笑话哦
很搞笑的冷笑话哦 !

搞笑小笑话英语翻译(搞笑小笑话英语翻译短句)

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英语短笑话带翻译

民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。我精心收集了英语短笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!

英语短笑话带翻译篇1

Liar,Liar

骗子,骗子

A wife went to the police station with her next-door neighbor to report that her husband wasmissing.

老婆与隔壁邻居到警察局报案 说她的老公失踪了。

The policeman asked her for a description.

警察要求,她形容一下。

She said,"He is 35 years old,6 feet 4 inches,has dark eyes,dark wavy hair,an athleticbuild,weighs 185 pounds,is soft-spoken ,and is good to the children."

她说:“他三十五岁,六尺四寸,黑眼睛,波浪状的深色头发;体格健壮,体重185磅,说话很轻,而且对小孩子很好。”

The next-door neighbor protested,

隔壁邻居期提出反驳说:

"Your husband is 5 feet 4 inches,chubby,bald,has a big mouth,and is mean to your children."

“你老公五尺四寸,胖嘟嘟 的,秃头,有一个太嘴巴,而且对你的小孩很刻薄。”

The wife replied,"Yes,but who wants"THIS KIND OF STUFF"back?"

老婆回答说:“你说对了,可是谁会要 这种没用的废物 回来呀?”

英语短笑话带翻译篇2

A Henpecked Husband

怕老婆的老公

A henpecked husband was advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself.

有一位怕老婆的老公接受心理治疗师的建议要坚持自己的主见。

"You don't have to let your wife bully you,"he said."Go home and show her you are the boss ."

他说:“你不必让你的老婆像恶霸一样欺侮你。回家去让她知道你才是老大。”

The husband decided to take the doctor's asvice.He went home,slammed the door,shook his first in his wife's face,and growled,"

这位老公决定接受医生的劝告。他回到家,用力啪答一声关上门,在他老婆的面前:挥舞着拳头,并且大声咆哮说:

From now on you are talking orders from me.

“从现在起,你得乖乖听我的命令。

I want my supper right now,and when you get it on the table ,go upstairs and lay out my clothes.

我现在就要吃晚餐,当你把它弄好放在餐桌上的时候,到楼上去把我的衣服摆放好。

Tonight I am going out with my friends.

今天晚上我要和我的。朋友外出,

You are going to stay at home where you belong.

你给我乖乖待在家里不许乱跑。

Another thing,you know who is going to tie bow tie?"

另外还有一件事情,你知道谁要替我打蝴蝶结领结吗?”

I certainlydo,"screamed the wife."The Undertaker."

老婆尖叫着说:“我当然知道。是收尸的人。”

英语短笑话带翻译篇3

向你的烦恼说再见

A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。

Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "

那位犹太人对圣彼得说:“坦白讲,能到这里让我蛮惊讶的,我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”

"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."

“我们实在感到非常遗憾,”圣彼得说,“但我们这里没有那样的偏见,这里每个人都完全平等,只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”

the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"

那名犹太人正确地拼出God后,被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得,我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击,而且只能住在居留地内,我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”

"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "

“小兄弟,你的烦恼已经结束了,只要拼出God这个词,你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”

The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.

印第安人照着做,不久也被引入天堂。

Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"

接着那名黑人跨步向前,“圣彼得,”他说道,“一辈子人们都瞧不起我,不公平对待我,在这里那些事不会发生吧!”

"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "

“当然不会,我的弟兄,我们不会做那样的事,只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词,天堂之国就是你的了!”

