笑话哦本文目录一览：
- 1、英语笑话幽默
- 2、英语小笑话
- 3、有关英语短笑话带翻译精选？
- 4、有关英语的笑话
英语笑话幽默
下面是我整理的 英语笑话 幽默，希望对大家有帮助。
英语笑话幽默：我妹妹的手指头
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
老师：凯温，这次你怎么又迟到了?
凯温：对不起，老师，我在家钉钉子，砸坏了两个手指头。
老师：怎么没有扎绷带呀?
凯温：噢，砸的不是我的手指头，我叫小妹妹扶着钉子的。
英语笑话幽默：新西兰的气候
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
老师：马修，新西兰的气候怎么样?
马修：先生，那里的天气很冷。
老师：错了。
马修：可是，先生!从那儿运来的猪肉都冻得硬邦邦的。
英语笑话幽默：Good news or Bad news?
An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.
"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"
With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."
以为艺术家在一个画廊办了个展览，他问店主是否有人对他参展的画感兴趣。
“我有一个好消息和一个坏消息。”店主回答。
“先告诉我好消息。”画家要求道。
“好消息是一位绅士询问了你的作品，还问它是否会在你死后增。我告诉他会的，然后他买下了你所有的15幅画作。”
“那太棒了!”画家惊叹。“那么什么会是坏消息呢?”
店主想了想之后说：“问那个问题的是你的医生”。
英语笑话幽默：I don't think I know
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"
老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。
约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?
老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。
约翰：“我想我不知道”。
英语笑话幽默：A Girl's Name 女孩的名字
When our daughter was born, we named her Myles, after my beloved late(已故的) father, despite family warning that the name was too masculine(男性的) .
Years later, when I felt she was old enough to understand, I explained to Myles, Your name is very special. I named you after my own father because I loved him very much. I know he would be proud of you.
Myles thought carefully about this and then said, I know all that, Mom. But I don't understand why my grandfather had a girl's name.
女儿出生时，我们给她取名叫迈尔斯，和我深爱的业已过世的父亲同一个名字，不过家人提醒这个名字太男性化了。
几年以后，我觉得迈尔斯已经长大，能够懂事了。我对她解释说：你的名字很特别。我给你取了一个和我爸爸一样的名字，因为我非常爱他。我相信他会为你而深感自豪的。
迈尔斯很仔细地想了一下，然后说道：这些我都懂，妈妈。可是我不知道外公为什么会有一个女孩子的名字。
英语笑话幽默：电脑问题
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges，delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了，有一天我接到一位客户的电话，她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是：打印机不能打出来黄色，但是 其它 颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷，因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装，但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们，他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉，我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们，这时候她平静地说了一句：“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”
英语笑话幽默：精神病医生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." "How much do you charge?" "A hundred dollars per visit." "I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. "For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!"
杰瑞去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次睡觉的时候，我都感觉有人在床下。我要疯了!”“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”“费用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我会认真考虑的。”杰瑞答道。六个月后医生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“为什么你再也没来呢?”医生问。“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他让我把床腿锯掉。现在那没人了!”
英语笑话幽默：死后重生
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人能死后重生吗?”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信，先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦，那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后，她老人家到这儿看你来了。”
英语笑话幽默：他什么都没听到
Working at the post office, I'm used to dealing with a moody public. So when one irate customer stormed my desk, I responded in my calmest voice, "What's the trouble?" "I went out this morning," she began, "and when I came home I found a card saying the mailman tried to deliver a package but no one was home. My husband was in all morning. He never heard a thing!" After apologizing, I got her parcel. "Oh, good," she gushed. "We've been waiting for this for ages." "What is it?" I asked. "My husband's new hearing aid."
