笑话哦本文目录一览：
两人的英语笑话或小品[3-5分钟]
Feel Unhappy.心里难受
Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?
Father: Of cause, it is.
Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time.
Father(angrily): What? You------
儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激？
父亲：那当然！
儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。
父亲(气愤地)：什么？你……
It’s not that. 不是那样的。
A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.
B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.
A: No, it wasn’t raining.
A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。
B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！
A：不是，当时并没有下雨。
Compare other things？比一下其他？
Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.
Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?
Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.
儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。
妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其它东西？
儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,
几个英语小笑话～要对话（两人的）式的
Father,"Oh , my dear ,I'll be so happy that I'll die if you get full cents."
Son,"Well,dad.Take it easy . I won't let you die ."
译：
父亲：噢，亲爱的，如果你考满分的话我会高兴得要死。
儿子：嗯……放心吧，爸爸。我不会让你死的。
求几个英文笑话 要带翻译的 涉及婚姻或家庭或夫妻的
FUTURE 未来
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
女人直到找到丈夫前都在担心未来；男人直到找到妻子前从不担心未来。 EATING OUT 在外面吃饭
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though its only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
买单的时候，阿麦，阿克、阿力和阿汤每人都甩出20块钱，虽然其实一共只吃了32块5。没人有更小的票子了，也没人愿意承认他们其实想把票子破开。女人买单时，每人掏出个计算器。MONEY 钱
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnt need, but its on sale. 用得着的东西，要是值1块钱却卖2块，男人也会买；用不着的东西，要是值2块钱却只卖1块，女人也会买。
BATHROOMS 浴室
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical womans bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
男人浴室里五件宝：牙刷，刮胡膏，剃须刀，一块肥皂，一块毛巾。一般的女人浴室里平均有337样东西，其中的大多数，男人不知道那是干啥用的。
ARGUMENTS 争论
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
任何争论都是由女人来说最后一句话。男人在此之后说的任何话……都是开始新的争吵。
CATS 猫
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women arent looking, men kick cats.
女人喜欢猫。男人说他们也喜欢，但当女人看不到时，男人踢猫。
SUCCESS 成功
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
成功的男人是能挣比他太太花得更多的钱的；成功的女人是能找得到这么个男人的。
MARRIAGE 婚姻
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnt. A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change! And she does.
女人嫁给一个男人，希望他能改变，可他不；男人娶了一个女人，希望她永远不变，可她变了。
