笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

喜欢说冷笑话的英文(冷笑话 英文)

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经典英语冷笑话12篇

下面是我整理的经典英语冷笑话12篇,以供大家学习参考。

经典英语冷笑话:小心有狗!

As a stranger entered a little country store, he noticed a sign warning, "Danger! Beware of dog!" posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" he asked the owner. "Yep, that's him," came the reply. The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you post that sign?" "Because," the owner explained, "Before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him!"

一名陌生人走进一家乡间小商店,看到玻璃门上帖着的一个告示牌上写着,“危险! 小心有狗!” 进去后,他看到一条样子一点都不凶的老狗趴在收款机旁边的地板上睡觉。 “这就是大伙都得留神的那只狗啊?” 陌生人问店主。“是,就是他”,店主回答。 听到这个回答, 陌生人觉得很好笑。“我觉得那条狗一点都不可怕。 你帖那个告示做什么?” “因为,” 店主解释说,“在我帖告示之前, 大伙老被他绊倒。”

经典英语冷笑话:在天堂结婚

A young couple was on their way to get married when they had an accident and died. Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer. Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven. The young lady then asks St. Peter, “If things just don't work out can we get a divorce?" St. Peter looks at her and replies, " Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?!!"

一对年轻的夫妇在去结婚的路上出了车祸,双双死去了。于是,他们来到了圣徒彼得面前,妻子问是否她还可以和丈夫结婚,圣徒彼得告诉他们,关于这个问题他一有了结果就会回来找他们。差不多30天以后,圣徒彼得回来了,并且告诉他们可以在天堂结婚。妻子又问:“如果生活的不愉快,我们可不可以离婚呢?”圣徒彼得看着她,回答说:“夫人,我花了30天才找到个传教士,难道你真的希望我再去找个律师吗?”

经典英语冷笑话:点名

On my first day of classes at my university I took a front-row seat in my literature course. The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose. Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..." I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance."

大学的第一天,文学课我坐在了前排。教授告诉我们这学期必须得读五本书,他提供我们可供选择的作者名单。随后他缓步走上讲台,拿出课本,“贝克、布莱克、布鲁斯、卡特、库克…”为了写下所有的名字,我不得不疯狂的作着记录。这时有人轻轻的拍我肩膀,坐在我后面的学生悄悄告诉我:“他在点名呢。”

经典英语冷笑话:最希望得到的签名

Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."

我们大学的校报开办了一个每周一问的专栏。上周的问题是:“你最想要什么人的签名?为什么?”和预计的一样,大部分的回答都是歌星、体育明星或者政治家。但是,最优秀的答案来自一个一年级新生,他说:“在我 毕业 证上签字的那个人。”

经典英语冷笑话:动机

My English professor once launched into a lecture on "motivation." "What pushes you ahead?" he asked. "What is it that makes you go to school each day? What driving force makes you strive to accomplish?" Turning suddenly to one young woman, he demanded: "What makes you get out of bed in the morning?" The student replied: "My mother."

我们英文课的教授有一次在课上讲“动机”。“是什么推动你在人生的路上向前走?”他问道,“是什么让你每天上学来?又是什么驱使你追求成功?”冲着一个女学生,他问:“是什么让你早晨从床上爬起来的呢?”学生答道:“我妈妈。”

经典英语冷笑话:班级、情人和蠢驴

Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day, so he wrote some words on the blackboard which read as follows: "Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow." A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked up and erased the "c" in the word "class." The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walked back, looked at the student, then at the notice with the "c" erased--calmly walked up and erased the "l" in "lass", looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面,因此他在黑板上写道:“汤姆教授明天将和大家见面”。一位学生看到这条通知后,觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了,就走上前,将“class”中的“c”擦掉,教授听到笑声,转过身走回来,看了看那位学生,又看看被改动过的通知,不动声色地走上前,把“lass” 中的“l”擦掉,看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生,教授扬长而去。

经典英语冷笑话:智力缺陷

"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," Bob asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" "Nothing is easier," he replied, "You ask him a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If he hesitates, that puts you on the track." "Well, what sort of question?" "Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?' " Bob thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

“医生,你能不能告诉我,”鲍勃问,“对于一个看上去很正常的人,你是怎样判断出他有智力缺陷的呢?”“再没有比这容易的了,”医生回答,“问他一个简单的问题,简单到所有人都知道答案,如果他回答得不干脆,那你就知道是怎么回事了。”“那要问什么样的问题呢?”“嗯,你可以这样问,‘库克船长环球旅行了三次,但是在其中一次的途中他去世了,是哪一次呢?’”鲍勃想了一会儿,紧张的回答道,“你就不能问另外一个问题吗?坦率地说,我对历史了解的不是很多。”

经典英语冷笑话:开卷考试

On the day of our final exam at my Community College in Santa Maria, Calif., we heard that the bookstore had changed its policy and would buy back our business-management textbooks. Before class, several of us dashed over to the store and sold our books. We were seated and waiting for the test when our professor announced that considering the difficulty of the final, it would be an open-book exam.