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搞笑小笑话英语翻译(搞笑小笑话英语翻译短句)插图

英语小笑话带翻译短

英语小笑话带翻译短

   英语小笑话带翻译短一:

Do You Know My Work? One night a hotel caught fire, and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.   Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.   “Before I came out,” said one,“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire, the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could find.No one will be poorer because I took them.”   “You don't know my work,” said the other.   “What is your work?”   “I'm a policeman.   “Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said,“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.   “I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”

你知道我是干什么的吗?   一天晚上,一家旅馆失火,住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。   两个人站在外面,看着大火。   “在我出来之前,”其中一个说:“我跑进一些房间,找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里,火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”   “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。   “你是干什么的?”   “我是警察。”   “噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动,说:“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。   “我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的.故事。”

英语小笑话带翻译短二:

Wife talking to her husband,who reads newspaper all day: I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

Husband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily

妻子和丈夫谈话,他一天到晚总是看报纸,妻子抱怨说:我要是报纸就好了,那样我就可以天天在你手里了。

丈夫说我也希望那样,那样我就可以每天换一个了。

NOTE

I wish I were ....是虚拟语气的说法,表示希望发生但不会发生的。

英语小笑话带翻译短三:

The Crowded Store

It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale (and some advertising in the local paper) were the main reason for the long line that formed by 8:30, the store's opening time, in front of the store.

A small man pushed his way to the front of the line, only to be pushed back, amid loud and colorful curse. On the man's second attempt, he was punched square in the jaw, and knocked around a bit, and then thrown at the end of the line again.

As he got up, he said to the person at the end of the line,” That does it! If they hit me one more time, I won't open the store!"

一天,一个商店降价大甩卖。人们在开店之前就排在了商店门前,排成了很长的一队。一个身材矮小的人推挤着想到队伍的前面,但被推了回来,而且被咒骂着插队。那个人又一次努力往前挤, 但是又被挤到了最后面,而且下巴被重重的碰了几下,他对最后一个人说:“如果他们再次这样对我,我就不去开商店门了!!!”

;

英语小笑话带翻译简短

笑话作为广大人民群众喜闻乐见的文学样式,自诞生之日起就凭借其辛辣独到的讽刺手法,夸张变形的艺术构思以及背反逻辑的情节设想等语体特点而得到作家青睐。我精心收集了简短英语小笑话带翻译,供大家欣赏学习!

简短英语小笑话带翻译篇1

财政学的一课

Smith was the manager of a construction company and was taking bids on a new project. Thefirst bidder was a Polish company, and their representative offered to do the job for $ 400,000. "That seems reasonable," said Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown on that?"

史密斯是一家建设公司的经理,他正负责一个新工程的招标案。第一位投标的是一家波兰公司,他们的代表出价四十万元接那个案子。“似乎很合理,”史密斯说。“你可不可以给我一张明细表呢?”

"Sure," said the Pole, " $200, 000 for labor and $ 200,000 for materials. "

“当然没问题,”波兰公司代表说道,“二十万元工资,二十万元材科费。”

Next to make a bid was the Standard American Construction Company, which bid $ 800,000.

下一个出标的是美国标准建设公司,他们以八十万元竞标。

"Hmm, that seems a bit high," said Smith. "What's the breakdown?"

“嗯,这个价钱似乎有些偏高,”史密斯说道。"你们有明细表吗?"

" $ 400,000 0n materials, $ 400,000 0n labor. "

“四十万元材料,四十万元工资。”

"I'll get back to you. "

“我以后再同你联系。”

Finally the representative of Cohen, Goldstein and Leibowitz entered Smith's office. " $ 1,200,000 is our bid," said the agent."

最后可翰•高斯坦•雷伯威兹公司的代表走进史密斯办公室。“一百二十万元是我们竞标的价码,”代表说道。

$11 200, 0001 That' s way out of line," exclaimed Smith. "Can you give me a breakdown onthat?"

“一百二十万元这个标高得太过分了,”史密斯叫道“你可以给我一张明细表吗?"

"No problem," replied the rep. " $400, 000 for me,$ 400 , 000 for you and $ 400,000 for thePolacks.