我在邮局上班，对于顾客们的各种情绪早已习以为常了。所以，有一天当一个生气的顾客气冲冲地来到我的工作台时，我还是非常平静地问她，“有什么问题吗?”“我早上上街了，”女顾客说，“我回到家的时候，我看到一个卡片，卡片说邮递员要给我们家送包裹，但没人在家。可是我的丈夫整个早上都在家啊。他说他什么都没听到”。在表示了歉意之后，我把包裹给了她。“噢，太好了”，那位女顾客喜形于色。“我们等这东西都等多少年了!”“是什么好东西?”我问。“我丈夫的新助听器”。
英语笑话幽默：有效
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor, the doctor gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well, and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. "Boss", he said, "The pill actually worked!" "That's all fine" said the boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
汤姆早上老起不来，所以上班总是迟到。他的老板非常生气，警告他如果他不能有所改善的话就炒他的鱿鱼。于是，汤姆去看医生，医生给了他一颗药丸并告诉他要在睡觉前服下这颗药。汤姆照医生的话做了，睡得非常之好，事实上，他在早上闹钟响之前就起来了。汤姆从容不迫地吃完早餐，然后兴高采烈地开车上班去了。 “老板”，汤姆说，“那药真管用，我的睡眠好极了!” “是够管用的，”老板说，“问题是，昨天你人哪去了”?
英语笑话幽默：两个笨贼
Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first robber said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13 th floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious!"
两个盗贼在一家旅馆偷东西。第一个说：“我听到警报响了，快跳吧!” 第二个说：“但是我们现在在第13层啊!” 第一个尖叫着回敬他：“都什么时候了，还这么迷信!”
英语笑话幽默：结婚的花费
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
小男孩问他的父亲：“爸爸，结婚要花多少钱?”
His father replied, "I don't know, son, because I'm still paying for it now."
他的父亲回答说：“儿子，我不知道，因为我现在还在为它付账呢。”
英语小笑话
#英语小笑话#
英语和中文一样，都有各自的特色，笑话也是大有不同，接下来我们就来看看一些英语中的笑话吧~
1. Why is the doctor so angry?
为什么医生那么生气？
A: Because he has no patience.
因为他没有耐心呀。
笑点：耐心=patience，病人=patient 一语双关
2. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
鳄鱼穿了背心会变成什么？
A: An Investigator.
调查员
笑点：这个点在读音，investigator = in + vest + alligator
3. Why can't you give Elsa a balloon?
你为什么不能给Elsa（《冰雪奇缘》女主角）气球？
A: Because she will Let it go.
因为她会让气球跑掉。
笑点：《冰雪奇缘》的主题曲就是“Let it go”。小朋友一定能知道这个梗。
4. What do you call a computer that sings?
会唱歌的电脑叫什么？
A: A-Dell
Adele
笑点：A Dell（一台戴尔电脑）和著名歌手Adele也是谐音。
5. What do you get from a pampered cow?
一头被宠坏的奶牛会给你些什么？
A: Spoiled milk.
坏掉的牛奶。
笑点：Spoil做动词是“宠溺”，spoiled做形容词也有变质的意思。一语双关。
6. What do you call a bee that lives in America?
住在美国的蜜蜂叫啥？
A: USB
笑点：美国是U.S. U.S.+ bee = USB
7.Your brain has two parts: left right. Your left brain has nothing right, Your right brain has nothing left.
你的大脑有两个部分：左脑和右脑，你的左脑里没有右脑的东西，你的右脑里没有左脑的东西。
笑点解析：right同上；left作形容词时意为左边的，作leave的过去分词使用时意为剩下的。所以后面两句还可以理解为“你的左脑里没有一点正确的东西，你的右脑里什么也不剩。”（我才不会直接说你笨呢）。
今日的小笑话先讲到这儿，你还知道哪些呢？
今日词汇:
not so much as …甚至于…都没有
set sb to do 使某人做
be determined upon … 对…意志坚定
a strip of 呈条带状的一片
divide sth into 把...分成
at the end of 在...尽头；在...结束时
a great deal of 大量
look back upon 回忆；回顾
有关英语短笑话带翻译精选？
很多笑话的笑点是需要想像力和联想到一些事情才能正确的领悟这个笑点。我精心收集了有关英语短笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!
有关英语短笑话带翻译篇1
Teacher: Jack, why aren't you listening?
Jack: But, teacher, I'm listening.
Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.
Jack: You said, "Jack, why aren't you listening?"
老师：杰克，你为什么不认真听课?
杰克：老师，我正在听课呀!
老师：如果你刚才在听课，那告诉我刚才我说的什么。
杰克：您说的是：“杰克，你为什么不认真听课?”
有关英语短笑话带翻译篇2
Teacher: "John, what is the past participle of the verb to ring?"
John: "What do you think it is, sir?"