我在加利福尼亚的圣玛丽亚市一所社区大学读书。期末考试那天,听说书店在回购我们的工商管理课本。考试前,我们几个赶忙跑到书店把书卖了,随后,我们坐在教室里等着考试。这时候教授宣布:考虑到试题的难度,今天的考试我们决定开卷。

经典英语冷笑话:机长的录音

This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew... I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic. If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire. If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off. If you look down towards the Atlantic Ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it to waving at you. That's me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording.

这是你们机长的声音。请允许我代表全体工作人员,欢迎你们乘坐英国航空公司602号航班从纽约飞往伦敦。我们此时在大西洋上空35,000英尺的高度。如果你从飞机的右边向窗外看去,你将会发现右侧的两个引擎都已经起火。如果你从左边往外看,你就会看到那边的机翼已经脱落了。如果你俯视下面的大西洋,那么你会看到一艘黄色的救生筏,上面有三个人正在朝你挥手。那是我、副驾驶员还有我们的一名女乘务员。这是一段录音。

经典英语冷笑话:无聊的课

One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're running!"

在开普吉拉多市的东南密苏里州立大学上学的时候,我喜欢的几个老师之中有一个以他的幽默感而出名。给新生上头一节课,他给学生解释在他课上的纪律,他说:“我知道我的课经常会很枯燥乏味,所以我并不介意你们在课上看表。然而,我坚决不允许你们把表重重的摔在课桌上,以此来检查你的表是不是还在走。”

经典英语冷笑话:交通事故

A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'

有个人开车行驶在上班的路上,一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车,当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来,他就拼命的挣扎着,最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿,他平静了,别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎,他说:“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了,当我醒过来,我发现我躺在了路边,前面是一个巨大的 广告 牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’,但是有个人挡住了那个“S。”

经典英语冷笑话:写给上帝的信

A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the president. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.

有个小男孩非常需要50美元,他为此祷告了数周但是什么也没发生。后来,他决定写封信向上帝索要这50美元。邮局接到这封信,想了想觉得还是应该交给总统比较好。总统被逗笑了,于是指示秘书寄给小男孩5美元,因为他觉得5美元对于一个小孩来讲已经是不少了。小男孩收到了钱很高兴,给上帝回了一封 感谢信 ,信里写道:尊敬的上帝,非常感谢你把钱寄给我。然而,我发现这些钱是通过白宫寄出的,因此,和往常一样,那帮家伙收了我45美元的税。

喜欢说冷笑话的英文(冷笑话 英文)插图

英文里“冷幽默”或者“冷笑话”这词怎么说

1.冷幽默:Cold humor

冷幽默,带有一点黑色幽默的成分,但又区别于黑色幽默。可以理解为意图不明显的幽默。当事人在讲一个冷幽默的时候,并没有刻意地要达到幽默的效果,是一种很随意的幽默,笑不笑由你。

2.冷笑话:Cold jokes

冷笑话,是指笑话本身因为无聊、谐音字、翻译、或省去主语、不同逻辑、断语或特殊内容等问题,或由于表演者语气或表情等原因,导致一个笑话不能达到好笑的目的,较难引人发笑而成冷场。

扩展资料

由于冷幽默后半部分总会出乎人的意料,所以对冷幽默怀有积极看法的人听得冷幽默越多,冷幽默就会越冷。原因是冷幽默的后半部分总是出乎听者意料之外的。

听者内心总暗示自己,“冷幽默的后半部分内容是猜不到的”,但是人的好奇心却让听者继续猜。最终导致的结果就是“注意力集中和思维地投入”这个思维过程的加长或加深。

冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。

参考资料来源:百度百科-冷幽默

参考资料来源:百度百科-冷笑话

冷笑话用英语怎么说?

问题一:冷笑话的英文怎样表达? 烂GET?

问题二:英文里“冷幽默”或者“冷笑话”这词怎么说 10分 如果带有讽刺意义的,可以说是black humour 黑色幽默

如果只是不搞笑的冷笑话伐有很多种表达方式,unfunny jokes,cold jokes,

bad jokes, stupid jokes都可以用来形容冷笑话

问题三:“冷笑话”用英语怎么说 同上,不过用chinese English也可以说成:cold joke

问题四:冷笑话 用英文怎么说 冷笑话

[名] sick joke; cold jest;

[例句]她厌烦了她丈夫的冷笑话。

She is tired of her hu *** and's stock jokes

问题五:冷笑话的英文怎样翻译呀!谢谢 sick joke;?cold jest

那是冷笑话吗?Is that some kind of sick joke?

望采纳~~

问题六:冷笑话的英文是什么? cold joke

dry humor

问题七:英语冷笑话大全 带翻译 15分 1、Q: What's the difference between an iceberg and a clothes brush?

冰山和衣刷之间有什么区别?

A: One crushes boats and the other brushes coats!

