布什:这就是我要问你的,谁(胡)是中国的新领导人?
Condi: Yes.
赖斯:是的
George: I mean the fellow’s name.
布什:我是说那个人的名字
Condi: Hu.
赖斯:胡(谁)
George: The guy in China.
布什: 那个在中国的人
Condi: Hu.
赖斯:胡(谁)
George: The new leader of China.
布什:中国的新领导人!
Condi: Hu.
赖斯:胡(谁)
George: The Chinese!
布什:那个中国人!
Condi: Hu is leading China.
赖斯:胡(谁)领导中国
George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?
布什:啊?现在是你问我了?
Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.
赖斯: 我在告诉你, 胡(谁)在领导中国
George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?
布什:我在问你,谁(胡)在领导中国?
Condi: That’s the man’s name.
赖斯:就是那人的名字
George: That’s whose name?
布什:就是谁(胡)的名字?
Condi: Yes.
赖斯:是的
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader
of China?
布什:你到底愿不愿意告诉我谁(胡)是中国的领导人?
Condi: Yes sir.
赖斯:是的,长官（亚瑟尔）
George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the
Middle East.
布什：亚瑟尔？你是说阿拉法特在中国？我以为他在中东呢
Condi: That’s correct.
赖斯：没错
George: Then who is in China?
布什：那么谁（胡）在中国？
Condi: Yes, sir.
赖斯：是的长官（亚瑟尔）
George: Yassir is in China?
布什：亚瑟尔在中国？？
Condi: No, sir.
赖斯：不，长官
George: Then who is?
布什：那么谁（胡）在？
Condi: Yes, sir.
赖斯：是的长官（亚瑟尔）
George: Yassir?
布什：亚瑟尔？
Condi: No, sir
赖斯：不，长官.
George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of
China. Get m e the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. I bet
he knows.
布什：听着，赖斯．我要知道中国新领导人的名字，给我接联合国秘书长．我
觉得他会知道
Condi: Kofi?
赖斯：科费（咖啡）？
George: No, thanks.
布什：不，谢谢
Condi: You want Kofi?
赖斯：你要科费（咖啡）？
George: No.
布什：不！！
Condi: You don’t want Kofi.
赖斯：那么你不要科费（咖啡）
George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of
milk. And then get me the U.N.
布什：不，但是既然你提到它，我要杯牛奶就可以了，然后给我接联合国
Condi: Yes, sir.
赖斯：是的长官（亚瑟尔）
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
布什：不是亚瑟尔！是联合国的头！
Condi: Kofi?
赖斯：科费（咖啡）？
George: No, milk! Will you please make the call?
布什：不，牛奶！你给我接通电话好不？
Condi: Call who?
赖斯：给谁打？
George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
布什：谁（胡）是联合国的头？
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.
赖斯：胡（谁）是中国的头
George: Will you stay out of China?!
布什：你能不能不提中国了？！
Condi: Yes, sir.
赖斯：是的长官（亚瑟尔）
George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the
U.N!
布什：也别提中东了！给我接通联合国的头就好了！
Condi: Kofi?
赖斯：科费（咖啡）？
George: All right! Light with sugar. Now get on the phone.
布什：好啦好啦！那就少加点糖吧！给我接电话
(Condi picks up the phone.)
（赖斯拿起电话）
Condi: Rice here
赖斯：赖斯在这（这有米饭）
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too
布什：米饭?好主意。在来两个蛋卷。
5.有一天小明不小心走路撞到一个外国人，他不好意思的说：「I am sorry.」
「I am sorry,too.」外国人回答。
「I am sorry three.」小明马上回道。
「What are you sorry for？」外国人问。
「I am sorry five…」小明说。
英文中容易令人误解的单词有哪些？
英语中容易令人误解的单词有许多，如dude，Chuck，Gross等，都很容易令人误解，我们出去玩，总是喜欢秀自己学过的英语单词，有一次，我们寝室的一起出去，看到了一个外国人穿的很时尚，然后我们其中一个室友就想炫耀自己的英语水平，于是他就跑过去和那个外国人套近乎，说dude，那个外国人一听很生气，瞪了我们一眼就走了，我们都很纳闷，不知道为什么，后来查了一下那个单词，原来那个单词有两个意思，我朋友想表达的是老哥的意思，而外国人则以为我们说他是花花公子，执垮子弟，所以就造成了误会。这几个英文单词真的很容易被人误解。
英语幽默笑话带翻译30个单词
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。
英语小笑话
上个星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一个老美看到就笑我说, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 缩写正好是 Adidas) " 我正惊讶他怎么反应这么快, 联想力这么丰富时,旁边的
一个老美帮我解围, 他说, 有一个很著名的合唱团 Korn, 他们的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,这个典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能详的喔! 下次就换你去取笑老美了.