Teacher: "I don't think, I KNOW!"
John: "I don't think I know either, sir!"
老师：“John，动词ring的过去分词是什么?”。
约翰：“你想它是什么呢”?
老师：“我不用想，我知道!”。
约翰：“我想我不知道”。
有关英语短笑话带翻译篇3
Teacher: Find Australia on the map for me, Johnny.
Johnny: It's there, sir.
Teacher: That's right. Now Sammy, who discovered Australia?
Sammy: Johnny, sir.
老师: 约翰尼，在地图上给我找出澳大利亚在什么地方。
约翰尼: 先生，在这儿。
老师: 对了。萨默，你来回答是谁发现了澳大利亚?
萨默: 先生，是约翰尼。
有关英语短笑话带翻译篇4
man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟。”
有关英语的笑话
笑话是实际生活中客观存在的，作为文学式样，它的特征是戏谑、讽刺，其功能是启迪、警示。它渊源流长、值得研究、探讨。下面是我带来的有关英语的笑话，欢迎阅读!
有关英语的笑话篇一
A better dishwasher 一台更好的洗碗机
Mrs Williams lived in a small street in London, and now she had a new neighbour.
Her name was Mrs Briggs, and she talked a lot about her expensive furniture, her beautiful carpets and her new kitchen.
"Do you know," she said to Mrs Williams one day, "I've got a new dishwasher1. It washes the plates and glasses and knives and forks beautifully."
"Oh? " Mrs Williams answered." And does it dry them and put them in the cupboard, too ?"
Mrs Briggs was surprised. "Well," she answered, "the things in the machine are dry after an hour, but it doesn't put them away, of course."
"I've had a dishwasher for twelve and a half years," Mrs Williams said.
"Oh?" Mrs Briggs answered, "And does yours put the things in the cupboard when it has washed them?"
She laughed nastily2. "Yes, he does," Mrs Williams answered."He dries the dishes and puts them away."
威廉姆斯太太住在伦敦的的一条小街上，现在她有了一位新邻居。
这邻居叫布里格斯太太，她对她的高档家具，漂亮地毯和新厨房谈论很多。
“你知道吗?” 有一天她对威廉姆斯太太说道：“我有一台新洗碗机。它洗盘子、杯子和刀叉洗得非常好。”
“哦?”威廉姆斯太太回答说，“它能弄干盘子、杯子和刀叉吗?还可以把它们放进碗柜吗?”
布里格斯太太很吃惊。“ 嗯，”她回答说，“洗碗机里的盘子、杯子和刀叉一小时后就干了，但当然啰，洗碗机不能把它们收起来。”
威廉姆斯太太说：“我有一台洗碗机已经12年半了。”
“哦?”布里格斯太太回答说，“你的洗碗机在洗完盘子、杯子和刀叉后能把它们放进碗柜吗?”她不怀好意地大笑起来。
“是的，他可以。”威廉姆斯太太回答说，“他把碗盘刀叉弄干后就把它们收起来。”
有关英语的笑话篇二
My God 我的上帝啊
A Scotsman, carrying a huge suitcase, has been riding a London bus for five miles along its route, all the while attempting to avoid the ticket collector.
Finally, the conductor manages to corner him and tells him to pay up："You've been on for five miles -- that'll be 50 pennies, please, and 10 pennies for your suitcase."
The Scotsman responds："I haven't, I want to have a penny fare, just got on this very moment." They begin to argue, and the ticket collector become more and more enraged1 and finally, as the bus is passing over London bridge, he grabs2 the Scotsman's suitcase, and hurls3 it out of the bus.
It lands in the river and sinks without a trace. The Scotsman stands shocked for a moment and says to the ticket collector, "My God!Not only are you treat to overcharge me for the ticket—but now you're gone a drowned my boy Jenny."