“没有问题,”代表回答道。“四十万元给我,四十万元给你,最后四十万元则给那家波兰佬开的公司。”

简短英语小笑话带翻译篇2

黑人英语

The black couple already had eight children, and Lula May was pregnantwith her ninth. Finallyshe convinced her husband to get a vasectomy.

一对黑人夫妇已有八个小孩,而鲁拉·梅又怀了第九个小孩,最后她说服了她先生去做男性绝育手术。

On the morning of the operation, she was surprised to see her husbandputting on a tuxedoand getting into a limousine for the short ride to thehospital.

手术的早晨,她惊讶地看见她老公穿着礼服,乘坐一辆礼车到不远的医院去。

"Say, honey, what's all this about?" asked Lula May.

"亲爱的,这是怎么一回事啊?鲁拉·梅问道。"

"Baby, if you gonna be important, you gotta look important.

"宝贝,如果你想当名大人物的话,就要让人一看就知道你很重要!"

简短英语小笑话带翻译篇3

向你的烦恼说再见

A Jew, an Indian and a black were lined up to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.

一位犹太人、一位印第安人和一位黑人列队进入天国之门。

Said the Jew to St. Peter, 66 Frankly, I'm rather surprised to be here. All my life Christians havedespised and reviled me. "

那位犹太人对圣彼得说:“坦白讲,能到这里让我蛮惊讶的,我一辈子一直都受到__的轻视和侮辱。”

"That's a great sorrow to us,"said St. Peter, "but you won't find that kind of prejudice here.Here, all are truly equal.Just spell God and you may enter."

“我们实在感到非常遗憾,”圣彼得说,“但我们这里没有那样的偏见,这里每个人都完全平等,只要拼出God这个词你就能进入天堂。”

the Jew truly spell out god and was swept through the gates.Next,the Indian came forward andsaid,"St.Peter,all my life I suffered from poverty and discrimination,and could only live in areservation.Will I truly be free here?"

那名犹太人正确地拼出God后,被招入门内。接着印第安人走向前说道“圣彼得,我一辈子饱受贫穷和种族歧视的打击,而且只能住在居留地内,我在这里能得到真正的自由吗?”

"My son, your troubles are over.Just spell the word God you will be free as a bird. "

“小兄弟,你的烦恼已经结束了,只要拼出God这个词,你就能像小鸟一样自由自在。”

The Indian obliged and he, too, entered the Heavenly Kingdom.

印第安人照着做,不久也被引入天堂。

Next,the black man strode forward."St. Peter," he said, "all my life people looked down on meand treated me unfairly.That won't happen here, will it?"

接着那名黑人跨步向前,“圣彼得,”他说道,“一辈子人们都瞧不起我,不公平对待我,在这里那些事不会发生吧!”

"Of course not, my boy. We don't do that kind of thing here.Just spell" onomatopoeia "and theKingdom of Heaven is yours "

“当然不会,我的弟兄,我们不会做那样的事,只要拼出onomatopoeia这个词,天堂之国就是你的了!”

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5. 英语小笑话带翻译

6. 关于英语小笑话带翻译简短

简单的英语小笑话(带翻译)

1、Boy: Is this seat empty? Girl: Yes and this one will be if you sit down. 男孩:这个座位是空的么? 女孩:是的,如果你坐下,我的座位也将是空的。  

2、Boy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Actually I'd rather have the money. 男孩:我可以给你买杯饮料吗? 女孩:你不如直接把钱给我得了。 

3、My little dog can't read Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog! Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!  Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read. 

我的狗不识字。布朗夫人:哦, 亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了! 史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊! 布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”

4、My Wife Will Exchange Them。A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.   ″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.  ″Makes no difference ″replied customer.   ″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.  ″Any″ he responded. 

″Size﹖″ ″Give me whatever you prefer″ the gentleman said slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″ 

反正我太太明天会来换的。一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。 “您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。 “没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。 “那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。“什么颜色都成。”他回答。 “号码呢?” “您就随便给我拿一副吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我太太明天都会来换的。” 

5、A  physics Examination,Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.  The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunder rolls?   