一个 撞 船 一个 刷 大衣!(单词的拼写造成的JOKE)

2、white man:are you Black?

black man:no,i'm White

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了

汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?

约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。

汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?

约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, What happened?

A kid bit me, replied Ivan.

Would you recognize him if you saw him again? asked his mother.

I'd know him any where, said Ivan. I have his ear in my pocket.

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问,“发生了什么事?”

“一个男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡说。

“再见到他你能认出来吗?”妈妈问。

“他走到哪里我都能认出他,”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?

I gave it to a poor old woman, he answered.

You're a good boy, said the mother proudly. Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?

She is the one who sells the candy.

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。

“昨天给你的钱干什么了?”

“我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”

“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day......

关于冷笑话在英语中的表达

直接翻译成cold joke就可以了,GOOGLE上查得到。而绝对不是black humor(以下详细解释)

冷笑话属于失败笑话的一种,是指由于笑话本身因为皆音字、或翻译、或省去主语、或不同逻辑、或断语及特殊内容等问题,或是由于表演者语气或表情等原因,导致一个原本好笑的笑话不能达到好笑的目的,较难引人发笑而成冷场,不过并不代表笑话本身沉闷,这也是幽默的一种表现。而现在听到冷笑话大多会会心微笑,有时作出双臂抱紧的动作表示:“好冷啊!”或与冷语意相关的说话与表现,如打冷震、温度、空调或炎热天气等等。

另外black humor(黑色幽默)是完全不同的概念,什么是“黑色幽默”呢?通俗地说,某个被判绞刑的人,在临上绞架前,指着绞刑架故作轻松地询问刽子手:“你肯定这玩艺结实吗?” 因此黑色幽默又被称为“绞刑架下的幽默”。

这一派作品中充斥的讽刺幽默与传统的幽默大不相同:并不表现一种单纯的滑稽情趣,而带着浓重的荒诞、绝望、阴暗甚至残忍的色彩。作品以一种无可奈何的嘲讽态度表现环境和个人(即“自我”)之间的互不协调,并把这种互不协调的现象加以放大,扭曲,变成畸形,使它们显得更加荒诞不经,滑稽可笑,同时又令人感到沉重和苦闷。

下面是几个冷笑话:

The mean man's party

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说:“你上到五楼,找中间那个门,然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后,再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪,你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。

I think that I'm a chicken

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

精神病医师:你哪里不舒服?

病人:我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师:这种情况从什么时候开始的?

病人:从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

Who Is the Laziest?

Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

中文:

父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?

汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。

父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?

汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."

Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."

Johnson: "But I want you to."

Wife: "But why?"

Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"

译文:

老农约翰逊就要死了。他的家人都站在床边。他声音低沉地对妻子说:“我死后,我想你嫁给农夫琼斯。”

妻子说:“不,在你死后,我不能嫁给任何人。”

约翰逊:“但我希望你这么做。”

妻子:“为什么?”

约翰逊:“因为琼斯曾在一笔贩马的交易中欺骗了我。”

“冷笑话”这个词用英文怎么讲

如果带有讽刺意义的,可以说是black humour 黑色幽默

如果只是不搞笑的冷笑话,有很多种表达方式,unfunny jokes,cold jokes,

bad jokes, stupid jokes都可以用来形容冷笑话

别人说冷笑话英文怎么回复

1. i am serious.

我是认真的。

如果别人说are you kidding me? 最好的回答就是 no, i am not kidding you. (我不是在开你玩笑。) 或是 i am serious. (我是认真的。) 比如有些东西我们中国人吃但老外就觉得非常不可思议。有一次我跟老美说 we eat pork\'s blood. (我们吃猪血。) 老美听了之后直呼 are you kidding me? 这时我就可以回答 i am serious.

2. get out of here.

我不相信你所说的。

get out of here 也可以简单说成 get out,原意是叫别人走开,但可以引申成“我不相信你说的话”。 例如有人说 i solved the problem on my own. (我自己把这个问题解出来了。) 你就可以不屑地回答get out of here. you are such a dweeb. (少来了,你这个笨蛋怎么可能解出来呢?)

另外 give me a break 跟 get out of here 的意思差不多,都是用来表示你觉得别人开玩笑开得太夸张了,到了不可思议的地步。例如某位丑男对你说 i had a dozen of girlfriends during the past five years. (过去五年内我交了一打女朋友。) 你就可以说 give me a break! (你少在那吹牛了。)

3. are you making fun of me?

你在嘲笑我吗?

这个 make fun of someone 是有点取笑或是嘲笑别人的意思,和无伤大雅的 play jokes 是不太一样的。例如你说别人又矮又胖,像个水桶一样,这就是 make fun of someone。这样子是会伤到别人的。

4. you sneak.

你很聪明狡猾。

sneak 指的是一个人很聪明,但是却很爱利用自己的一点小聪明去开别人的玩笑,或是捉弄人家。下次看到这种人你就可以跟他说 you sneak!

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