一个苏格兰人提着一只大箱子，坐上了一辆开往伦敦的汽车。上车后，在汽车行驶了5英里的这段路上，他一直在试图躲开售票员。
售票员最终还是找到了他，并叫他补票:“你已经坐了5英里了，请付50便士，你的箱子还要付10便士。”
苏格兰人答道：“我是不会付那么多钱的。我只付1便士，因为我刚刚上车。”最后，他们争吵起来。售票员越吵越生气，终于在车子行驶到伦敦大桥上时，抓起苏格兰人的箱子，用力扔出了车外。
箱子掉进河里，沉了下去。苏格兰人惊呆了，怔怔地站在那里，片刻之后对售票员说：“我的上帝啊!你不仅向我多收票钱，现在还淹死了我的儿子强尼。”
有关英语的笑话篇三
Where Am I 我这是在哪儿
Nat lived in a small town in England. He always stayed in England for his holidays, but then last year he thought1, "I've never been outside this country. All my friends go to Spain3, and they like it very much, so this year I'm going4 to go there too."
First he went to Madrid and stayed in a small hotel for a few5 days. On the first morning he went out for a walk. In England people drive on the left, but in Spain they drive on the right. Natforgot6 about this, and while7 he was8 crossing a busy street, a bicycle knocked9 him down.
Nat lay10 on the ground11 for a few seconds and then he sat12 up and said13: "Where am I?" An old man was selling maps at the side2 of the street, and he at oncecame14 to Nat and said, "Map of the city, sir?"
兰特住在英格兰的一座小镇上。他的假日一直都是在这里度过的，可是去年，他想：“我从来都没有出过国。我的朋友们都很喜欢去日本度假，今年我也准备去那里。”
他先是去了马德里，并在一家小旅馆住了几天。来到这里的第一天，他一早起来去散步。在英国，人们都是靠左行驶，但是西班牙人都是靠右行驶。兰特忘记了这点，于是在他穿过一条繁杂的街道时，不幸被一辆自行车撞倒了。
兰特在地上躺了几秒钟，随后坐起来问道：“我这是在哪儿?”这时，路边正好有一位老人在卖地图，于是他立即走上前去，对兰特说：“先生，买地图吗?
有关英语的笑话篇四
A dogss bad habit 狗的坏习惯
As a professional animal trainer, I was disturbed when my own dog developed a bad habit. Every time I hung my wash out on the clothesline, she would yank it down. Drastic1 action was called for.
I put a white kitchen towel on the line and waited. Each time she pulled it off, I scolded her. After two weeks the towel was untouched. Then I hung out a large wash and left to do someerrands2. When I came home, my clean clothes were scattered3 all over the yard. On the line was the white kitchen towel.
作为一名专业的驯兽师，我对自己的狗养成的一个坏习惯感到很苦恼。每当我把洗好的衣服搭在晾衣绳上时，它总会猛地把衣物全扯下来。对此，我必须要采取严厉的 措施 。
我在绳上搭了一条白色的厨房毛巾，每当它把毛巾扯下来时，我就会训斥它一顿。两个星期后，它再也不碰毛巾了。于是，我把许多洗干净的衣服搭在晾衣绳上后，就出去办事了。等我回到家时，洗好的衣服分散在院子的各个角落，只有那条白毛巾依然搭在绳子上。
有关英语的笑话篇五
Save Money 省钱
Henry was from the United1 States and he had come to London for a holiday.
One day he was not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hotel and said, "I want to see doctor. Can you give me the name of a good one?"
The clerk looked in a book and then said, "Dr2. Kenneth Grey, 61010."
Henry said, "Thank yon very much. Is he expensive?"
"Well," the clerk answered, "he always charges his patients two pounds for their first visit to him, and one pound and 50 pennies3 for later visits."
Henry decided4 to save 50 pennies, so when he went to see the doctor, he said, "I've come again, doctor."
For a few seconds the doctor looked at his face carefully without saying anything. Then he nodded and said, "Oh, yes." He examined him and then said, "Everything's going as it should do. Just continue with the medicine I gave you last time."
美国人亨利来到伦敦度假。
有一天，他感觉不舒服，便来到旅馆服务台向服务员咨询：“我想看病，你能帮我找一位好医生吗?”
服务员翻阅了一下本子，然后说：“肯尼思·格雷医生，61010。”
亨利说：“非常感谢，他看病收费贵吗?”
“喔，”服务员回答说，“初诊患者收费2英镑，复诊收费1.5英镑。”
亨利琢磨着能省下50便士，于是，他去看病时对医生说：“我又来了，医生。”
医生一言不发地端详着他的面容，过了一会儿点点头说道：“哦，对。”医生给亨利做完检查后说：“病情得到了控制，继续吃上次我给你的药就可以了。”