Nick‘s answer: Because  our eyes are before ears.   

一次物理考试。在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。  

6、Jim’s History Examination。Uncle: How did Jim do in his history examination?Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. They asked him  things that happened before the poor boy was born.   

吉姆的历史考试。舅舅:吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样?母亲:唉,糟透了。可话又说回来,这也不能怪他。嗨,他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。 

7、he is really somebody。-- My uncle has 1000 men under him. -- He is really somebody. What does he do?-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.   

他真是一个大人物。-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?-- 墓地守墓人。

扩展资料:

笑话具有篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉的特点。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。

人类历史上,人自从有了语言,就已经出现了开玩笑的语言,最早,人们以口相传,后来有了文字,许多笑话便被记载下来,编书成册。但还有很多笑话,是流传于民间的,就当今社会,每天都有很多笑话出现,有心人如果收集,我想将来一定会有价值。

同时丰富了笑话的宝库。随着近十年网络和手机的飞速发展,随之出现了网络笑话,网络流行语,给力大全,手机笑话,雷人语句,笑料联盟等,促使笑话发展到一个新的阶段。

参考资料:百度百科:笑话

地道英语幽默笑话带翻译?

笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面我为大家带来,欢迎大家阅读!

地道英语幽默笑话1:

The world's cheapest man finally went to the dentist to have his teeth fixed,

一个非常吝啬的守财奴终于去牙科看牙齿。

"Well, sir," said the dentist,

“先生,”牙医说道,

"I'm afraid you've waited too long to get these teeth attended to. They'll all have to e out.”

“恐怕你拖得太久了,这些牙齿都要拔掉才行。

"How much will that cost?" inquired the skinflint.

“那得花多少钱?,’小气鬼问医生。

"A thousand dollars. "

“一千块美金。”

Here 's a hundred ,"said the tightwad ,"Just loosen them up a bit.""

“这里是一百块,”吝啬鬼说。“只要稍微把它们松动一点就好

地道英语幽默笑话2:

A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELE"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal,so he orders,"OK,give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

一个犹太人在伦敦开了一家犹太教餐馆,在餐馆的窗户上写着:“ *** 人不许入内”的字样。过了几天,一个特征鲜明的 *** 人走进餐馆想要一个三明治。收银员马上跑到办公室问该怎么办。餐馆老板不想惹事生非,于是就说,“好吧,卖他一个三明治,但是要收他两倍钱,这样就能给他一个教训了。”

But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple,he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do e,charge them tenfold!” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without plaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELE."

但是第二天,那个 *** 人又来了,这回他要了一整套午餐。老板决定收他三倍的钱,这样他就知道厉害了!那个 *** 人吃过午餐后通通快快的付了钱,还称赞食物非常好吃,甚至预定了当天晚上十个人的晚餐。老板想了想说:“没问题,就让他预定,但是等他的朋友来了就收他们十倍的钱!”等到晚上,那些 *** 人真的来了,点了好多菜,毫无怨言地付了十倍的钱,而且还大方地给了不少小费。于是第三天,老板在窗户上写了一行新字:“犹太人不许人内”。

   地道英语幽默笑话3:

And You Think You've Got Problems

你认为你有问题吗?

"Boy, have I got problems!" the man said to the psychiatrist.

“乖乖,我真的有毛病了!”一位老兄对精神病医生说道。

"Go ahead and tell me about them "

“继续说,告诉我你的问题。”

"Well, to start with, I've got an estate in the country,three Mercedes and a luxury yacht. ."

“喔,是这样的,我在乡下有房地产,另外还有三辆宾士和一艘豪华游艇。”

"So, what's the problem?"

"那问题在哪里呢?"

"I only make $ 100 a week!"

“我一星期只赚一百块美金!”

以上就是我为大家带来的,希望大家喜欢!  

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